Rights of Parents in Islam

Honoring parents (birr al-walidayn) holds an extraordinary status in Islam, ranking immediately after the worship of Allah in importance. The Quran repeatedly pairs the command to worship Allah with the command to honor parents: "And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age while with you, say not to them so much as 'uff' and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word" (Quran 17:23). The Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked: "Which deed is most beloved to Allah?" He said: "Prayer at its proper time." Then which? "Then birr al-walidayn (honoring parents)." Then which? "Then jihad in the cause of Allah" (Sahih al-Bukhari).

The Status of the Mother

The mother holds a particularly elevated status in Islam. A man came to the Prophet and asked: "Who is most deserving of my good companionship?" The Prophet said: "Your mother." The man asked: "Then who?" He said: "Your mother." He asked: "Then who?" He said: "Your mother." He asked: "Then who?" He said: "Your father" (Sahih al-Bukhari and Muslim). This hadith gives the mother three times the emphasis given to the father, reflecting the additional sacrifices of pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing. The Quran underscores this: "And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. His mother carried him with hardship upon hardship, and his weaning is in two years" (Quran 31:14).

Obligations Toward Parents

The Muslim's duties toward parents include: speaking to them with gentleness and respect; providing for their physical needs (food, shelter, medical care) when they are elderly or in need; obeying them in all matters that do not involve disobedience to Allah; seeking their pleasure and avoiding their anger; making dua for them regularly ("My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small," Quran 17:24); and maintaining contact with their friends and relatives even after the parents' death. The Prophet said: "The best of acts of righteousness after the death of parents is to maintain ties with their friends" (Sahih Muslim).

The Gravity of Disobedience

Disobedience to parents (uquq al-walidayn) is one of the major sins in Islam. The Prophet said: "Shall I not tell you of the greatest of the major sins?" He said it three times, then said: "Associating partners with Allah, and disobedience to parents" (Sahih al-Bukhari and Muslim). In another hadith: "Allah has forbidden you to be undutiful to your mothers" (Sahih al-Bukhari). The scholars explain that even saying "uff" (a mild expression of annoyance) is prohibited, so any greater form of disrespect, neglect, or harm is even more severely condemned.

Even Non-Muslim Parents

The duty of respect and kindness extends even to non-Muslim parents. When Asma bint Abu Bakr asked the Prophet about maintaining ties with her polytheist mother who had come to visit her, the Prophet said: "Yes, maintain ties with your mother" (Sahih al-Bukhari). The Quran qualifies: "And if they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, but accompany them in this world with appropriate kindness" (Quran 31:15). The Muslim disobeys parents only in matters of clear disobedience to Allah, and even then, they maintain respectful treatment and kind companionship.