Part 21

ANAL SEX WITH WIVES Is anal sex with one’s wife is lawful?

Q: Is a husband permitted to have anal sex with his wife?

A: Having anal sex with one’s wife is strictly prohibited by the Holy Qur’an and the Prophetic Sunnah. This is the opinion of both the earlier and later scholars. It is termed as “Al-Lutiyyah Al-Sughra” [the lesser sodomy]. It is narrated after the Prophet (peace be upon him) that he said: “Allah does not shy of truth! Do not have anal sex with your wives!” In the Qur’an Allah says what means: “Your

wives are your tilth for you, so go to your tilth, when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow upon you pious offspring) for your own selves beforehand.” (2:223)

According to Islam, man is permitted to have sex with his wife from any direction, so long as it is in her vagina. Should he have sex with her in the anus, and she accepts it, both of them should be given a discretionary punishment. If they then insist on this, they should be separated from one anther.

Nushuz {disobedience of the wife] A woman who fasts during the day and prays during the night and refuses her husband’s invitation to the bed

Q: A man has a wife how used to fast all day and observe prayer during the night and refuses her husband’s invitation to the bed. What is the judgment on this?

A: According to the consensus of Muslim scholars, this is permitted to her. Rather, she should answer the invitation of her husband to bed, as this is an obligation on her. Fasting all day and observing optional night prayer is something supererogatory. How then can it be given precedence over the obligation? In a hadith the Prophet

(peace be upon him) said: “A woman cannot observe Fasting in the presence of her husband except after taking his permission.”

If supererogatory Fasting of a woman in the presence of her husband in not permitted except after his permission, it is even worse if she refuses his invitation to bed. In the Two Sahihs it is narrated: “If a man invites his wife to bed but she refuses, the angels will curse her until the morning.” In the Qur’an Allah says what means: “Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard.” (4:34) The right of the husband on his wife comes directly next to the rights of Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him).

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “If ] were to order a human being to prostrate to a human being, | would have ordered the wife to prostrate to her husband. This is because he has a great right on her.” Once some women said to the Prophet (peace be upon him): Men fight in the cause of Allah, pay charity and do righteous deeds, which we cannot do. He replied: “Observing good matrimonial relationship with the husband equals all these

DIVORCE AND ANALOGOUS CASES

KHUL’ [DEMAND OF DIVORCE MADE BY THE WIFE IN RETURN FOR A

COMPENSATION GIVEN TO THE HUSBAND]

Khul’ in the Qur’an and Sunnah Q: What is Khul’ as in the light of the Qur’an and Sunnah?

A: The Khul’ mentioned in the Qur’an and Sunnah is the case when a wife hates her husband and wants to separate with him. She in turn repay to the husband the amount of dower or part of it, thus setting herself free from him as a captive is ransomed. If both parties still feel desire to each other, Khul’ in this case is innovative and alien to the precepts of Islam. But if the wife really hates her husband and chooses to separate with him, she may ransom herself by repaying the dower to him and absolving him from any liabilities due to her, on the condition that he divorces her by way of Khul’. This is according to the teachings of the Holy Qur’an and Sunnah, as well as the consensus of Muslim scholars.

Q: A woman who was averse to her husband, asked him to divorce her by way of Khul’, threatening that she might commit suicide, should he did not divorce her. Her guardian forced the husband to separate with her. She then

married to another husband. The first husband demanded her to return to him because the divorce he made was under coercion. However, she wanted to remain with the second husband. What is the judgment on this case?

A: If the first husband was really forced to separate with her, because of his negligence of his duties towards her, or because he inflicted harm on her without a rightful claim, in word or in deed, the separation will be valid. The second marriage will be valid also and she will be considered the wife of the second husband.

However, if coercion is made by beating the husband or confining him, despite his being good to her, separation will not be valid. Rather, if the wife feels averse to him, despite his being good to her, he may be demanded to separate with her, but not forced to do so. If he complies, it is alright. But if he refuses, the wife will be ordered to be patient, should there be no valid causes that annul

Accusing the wife of adultery

Q: A man accused his wife of adultery. He based his accusation on the incident that he sent her to attenda wedding, then he spied on her and found out that she was not there. She then denied this incident. When the husband told that to her family, and they asked her to confront him and defend herself, she refused, fearing that he might beat

her afterwards. She then went to the house of her maternal uncle. The husband thus made that a proof to cancel all her rights, claiming that she got out from his house without his permission. Is this a rightful claim to slip the wife of her rights?

A: Allah the Almighty says what means: "O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will; and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse; and live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good." (4:19) It is not lawful for a man to prevent his wife from marrying another husband, in case life between them comes to a deadlock, in order to press her to remit him from the duties he owes her in the instance of divorce.

If the wife, however, commits indecency that is clearly proved, in such case the husband will have the right to prevent her and even beat her.

As for the family of the wife, they should ascertain which of the two parties has the right claim and support him/her in his/her case. If it is found out that the wife is the guilty party, she should ransom herself from him. If the husband claims that he sent her to a wedding, but she went elsewhere, he has the right to ask where she went. If he is told that she went to trustworthy people and those people

witnessed to that, or they admitted that she neither went to them nor went to the wedding, this is considered a valid reason to arose the doubt of the husband, and_ will be regarded as a support of the husband's claim.

Regarding the trousseau of the wife, she will be entitled to take it in all circumstances. If both the husband and wife reconcile, it will be better for them. Whenever the wife repents, it will be permissible for her husband to keep her under his custody. There will be no harm in this, as one who repents froma sin becomes like one who did not commit any sin. If they could not reach a settlement, the wife should absolve the husband of the amount of dower, thus the husband is to separate with her by virtue of Khul'. Allah the Almighty says what means: "Then if you fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allah, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives back (the Mahr or a part of it) for her Khul'

The Khul' of a woman who has no guardian

Q: A previously married major woman who had no guardian except legal authorities, married through legal authorities, since she had no guardians. The wife then agreed with her husband to be divorced by way of Khul’, on the condition that she would absolve him of the amount

of dower without taking the permission of her guardian (i.e. legal authorities.) Are Khul' and absolution valid in this case?

A: If she is major enough to make a donation, her Khul' and absolution of dower will be valid, even without the

permission of legal authorities.

Q: A man said to his wife: "If you absolve me of your dower, you will be divorced," thus she absolved him, being not under a legal interdiction, and having no father or brother. She then claimed that she was insane, in order to render the absolution of the husband of the dower void. What is the judgment of this case?

A: Absolution of the dower cannot be rendered void by her mere claim of insanity. Rather, if proof is established that she was insane, but she was not under a legal interdiction, still the absolution of dower cannot be regarded effective, even if she manages her affairs by herself.

Divorce after the absolution of the dower Q: A woman absolved her husband of all her dower. He

then brought witnesses to testify that he divorced her due to 184

absolving him of the amount of dower. Is this divorce valid? Is it revocable or irrevocable?

A: If the husband agrees with the wife to divorce her in return for absolving him of the dower, such divorce will be effective and will be regarded as irrevocable. The same applies if he says to her: "Absolve me of the dower and I will divorce you," or "If you absolve me of the dower, I will divorce you," and suchlike phrases that indicate divorce conditioned by absolution of the dower. However, if she absolves him without the intention of asking for divorce, then he divorces her afterwards, divorce will be revocable.

A question is aroused whether the wife can revoke the absolution of the dower. Usually woman resorts to absolving her husband of the dower either out of her wish to part with him, or for fear of divorce, or that the husband might not marry another woman. In such instances, two narrations reported after Imam Ahmad, one confirming the opinion of revoking the absolution of the dower and one opposing it. If the wife willingly absolves the husband of the dower without any reason, not anticipating any return, in such case she will undoubtedly be entitled to revoke the