Institutional Monogamy

Ti his material was not put together in defense of polygyny! (Ta ‘addud az-Zawjat), for Allah has already confirmed the right to do so as clearly stated in the Qur’an:

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“... Marry of the women that please vou; two, three or four, but if you fear that you will not be able to deai justly, then only one...” (Qur’an 4: 3)

Moreover, the Prophet (=) demonstrated in detail how polygyny should be put into practice in his divinely guided lifestyle (Sunnah). 7a ‘addud (polygyny) was the practice of most of the major Sahabah (Companions of the Prophet — may Allah be pleased with them all) as well as many outstanding scholars of the Muslim Ummah (nation) from the earliest time of Islam up until today. 7a ‘addud was also practised among a portion of the general

' Webster’s Vew World Dictionary defines polygyny as a practice of having two or more wives at the same time; whereas, polygamy is defined as the practice of having two or more wives or husbands at the same time.

14 Institutional Monogamy

masses in most Muslim countries before and after the advent of European colonization. In fact, it is only in recent times (early twenticth century) that a loud new cry has been raised by so-called modernist Muslims attacking the institution of marriage in Islam due to its recognition of polygyny and the ease with which divorce may be obtained. They propose the replacement of the Islamic form of marriage with the restrictive impractical monogamy practiced in the West, arguing that it is the only just and civilized form of marriage. As a result, a number of countries with Muslim majorities have officially forbidden or severely restricted polygyny in their imported constitutions. However, to this day, Ta ‘addud continues to be practised by some Muslims throughout the Muslim world, though with less frequency than in earlier times.

Early Christians were polygynous

Having said that, however, there are a few points raised by the opponents of Islam which should be answered. First among those is the totally erroneous claim that Christianity’s introduction of monogamy not only protected the rights of women but also that it had a civilizing effect on the world in the realm of human relations. First of all, it should be noted that there are no scriptural accounts of Jesus prohibiting polygyny, and early Christians were polygynous, following Jewish tradition’. Some of the church

> All Judges must have had several wives cach (Judges 8:30, 10:45, 12:14), King Solomon is said to have had seven hundred wives, princesses and three hundred concubines (Kings 9:16, 11:3 cf. S. of Sol. 6:8). His son had eighteen wives and sixty concubines (2 Chron. 11:21). Each of Rehoboam’s twentyzight sons had many wives (2 Chron. 11:21). Even the wise men of the Talmud have given good advice that no man should marry more than four wives, the number Jacob had.

Polvgamy in Islam 15

Fathers accused the Jewish rabbis of sensuality, yet not a single church council in the early centuries opposed polygyny nor was any obstacle placed in the way of its practice. In fact, St. Augustine declared openly that he did not condemn it. Luther, on occasion, spoke of it with considerable toleration and was known to have approved the bigamous status of Philip of Hesse. In 1531, the Anabaptists openly preached that a true Christian must have several wives. There was even a time in 1650 when some of the Christian leaders resolved that every man should be allowed to marry two women. It 1s also recorded that the German reformers even so late as the sixteenth century, admitted the validity of a second and third marriage contemporaneously with the first in default of issue and other similar causes." In fact, it was only after Christianity was revised according to Paulian doctrines that concepts of monogamy were introduced into Christian philosophy in order for it to conform to Greco-Roman culture. Greeee and Rome had evolved an institutionalized form of monogamy in societies where the majority of the populace were slaves who could be used freely. Hence what was termed monogamy in theory was in fact unrestricted polygamy.

Self-denial as a way of life

Secondly, along with the development of monasticism there arose a philosophy which regarded every gratification of the sexual impulse with suspicion and disgust. For those who chose celibacy or self-denial as their way of life, the greatest challenge was their own sexual desires. The writings of early monks are filled with their descriptions of dreams in which they are

> Hammudah ‘Abd al-‘Ati, The Family Structure in Islam, (American Trust Publication, 1977), p. 114.

16 Institutional Monogamy

tormented by beautiful and alluring women. Many Christian saints were reported to have been convinced that they were tempted at night by voluptuous and lascivious female demons called succubi that tormented them. While nuns and other Christian women, on the other hand, asserted that they were visited at night by equally alluring beings called incubi who had sex with them.* Women were despised and blamed for corruption based on Eve’s supposed submission to the Devil and her subsequent encouragement to Adam to eat from the forbidden tree. Some Christian scholars of the past even interpreted the forbidden tree as sex itself. The following are statements of canonized saints of Christianity concerning women:

“Woman is the daughter of falsehood, a sentinel of Hell, the enemy of peace; through her Adam lost Paradise (St. John Damascene).”

“Woman is the instrument which the Devil uses to gain possession of our souls (St. Cyprian).”

“Woman is the arm of the Devil, her voice is the hissing of the serpent (St. Anthony)”,

“Woman has the poison of an asp, the malice of a dragon (St. Gregory the Great).””°

Hence, sex was looked upon as an evil impulse necessary for procreation but despised for pleasure. And, the acceptable form of marriage was reduced to the simplest possible terms, monogamy.

The question remains why a male-dominated society should be so opposed to polygyny when such a large number of its married members practise a form of it by engaging in illicit or casual relationships. Some males self-righteously assert that

* The Family Structure in Islam, p. 51. > *Ulfat ‘Aziz us-Samad, éslam and Christianity, Kuwait: LLF.S.O., 1982, p. 79.

Polvgamy in Islam 17

monogamy is maintained to protect the rights of women. But, since when has the western male been concerned about women’s rights? Western society is riddled through and through with socioeconomic practices which oppressed women and led to the upsurge of women’s liberation movements in recent years, from suffragettes of the early nineteen hundreds to the ERAs of today. The reality is that monogamy protects the males right to play around without any responsibility, since the incidence of infidelity among them is usually much higher than that among females. The pill and easy access to abortions opened the door to illicit sex and the female wanted to join in the fun. In spite of her natural and general inclination towards meaningful relationships, she became caught up in the so-called sexual revolution. However, she is still the one who suffers from the side effects of the pill, coil and the loop or the trauma of abortion in much the same way as she suffered in the past the shame of child birth out of wedlock. Meanwhile the male continues to enjoy himself worry-free, aside from the recent plagues of venereal disease, herpes and A.LD.S.. which are now causing many to reassess their sexual habits, Males in general continue to be protected by monogamy, while prostitutes, call girls, mistresses, secretaries, models, actresses. store clerks, waitresses and girl friends remain in their playground. The fact is that institutional polygyny is vehemently opposed by male-dominated western society because it would force men to fidelity. It would oblige them to take socio-economic responsibility for the fulfillment of their polygynous desires and provide protection for women and children from mental and physical abuse. Some might argue that if the stigma of illegitimacy were removed, the problem could be solved without having to resort to the legalization of polygyny. However. every child has a natural desire to know its parents and the denial of that right often leads to serious psychological problems later on in life.

18 Institutional Monogamy

In fact, females have a vested interest in institutional polygyny because of the obvious socio-economic protection it provides. Furthermore, the preponderance of females in the world is an established fact. The death-rate at birth is much higher for boys and women on the whole live longer than men; not to mention, the large numbers of men who die daily in the various wars around the world. Thus, although the ratio may vary from country to country the results are still the same; women outnumber men.° This apparent imbalance has been further aggravated in the West by the alarming increase in homosexuals within society. Hence there are more females competing for a diminishing number of males. Consequently, there will always remain a large segment of women unable to fulfill their sexual and psychological needs through legitimate means in monogamous societies. Their presence in an increasingly permissive society also contributes to the break down of western family structure. A strong family structure is an absolute requirement for a strong and healthy socicty. And, the only way that the family can remain strong and society cater to the needs of its male and female members is through the Islamic form of marriage of which polygyny is a part.

Monogamy protects males

The monogamous marriage system, clearly, does not take into consideration the real needs of human society. It limits possibilities for both men and women while claiming to protect

® Russia: 46.1% of the population are men and 53.9% women (1970 census) United Kingdom: male 48.55% and female 51.45% (1971 census)

United States: male 48.8% and female 51.2% (1971 census)

Brazil: male 49.73% and female 50.27% (1970 census). See The New Encyclopedia Britannica, (U.S.A; Encyclopedia Britannica Inc., 15th edition, 1976), vol. 17, Pp. 34, 270, 244.

Polygamy in Islam 19

the latter. Instead of providing protection for women, it provides a hypocritical shield for men to hide behind while favouring a wife to the detriment of a girlfriend or vice versa. Islam has a complete marriage system which takes into account all the human variables and provides men and women with viable options. To deny the validity and legality of polygyny is tantamount to denying the comprehensiveness of the Islamic marriage system and the wisdom of the divine decree. It is not possible that everything in life should happen according to our feelings and desires. Nor is it possible to live without experiencing pain. On the contrary, Allah (4%) has stated in the Qur’an that Muslims shall be tested:

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“Be sure that We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits [of your labour], but give glad tidings to those who are patient.” (Qur’an 2: 155)

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Neither tests nor pain, whether physical or emotional, can be avoided in this life. Nor can any aspect of the Islamic system be negated merely to justify a particular individual’s or group’s opinions. Although polygyny may be painful for some women, it is also beneficial for other women and society as a whole.

20 Institutional Monogamy

Muslims must accept the whole of Allah’s message and submit to the fact that Allah’s wisdom is superior to our opinions.

Since the rapid spread of Islam in the West in the last two decades, a number of plural marriages have been contracted among recently converted Muslims. However, due to the lack of Islamic legal material in English, many marital problems have arisen among newly converted Muslims. In ignorance, most couples rely on their pre-Islamic concepts and experiences to solve the inevitable problems which must arise in any marriage whether singular or plural. However, the only solution to marital problems or any other problems among Muslims lies in Allah’s command:

Ifyou fall into dispute about anything, take it back to Allah and the Messenger [i.e., back to Qur’an and the Sunnah]...” (Qur’an 4: 59)

This book attempts to do just that in a particular area in which friction is sure to develop among those involved in plural marriages; that is, with regard to the rights and obligations among wives. This book is intended to serve not only as a reference guide for those who are already in plural marriage and those contemplating entering such a relationship, but is also intended for those who simply want a more complete picture of marriage in Islam.

Section Two