8. Be responsible

Do not blame others for your own mistakes: stop looking for answers outside yourself. Look within you, you will find the right answers. Acknowledge that you are responsible for what you choose to feel or think and that you are solely responsible for the choices in your life, so you cannot make excuses and blame others for the choices you have made. Be confident of your talents, strengths and abilities. Develop a positive, self-affirming personality, believe in yourself, but do not be over-confident. We are all human, we can all make mistakes. Admit your points of weakness; learn from them and try to correct them. This attitude protects and nurtures both your physical health and your emotional wellbeing. Allah(~ ) says in the Quran: ~Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allah, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself.. ) (Quran 4: 79) He also says: ~Verily Allah will not deal unjustly with people in anything: it is people who wrong their own souls) (Quran JO: 44) ., '1"· ~~ ~.~ ('I"'. : S.>_,...!JI •_;.,......) ~And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned .. ) (Quran 42: 30) Your life is your choice; it is not what happens that matters, but how you choose to respond to it. In his book Who moved my cheese? Dr. Spencer Johnson gives the analogy of two rats and two tiny people living in a maze. When the rats fail to get their piece of cheese, they try again a different way; in contrast, the two men sit in their places, blaming others for their failure and waiting for their cheese to return !7 1 Let go of reproach and animosity toward everyone, even towards the ones who once harmed you, abused your feelings or caused you distress. You cannot waste your time blaming bacteria for making you sick: what you can do is to learn the lessons and heed the warnings they bring. If you do not accept personal responsibility, you risk developing a permanent hateful, repugnant, and indignant attitude towards everyone around you. You will become overly dependent on others for praise, endorsement, support, and acceptance. You will feel endless self-pity, low self-esteem, chronic disability and depression. Being responsible also involves being committed. Commitment means devoting yourself to something and sticking to your plan of choice. Try again and again; do not accept failure. It is up to you alone to change your failure to success. Remember Allah ' s words: ., ~®" ... s, , ( \ \ : ..!.s-)1 •_;.,.....) { .. Verily Allah will never change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves .. ) (Quran 13: ll) Take the first step and Allah will guide your way: 71 Johnson, 1999. ~To those who do right is a goodly [reward], Yes, even more [than in measure]!..) (Quran 10: 26) Finish what you have started, care about what you are doing. Always do your best, even if it takes extra time and effort. Doing things right gives you a good feeling about yourself. Prophet Muhammad (~ ) said: «Allah likes when one of you does a job, that he perfects it.» 72