The Prophet's Guidance in Marriage and Family Life

Ibn al-Qayyim's treatment of the Prophet's ﷺ guidance in marriage and family life is one of the richest chapters of Zad al-Ma'ad, drawing on both the legal framework of nikah and the lived example of the Prophet's domestic conduct. The Prophet ﷺ was a husband, father, and household member whose example in private life is as normative as his example in worship and public affairs.

The Prophet ﷺ encouraged marriage strongly and considered it among the most important foundations of Islamic society: 'O young people, whoever among you can afford to marry should marry, for it lowers the gaze and guards the private parts; and whoever cannot should fast, for it will be a shield for him.' He condemned celibacy chosen on religious grounds, saying: 'I marry women; whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.'

The conditions and pillars of nikah as established from his practice include: the wali (guardian) of the bride, a mahr (dower) agreed upon by both parties, the offer and acceptance, and at least two reliable witnesses. He prohibited nikah without a wali, saying: 'There is no marriage without a guardian.' The mahr could be small or large — he married one of his companions to a woman for a mahr consisting of teaching her Quran — but it must be given to the woman, not her family.

In his own marriage conduct, the Prophet ﷺ was described by his wives as the most gentle, patient, and playful of husbands. Aisha ﷺ narrated that he would help with household chores, mend his own sandals, and sew his own garments. He raced with her for amusement, and she won on one occasion and he won on another. He would take her with him on some of his journeys and give her full attention during their time together.

His guidance on the rights of wives was comprehensive: he commanded good treatment as a religious obligation, said 'The best of you are those who are best to their wives,' and made kind treatment of women a criterion of a man's character: 'None honors women except a man of noble character, and none disrespects them except a man of despicable character.' He prohibited striking women on the face, and his final sermon at Hajj included a special reminder to treat women well.

Regarding divorce, the Prophet ﷺ called it 'the most hated of permitted things with Allah' and cautioned against hasty divorce. He established the process of revocable divorce (talaq raj'i) with an iddah (waiting period) to allow reconciliation, and he personally intervened to restore marriages when he saw that a hasty divorce had been issued. The iddah for a pregnant woman lasts until delivery, ensuring the child's lineage is established before any remarriage.

Ibn al-Qayyim also addresses the Prophet's ﷺ guidance on polygyny — his having multiple wives simultaneously — noting that this was specific to his station as Prophet and also a matter of public necessity in the early Muslim community, as many of his wives were widows of companions who needed protection and support. He placed clear limits on polygyny for his community, requiring justice between wives and limiting the number to four.