Part 8

from remarrying. This practice continued until Islam expressly forbade a man from marrying the wife of his father. Allah % said:

4, Fee oc er Fw ee wy OD et 2 4e A) Ge BOY al or Sie KG CASS Yay 4@ Sus ds Gis ES “And marry not women whom your fathers married, except what has already passed ; indeed it was shameful and most hateful, and an evil way.” (Qur'an 4: 22)

Despite their deviant sexual practices, Arabs did forbid at least some forms of incestuous marriage, such as marriage with one’s mother, daughter, grandmother, sister, and aunt.

estate.” And the following Verse was then revealed:

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“There is a share for men and a share for women from what is left by parents and those nearest related, whether, the property be small or large ~ a legal share.’’ (Qur'an 4: 7)

Worse than the ill-treatment adult women received was what some Arabs did to their daughters. In the mind of the average Arab, a daughter was of no use and posed many potential problems. A daughter couldn't fight and defend her clan and tribe; she couldn't earn nearly as much money as men could; and if she was taken captive during war, her captors took her as a slave and used her to satisfy their sexual desires. Some females were even forced to work as prostitutes; like pimps do today, their masters would take from them all of the money they made. Society actually sanctioned such practices. Fearing shame and the above-mentioned eventualities, a man would become very sad and upset if his wife gave birth to a daughter. Describing this reality, Allah $ said:

SN SEO WS BSS Me Ib SN ALTE yd 40 YECE NUM Li Ap KAS Bigeye “And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief! He hides himself from the people because of the evil of that whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonour or bury her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision .”” (Qur'an

Many fathers would choose to bury their shame, by literally burying their daughters alive. Allah 3 said:

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"] Tafseer Al-Qurtubee (5/45).

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“And when the female (infant) buried alive (as the pagan Arabs used to do} shall be questioned. For what sin she was killed?”

Some parents buried their child alive because they were poor and feared that they didn’t have enough wealth to raise a child; others did so not because they were poor, but because they feared becoming poor in the future. Islam of course forbade all of these evil practices. Allah iad said:

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4@ Shei Ky Ss KS EM Ye gh at “Say (O Muhammad #s): ‘Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited you from : Join not anything in worship with Him ; be good and dutiful to your parents; kill not your children because of poverty - We provide sustenance for you and for them ; come not near to Al-Fawahish (shameful sins, illegal sexual intercourse, etc.) whether committed openly or secretly, and kill not anyone whom Allah has forbidden, except for a just cause (according to Islamic law). This He has commanded you that you may understand.” (Qur'an 6: 151)

And Allah 4 also said:

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“And kill not your children for fear of poverty. We provide for them and for you. Surely, the killing of them is a great sin.”

To be sure, these practices were not uncommon; but there were some tribes that did not sanction infanticide. Even among the Quraish, there were individuals who despised the practice of

burying children alive. Zaid ibn ‘Amr ibn Nufail - may Allah have mercy on him - was a noteworthy example; Zaid would even go to fathers who contemplated killing their daughters and offered to raise their daughters for them.

Some Arab tribes honoured women and even consulted with them about marriage. In some regards, women rose above their circumstances; they were brave and would accompany their husbands to the battlefield, and if need arose, would even participate in the fighting. The Bedouin woman would help her husband and take care of their livestock; she would also help out by spinning wool and knitting clothing.

4) Marriage took on many strange forms.

Marriage as we know it today was just one form of marriage recognized by Arabs; there were other forms as well, all agreed upon by custom. If an individual engaged in one of the accepted forms, no one else had the legal right to reproach him. I use the word legal, but the forms of marriage were not set down in writing in a constitution or charter of laws; rather, like most other laws that were collectively agreed upon by Arabs, custom alone dictated the actions of society’s members.

‘Aishah % related to us four forms of marriage that were practiced by Arabs during the days of ignorance:

“Marriage, during the days of ignorance (pre-Islamic days), was upon four forms; one of those forms is the marriage that people engage in today, which involves a man going to another man and proposing to have his dependant (ward, charge) or daughter’s hand in marriage; he would then give her dowry to her, and marry her. Another form of marriage involved a man saying to his wife just after she became purified from menstruation, “Send for such and such man, and ask him to have intercourse (so that he can get you pregnant).” The husband would stay away from her and categorically avoid touching her, until it became clear whether she got pregnant from the other man whom she asked to have sex with her. When the issue of her pregnancy became

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clear (i.e., at the time of her next period), her husband would, if he so desired, have (sexual) relations with her. He would only do that (i.e., he would only have another man have sex with his wife) out of a desire to have a child of noble descent. This form of marriage is (called) the Marriage of Istibdaa’. In another form of marriage, a group of men, fewer than ten in number, would enter upon a woman, and each one of them would have her (i.e., would have sex with her). After she became pregnant, gave birth, and a number of nights passed after she gave birth, she would summon the men to come to her. None of the men could refuse, and so all of them would gather by her side. She would say to them, “You indeed know what you did, and I have given birth. And so he is your son, O so-and-so,” and she would mention the name of the man whom she loved (to have as her child’s father). Her child would be ascribed to that man, and he could not refuse (to be the father). As for the fourth form of marriage, many people would enter upon a woman (and engage in sexual intercourse with her), and she would not refuse anyone who came to her. They were the fallen women who would install banners over their doors; whoever wanted them, would enter upon them (and have sex with them). If one such woman became pregnant and then delivered a child, they (i.e., the men who had sex with her) would be gathered for her, and Kaafahs (people who were recognized for their expertise in being able to discern relatives through physical attributes) would be sent for them. Then, the Kaafaahs would ascribe the child to the one they thought (was the father); the child would then be ascribed to him, and would be called his son. And he wouldn't refuse [to accept him as his son (such were the rules of the game that everyone followed according to custom). Then when Muhammad #% was sent with the truth, he destroyed the marriage of ignorance (i.e., the latter three of the four forms), and kept legislated the marriage that people engage in today."

"I Sahech Bukhaaree, “The Book of Marriage”; chapter, “Those Who Say: Without (the Involvement of) a Guardian (in the Marriage Agreement). There is no Marriage.” Hadeeth number: 5127.

Some scholars mentioned forms of marriage that ‘Aishah % didn’t mention; one was the taking of boyfriends and girlfriends, which was in fact fornication and not marriage. Allah 3 mentioned this practice in the following Verse: “Nor taking boyfriends.’’ (Qur’an 4: 25)

Then there was the Mut’ah marriage, which remained lawful during the early days of Islam, but was eventually prohibited. Mut’ah marriage is a temporary marriage that ends after a predetermined period of time elapses - one month, two months, one year, whatever is agreed upon by the two contracting parties. Another form of marriage involved a trade: During the preIslamic days of ignorance, one man would say to another, “Give up your wife to me, and I will give up my wife to you, and I will give you more.”""] And yet another form of false marriage was called Nikaah Ash-Shigaar: By way of formal agreement, one man would marry his daughter off to another man, on the condition that that man married his daughter off to him; and in this transaction, no dowry would be given to either of the two daughters.