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Chapter 16 of 335 min read
3. الصبر
Relatives of the deceased are obliged to be patient, practice self restraint, and gracefully accept Allaah’s decree because Allaah has already promised mankind that He would test them. } ِوَﻟَﻨَﺒْﻠُﻮَﻧﱠﻜُﻢْ ﺑِﺸَﻲْءٍ ﻣﱢﻦَ اﻟْﺨَﻮْفِ وَاﻟْﺠُﻮعِ وَﻧَﻘْﺺٍ ﻣﱢﻦَ اْﻷَﻣْﻮَال وَاْﻷَﻧْﻔُﺲِ وَاﻟﺜﱠﻤَﺮَاتِ وَﺑَﺸﱢﺮِ اﻟﺼﱠﺎﺑِﺮِﯾﻦَ { “Verily I21 will test you with some fear, hunger and a loss of wealth, life and the fruit (of your labor) so, give glad tidings to the patient ones.”22 Among the glad tidings for those who are patient when loved ones are lost is a home in paradise. Aboo Moosaa al-Ash‘aree quoted Allaah’s Messenger (r) as saying: ))ﻼﹶ ﻟِﻤﺩِ ﻗﹶﺎلَ ﺍﻟﻠﱠﻪﺒ ﺍﻟﹾﻌﻟﹶﺩﺎﺕﹶ ﻭ ﺇِﺫﹶﺍ ﻤ ﺓﹶ ﺭ ﺜﹶﻤﺘﹸﻡﻀﻘﹸﻭلُ ﻗﹶﺒ ﻓﹶﻴﻡ ﻨﹶﻌﻘﹸﻭﻟﹸﻭﻥﺩِﻱ ﻓﹶﻴﺒ ﻋﻟﹶﺩ ﻭﺘﹸﻡﻀﺌِﻜﹶﺘِﻪِ ﻗﹶﺒ ﻨﹸﻭﺍ ﺍﺒﻘﹸﻭلُ ﺍﻟﻠﱠﻪ ﻓﹶﻴﻊﺠﺘﹶﺭﺍﺴ ﻭﻙﻤِﺩ ﺤﻘﹸﻭﻟﹸﻭﻥﺩِﻱ ﻓﹶﻴﺒﺎﺫﹶﺍ ﻗﹶﺎلَ ﻋﻘﹸﻭلُ ﻤ ﻓﹶﻴﻡ ﻨﹶﻌﻘﹸﻭﻟﹸﻭﻥﻓﹸﺅَﺍﺩِﻩِ ﻓﹶﻴ ﻴ ﺒﻭﻩﻤﺴﻨﱠﺔِ ﻭﺘﹰﺎ ﻓِﻲ ﺍﻟﹾﺠﻴﺩِﻱ ﺒﺒﻟِﻌ ﺩِﻤﺕﹶ ﺍﻟﹾﺤ ((. “If a child of [Allaah’s] slave dies, Allaah will say to His angels: You took My slave’s child. They will reply: Yes. He will then say: You took the love of his life23, and they will reply: Yes. He will then ask: What did My slave say? and they will reply: He praised you and said, ‘Surely, we belong to Allaah and to Him we will return.’ Allaah will then say: Build a house in paradise for My slave and call it the house of praise.”24 However, true patience for which Allaah’s promises reward is that which is practised when the calamity first strikes. The real test of patience is at the time of 21 Literally “we” known in English as the “majestic we” or the “royal we”, used by those of great importance. 22 surah al-Baqarah 2:155 23 Literally “the fruit of his heart”. 24 sahih Sunan at-Tirmithee, vol.1, pp.298-9, no.814.
the calamity. Being patient after the initial shock and reaction has worn off, is not considered real patience. َ ﻗﹶﺎلﻨﹾﻪ ﻋﻀِﻲ ﺍﻟﻠﱠﻪﺎﻟِﻙٍ ﺭﻥِ ﻤ ﺃَﻨﹶﺱِ ﺒﻥﻋ : ﺍﻟﻨﱠﺒِﻲﺭﻤ r ﺭٍ ﻓﹶﻘﹶﺎلَ ﻗﹶﺒﻜِﻲ ﻋِﻨﹾﺩﺃَﺓٍ ﺘﹶﺒﺭ ﺒِﺎﻤ : )) ﺍِﺘﱠﻘِﻲ ﺒِﺭِﻱ ﺍﺼ ﻭﺍﻟﻠﱠﻪ (( ﻗﹶﺎﻟﹶﺕﹾ : ﺍﻟﻨﱠﺒِﺎ ﺇِﻨﱠﻪ ﻓﹶﻘِﻴلَ ﻟﹶﻬﺭِﻓﹾﻪ ﺘﹶﻌﻟﹶﻡﺘِﻲ ﻭﺼِﻴﺒ ﺒِﻤﺏ ﺘﹸﺼ ﻟﹶﻡﻨﱢﻲ ﻓﹶﺈِﻨﱠﻙ ﻋﻙﺇِﻟﹶﻴ ﻲ r ﺍﻟﻨﱠﺒِﻲﺎﺏ ﻓﹶﺄَﺘﹶﺕﹾ ﺒ r ﻓﹶﻘﹶﺎﻟﹶﺕﹾﺍﺒِﻴﻥﻭ ﺒﻩ ﻋِﻨﹾﺩ ﺘﹶﺠِﺩ ﻓﹶﻠﹶﻡ : ﻓﹶﻘﹶﺎلَﺭِﻓﹾﻙ ﺃَﻋﻟﹶﻡ : )) ﻋِﻨﹾﺩﺭﺒﺎ ﺍﻟﺼﺇِﻨﱠﻤ ﺔِ ﺍﹾﻷُﻭﻟﹶﻰﻤﺩﺍﻟﺼ ((. Anas ibn Maalik related that once the Prophet (r) passed by a woman crying beside a grave and said to her, “Fear Allaah and be patient.” She replied, “Get away from me, for you haven’t been afflicted with my misfortune. And you don’t even know what it is!” Someone informed her that it was the Prophet (r) [and the news struck her like death.]25 She then ran to the Prophet’s (r) door - where she did not find any guard - and called out, “O Messenger of Allaah, verily I didn’t know it was you.” The Prophet (r) replied, “Verily patience is with the first shock.”26 Patience and self restraint at the death of children have especially great rewards because of the severity of their death on their parents. Aboo Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (r) said, )) َﻠﹸﻐﹸﻭﺍ ﺍﻟﹾﺤِﻨﹾﺙﹶ ﺇِﻻﱠ ﺃﺒ ﻴﻻﹶﺩٍ ﻟﹶﻡﺎ ﺜﹶﻼﹶﺜﹶﺔﹸ ﺃَﻭﻤﻨﹶﻬﻴﻭﺕﹸ ﺒﻤﻥِ ﻴﻴﻠِﻤﺴ ﻤﺎ ﻤِﻥﻤ لِ ﺒِﻔﹶﻀﺎ ﺍﻟﻠﱠﻪﻤﺨﹶﻠﹶﻬﺩ ﺨﹸﻠﹸﻭﺍ ﻘﹶﺎلُ ﺍﺩﺎﺅُﻨﹶﺎ ﻓﹶﻴﺨﹸلَ ﺁﺒﺩﺘﱠﻰ ﻴ ﺤﻘﹸﻭﻟﹸﻭﻥﻨﱠﺔﹶ ﻓﹶﻴﺨﹸﻠﹸﻭﺍ ﺍﻟﹾﺠ ﺍﺩﻡﻘﹶﺎلُ ﻟﹶﻬﻨﱠﺔﹶ ﻗﹶﺎلَ ﻴ ﺍﻟﹾﺠﻡﺎﻫﺘِﻪِ ﺇِﻴﻤﺤﺭ ﺎﺅُﻜﹸﻡﺁﺒ ﻭﻨﱠﺔﹶ ﺃَﻨﹾﺘﹸﻡﺍﻟﹾﺠ ((. “Allaah will put any two Muslims who have three children that die, before reaching maturity, in paradise along with them due to His mercy. 27 The children 25 This addition is in the narration of Sahih Muslim. 26 Sahih Al-Bukhari vol.2, p.208, no. 372, Sahih Muslim, vol.2, p.439, no.2013, Sunan Abu Dawud, vol.2, p.890 no.3118, Sunan Ibn-i-Majah, vol.2, p.446 no.1596 and Mishkat AlMasabih,, vol.1, p.361. The wording is from Sunan Ibn-i-Majah, vol.2, p.452, no.1605. 27Sahih Al-Bukhari vol.2, pp.192-3, nos. 340-2, Sahih Muslim, vol.4, pp.1384-5, nos.6365 & 6368.
will wait at the gates of paradise. When they are told to enter, they will reply, ‘Not until our two parents come.’ They will be told to enter paradise along with their parents by Allaah’s mercy.” 28 ِﻭلِ ﺍﻟﻠﱠﻪﺴ ﺭﻥﺜِﻲ ﻋﺩﺤﺎ ﺃَﻨﹾﺕﹶ ﻤﻨﹶﺎﻥِ ﻓﹶﻤ ﺍﺒﺎﺕﹶ ﻟِﻲ ﻤ ﻗﹶﺩﺓﹶ ﺇِﻨﱠﻪﺭﻴﺭ ﻗﹶﺎلَ ﻗﹸﻠﹾﺕﹸ ِﻷَﺒِﻲ ﻫﺎﻥﺴ ﺃَﺒِﻲ ﺤﻥﻋ rﻡﺘﹶﺎﻨﹶﺎ ﻗﹶﺎلَ ﻗﹶﺎلَ ﻨﹶﻌﻭ ﻤﻥﻨﹶﺎ ﻋ ﺒِﻪِ ﺃَﻨﹾﻔﹸﺴﺏﺩِﻴﺙٍ ﺘﹸﻁﹶﻴ ﺒِﺤ :)) ﺘﹶﻠﹶﻘﱠﻰ ﻨﱠﺔِ ﻴ ﺍﻟﹾﺠﺎﻤِﻴﺹﻋ ﺩﻡﻫﺼِﻐﹶﺎﺭ ﺃَﺤ ﻰ ﺘﹶﻨﹶﺎﻫﺫﹶﺍ ﻓﹶﻼﹶ ﻴ ﻫﺒِﻙﻨِﻔﹶﺔِ ﺜﹶﻭﺎ ﺁﺨﹸﺫﹸ ﺃَﻨﹶﺎ ﺒِﺼﺩِﻩِ ﻜﹶﻤ ﻗﹶﺎلَ ﺒِﻴﺒِﻪِ ﺃَﻭﺄْﺨﹸﺫﹸ ﺒِﺜﹶﻭﻪِ ﻓﹶﻴﻴﻭ ﻗﹶﺎلَ ﺃَﺒ ﺃَﻭﺎﻩ ﺃَﺒﻡﻫﺩ ﻨﱠﺔﹶ ﺍﻟﹾﺠﺎﻩﺃَﺒ ﻭ ﺍﻟﻠﱠﻪﺨِﻠﹶﻪﺩﺘﱠﻰ ﻴﻨﹾﺘﹶﻬِﻲ ﺤ ﻗﹶﺎلَ ﻓﹶﻼﹶ ﻴﺃَﻭ ((. Aboo Hassaan reported: “I said to Aboo Hurayrah that my two children had died. Would you narrate to me anything from Allaah’s Messenger (r) a hadith which would soothe our hearts in our bereavements ? He said: Yes. Small children are the fowls of paradise. If one of them meets his father,29 he would grab his garment,30 and he will not remove his hand from it until Allaah causes his father to enter paradise.”31 Allaah has promised a special additional reward for women who lose three children. Because she suffers even more than her husband when a child dies. It is she who carries the child within her for nine months, gives birth to him, nurses him, etc. If she is patient, she will be granted an even greater reward than her spouse. ِﻭلَ ﺍﻟﻠﱠﻪﺴ ﺭﺓﹶ ﺃَﻥﺭﻴﺭ ﺃَﺒِﻲ ﻫﻥﻋ r ﺎﺭِ ﺍﹾﻷَﻨﹾﺼﺓٍ ﻤِﻥﻭ ﻗﹶﺎلَ ﻟِﻨِﺴ : )) ﺜﹶﻼﹶﺜﹶﺔﹲ ﻤِﻥﺍﻜﹸﻥﺩﻭﺕﹸ ِﻹِﺤﻤ ﻻﹶ ﻴ ﻨﱠﺔﹶﺨﹶﻠﹶﺕِ ﺍﻟﹾﺠ ﺇِﻻﱠ ﺩﻪﺘﹶﺴِﺒﻟﹶﺩِ ﻓﹶﺘﹶﺤﺍﻟﹾﻭ (( ﻥﺃَﺓﹲ ﻤِﻨﹾﻬﺭﻓﹶﻘﹶﺎﻟﹶﺕِ ﺍﻤ : ﻭلَ ﺍﻟﻠﱠﻪِ؟ ﻗﹶﺎلَﺴﺎ ﺭﻥِ ﻴﺃَﻭِ ﺍﺜﹾﻨﹶﻴ ) : ) ﺃَﻭِ ﻥِﺍﺜﹾﻨﹶﻴ ((. Aboo Hurayrah quoted the Messenger of Allaah (r) as saying to a group of Ansaaree women, “Any woman who has three children that die will be shielded 28 sahih Sunan an-Nasaa’ee vol.2, p.405 no.1770. 29 The narrator added, “or he demonstrated with his hand saying: the way I take hold of the hem of your garment.” 30 The narrator added, “or he said: his parents”. 31 Sahih Muslim, vol.4, p.1385 no.6370.
by them from the Hellfire.” When a woman asked about two children, he replied that would also shield her.32