13. Do not worry

Imam Dhahabi wrote: "Whoever worries too much sickens his body." 105 Apprehension, anxiety, and woe are literally intoxicating our bodies. When you worry and grieve, your body tends to secrete more adrenalin neurotransmitter under the commands of the sympathetic nervous system; this is called the 'fight, flight and fright' hormone. This hormone is secreted when facing danger to prepare the body for self defence; it prepares the body to respond and cope promptly and vigorously to life-threatening situations. Your body does not differentiate between the nervousness and worry resulting from an attacking hungry leopard, or that caused by every day life stresses. It responds by secreting the same type of hormones that could prepare your body for a rapid flight from the approaching danger. 106 If a leopard was actually there, the energy and effort you would consume while running for your life would dissipate the secreted hormones, and their levels in your blood would eventually normalize again.

But you are not running away from a leopard, are you? You are just sitting on your living room sofa, fretting. When living under continuous stress and worry - working overtime or without breaks, fussing about every event, and always expecting the worst, your sympathetic nervous system is continuously generating its stress hormones. Any unused hormones are then circulating in your system, generating a big mess: decreased activity of the digestive tract, increased blood sugar level, increased rate and force of your heartbeat and elevated blood pressure, just to start with. 105 Dhahabi, (($."".UI i:,~ er. c,r...lll ~ <lll ~ y.\), 2004. 106 Holford, 2005a. As mentioned in Chapter Three, another toxic effect of continuous worry and stress is the overproduction of certain steroidal hormones such as cortisol.

These hormones are naturally secreted to help your body to reduce inflammation and resist long term stress. The constant high level of these hormones may lead to hyperglycaemia (a rise in blood sugar level), hypertension, the breakdown of body fats and proteins, weakening of the bones and suppression of the immune system. In addition, some studies have found that excess cortisol damages your brain by its destructive effect on the neuro-connectors or dendrites (the branches connecting brain cells together). 107 The solution for worry and stress is taught to us repeatedly in the Quran and the Sunnah. Allah teaches us that fearing nothing and no one but Allah and detaching oneself from materialistic, worldly thoughts will free your mind by allowing you to remember that nothing in this life can last forever, that what may seem to you today to be an unsolvable problem will soon pass and fade away. ~Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children, as the likeness of vegetation after rain, thereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller; afterwards it dries up and you see it turning yellow; then it becomes straw) (Quran 57: 20) We have to concentrate on what is truly important, on our main goal in life: to attain Allah's pleasure and approval, to work for 107 Holford, 2005b. an eternal happiness in Paradise. Prophet Muhammad (~) said: «Whoever's main concern is this worldly existence, Allah will bring his poverty between his eyes and disperse his union, and what will reach him from this world is only what is predestined for him.

And whoever's main concern is the Hereafter, Allah will put wealth and prosperity into his heart and gather his union, and the world will be driven to him.» 108 The Messenger of Allah (~ ) also said: «Whoever makes his concern only one (that of the Hereafter), Allah will make him content with (his share in this) worldly life; but whoever is surmounted by worries, Allah would not bother in which worldly valley he might perish.» 109 The cure for sadness, worry and grief comes from true dependence on Allah, and from admitting that Allah is the Most Just, thus what comes about through His Will certainly holds a lesson, a mercy that although we might not see it at the present moment, will reveal itself in due course. The Qur' an should be our comfort, our relief and our true companion at all times, and especially in times of distress. Performing prayers, supplication and repentance to Allah are also potent cures that help us to discard worries. Ibn al-Qayyim recommended, "Whenever sadness and grief intensify on someone, let him repeat often: 'There is neither power nor strength except from Allah (la !Jaw/a wa la quwwata illa billah).'" This is the supplication of those afflicted by distress: "O Allah, I seek Your Mercy. Do not make me reliant on my own self even for an instant, and lead all my affairs to success.

There is none 108 Tirmidhi (Albani said that it had a weak chain, but that its correlation with the Hadith was good). 109 I:Iakim (a good hadith). worthy of worship other than You (Allahumma ra]:imataka arjoo, fa la takalnee ila nafsee tmfata 'ayn, wa a~li]:i lee sha 'nee kullah, la ilaha illa anta.)" 110 He (~) also said: «Whenever sadness or grief strikes someone he should say: "O Allah! I am your servant, the son of your servants. My forelock is in Your grasp. Your decision about me will certainly come to pass. Your judgment on me is certainly just.

I ask you by every Name that is Yours and by which You call Yourself, whether You revealed it in Your Book, taught it to someone of Your creation or kept it in the Knowledge of the Unseen that You have. Make the Quran the spring of my heart, the light of my chest, the eliminator of my sadness and the end of my grief (Allahumma innee 'abduka. ibnu 'abdika, ibnu amatika. Na~iyatee bi yadika, ma(j,infiyya J:iukmuk, 'adlunfiyya qa(j,a'uk. As'aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka, aw anzaltahu fee kitabika, aw 'allamtahu a]:iadan min khalqika, aw ista 'tharta bihi fee 'ilm ilghaybi 'indaka, an taj'al al-Qur'and a rabee'a qalbee, wa noora ~adree, wa jala'a J:iuznee wa dhahaba hammee)." Then Allah will remove his sadness and depression and will replace them with joy.» 111 In Chapter 70 of the Quran Allah (~) describes human beings in this way: ~ 8 l~t. J ® (J; ~\ ~ l~t ® ~;Go ~ ~ii t1 •)> cn-,o. :c)L......J1 .)_,....,) ~® ~J..:: ~Truly humans were created very impatient; fretful when evil touches them; and grudging when good touches them) (Quran 70: 19-21) 110 Abu Dawood and Al_imed, authenticated by Albani. ui Al_imed, authenticated by Albani.

Allah makes an exception; in this same surah He gives us a Divine prescription for the treatment of impatience, anxiety and worries: Prayers: ('l"l"-n : c_J L..-.llo_;_,.....,) ~Not so those devoted to Prayer: those who remain constant in their prayers) (Quran 70: 22-23) Charity: ('I' 0-'f i : c_J L..-JI oJ_,.....,) ~And those in whose wealth is a recognized right; for the [needy] who asks and him who is prevented [for some reason from asking].~ (Quran 70: 24-25) Belief in the Hereafter: ( n : c_J L..-.ll OJ_,....,) ~@ ~]I !Y.~ ~)~ ~Jt, ~And those who hold to the truth of the Day of Judgment) (Quran 70: 26) Fear from and faith in Allah: ('l'A-'fV :c_JL..-.ll o_;_,.....,) ~And those who fear the punishment of Allah, for Allah's punishment is not a thing to feel secure from) (Quran 70: 27-28) ('f\-'l'Q, :CJ \.;,._J\ OJ_,....) ~And those who guard their chastity, except with their wives and the [captives] whom their right hands possess, for [then] they are not to be blamed, but those who trespass beyond this are transgressors ) (Qur 'an 70: 29-31) Good manners and honesty: ('r"r - n : C J \.;,._J\ OJ..,....> ~And those who respect their trusts and covenants. And those who stand firm in their testimonies ) (Quran 70: 32-33) Strong religious beliefs: (n : C J \.;,._J\ OJ_,....) ,£~~ "'t~ ·~ \ ~ \!> Y' ~ ~And those who [strictly] guard their worship) (Quran 70: 22) These are indeed the seven characteristics that are guaranteed to bring success in this life as well as in the Hereafter. 14. Surrender to Allah's will A friend of mine once sent me this story about a butterfly struggling for its life: "One day, a small opening appeared in a cocoon; a man sat and watched for the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then, it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could not go any further; so the man decided to help the butterfly: he took a pair of scissors and opened the cocoon.

The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a withered body; it was tiny with shrivelled wings. The man continued to watch because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would open, enlarge and expand, to be able to support the butterfly's body, and become firm. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a withered body and shrivelled wings.

It was never able to fly. What the man in his kindness and his goodwill did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening, were Allah's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as we could have been." 112 Sometimes the little inconveniences and obstacles in our lives are Allah's lessons to give us strength and wisdom.

Calamities and afflictions are part of our big life test; contained within them are valuable guidance and wisdom. Sickness and loss are favours from Allah that wipe away our sins, so that we revert to Him with a pure, loving heart. Sometimes, during our sorrows and frustrations, we 112 This anecdote, along with several others related in this book, is one of many such stories circulating via email. The author is unknown to me, and I hope I am excused for using it as an illustrative example. mistakenly think that our prayers are not answered; we assume that we have nothing. No, think again: we have it all.

Reliance on Allah means to entrust your affairs to Him and to fully believe in Him, in His All-encompassing Power and Wisdom and in His Kindness and Mercy. Allah (~) says: ~Say, 'In Whose Hand is the sovereignty of everything? And He protects [all], while against Whom there is no protector, [if Allah saves anyone none can punish or harm him, and if Allah punishes or harms anyone none can save him], if you know.'~ (Qur 'an 23: 88) Some people think that depending on Allah means giving up work, earnings, actions and efforts. This is totally unlawful in Islamic Shariah (law). Muslims ought to work, seek knowledge and adopt the most praiseworthy means of attaining a successful and prosperous life.

Ghazali the Elder narrated this story of a man who went on a journey carrying only a loaf of bread. He was afraid to eat it and leave no food reserve for the rest of his voyage. He kept telling himself: "If I eat it, I will die." Allah entrusted an angel to him, saying, "If he eats it, give him more provision ." The man never ate his loaf; it lay there before him at the time of his death. 11 3 This man planned his journey and thought out his means, but forgot to rely on his Allah. However endowed with knowledge and 113 Ghaziili the Elder, (Jl_;.ll ..!...> ..l4l>- (,;i), 2004. . -· experience, we cannot predict our fate. A stage comes in life when all that is humanly possible has been done, yet the results cannot be anticipated.

At that time, you leave everything to Allah and make your will conform to the Divine Will. Allah only knows what the final outcome is to be, and as He (~) says in the Qur' an: ":!,: t:£ i~ ~ ., ,,,,n / .> / .r" _,A.) " ~ u ~.J ~.w »•,: ~ ..)AJ /.>,/ r~·~ " ;->:<<: .J _,,,,,, ).. ~J'-' I.) ~.J ... 'T (T\i :o~ I •.>>-) ~® 0;:i·:.1 ;.0; p·~ ~t ~ ~--· And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know) (Qur 'an 2: 216) This is what is sometimes called 'synchronicity'; 114 that is, the willingness to believe in the Divine Power and Wisdom that supports and controls all creatures and all creation, allowing the whole universe to work in perfect harmony. There is a supplication that Prophet Muhammad (~ ) taught us, it reminds us about the necessity of surrendering to Allah's will, to work and plan, but let Allah shows us the correct path: «0 Allah!

I submit myself to You and entrust my affairs to You and I tum my face towards You and my hope and fear is of You. Verily, there is neither refuge nor safe haven from You except with You. I believe in Your Book which You have revealed and in Your Prophet whom You have sent (Allahumma aslamtu nafsee ilayk, wa fawwaq,tu amree ilayk, wa wajjahtu wajhee ilayk, wa alja 'tu dhahree ilayk, raghbatan wa rahbatan ilayk, la malja'a wa la manja minka ilia ilayk, amantu bikitabika alladhee anzalta wa binabiyyika alladhee arsalt. )» 115 11 4 Dyer, 1990. 11 5 Bukhari and Muslim. Prophet Muhammad (~) told us: «If you put your trust in Allah as properly as it should be, He would bestow upon you as He provides for the bird; they leave early in the morning with an empty stomach and return full.» 116 Allah says in the Qur' an: (H'-'1"1' : ~~ilJ1 •_;_.,....) ~And in the heaven is your prov1s1on, and that which you are promised. Then, by the Owner of the sky and the earth, it is the truth [i.e., what has been promised to you], just as it is the truth that you can speak) (Quran 51: 22-23) I remember the story of a friend of mine who had just got divorced from an abusive husband.

She was now a single mother with two little kids, in a foreign country with no house, no money, no job, nothing. A year earlier she had invested all her savings to buy an apartment in a project that had not even started yet. Her residence visa was expiring in few days' time while she was trying desperately to sell this apartment so that she could afford airfare back home to try to make a new start to a decent life. She was just running out of time, with no hope in sight, and she started to panic. I did not know how to help her; I gave her a copy of Shaykh 'Aiq al-Qami's book Don't be Sad, a valuable practical guide on how to have an ultimately satisfying Islamic outlook on life and how to effectively deal with everyday trials and tribulations in our lives. 117 The next morning she came to me announcing that she had booked her trip back home in a week's time.

In the book, she said, 11 6 Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and Al.uned (a sound hadith). 117 Qami, 2005. Shaykh 'Ai<;l advises that if you are struck with a calamity, sit down and analyse your situation wisely, then devise some plans: Plan A, an alternative Plan B and then C, and start implementing them right away. Do your best and leave the rest to Allah, do not think of the results, be sure that Allah knows the best and will help you out. My friend called all the real estate agents she knew, she started looking for housing and schools for her kids in her hometown through the Internet; she worked day and night and did all that was humanly possible. The week passed by with no incoming results.

She came to my house on her last day in the country telling me that she was completely satisfied with what she had achieved: she knew that she tried her best and if the apartment was not sold, it was just not meant to be. She knew deep inside that Allah knows what is best for her. I was astonished by her total surrender, deep satisfaction and faith. Then, the telephone rang, it was the real estate agent announcing that he had found a buyer for an unexpectedly high price; and another phone call followed from a friend of hers announcing that she arranged for a good place to stay and friends to help her in her new life start. All was solved in a blink of an eye!

SublJ,an Allah! We all know the story of Prophet lbraheem when he was given Allah's order to sacrifice his beloved young son Isma'eel, and how Allah ransomed him with a momentous sacrifice, the ram. We may not have noticed when this ransom was delivered to them, however. Allah (~ ) tells us: 1':1 SL," ,-:!(I -'!-::" •,:: ~ ) -·1.:- t >" •""' ~ ... " 11 ) : n 1"1·~11•1~::l,... \.J~ - S,, ..;.!..I.,., ..u ~ ~Y.~ ..:,1 ~_..6J ~ ~ A).:iJ I.M.,..ol 1....1.9,., ~ 1." ~+;. ~-\b ~ ~\ \WI _,."'1 lh ).;./// ~ /.; / > / •• ,,.;•, ~ '.'.?' .:2.il ~ ~ \ i..>? ~::C >., / / ( \ • V- \ • '1" : ..:..,l,;G,]I ".Jr") ~@ ~Then, when they had both submitted themselves [to the Will of Allah], and he had laid him prostrate on his forehead [or on the side of his forehead for slaughtering]; We called out to him, 'O lbraheem!

You have fulfilled the dream [vision]!' Verily! Thus do We.reward the doers of good. Verily, that indeed was a manifest trial. And We ransomed him with a great sacrifice) (Quran 37: 103-107) After they fulfilled Allah's order, they totally surrendered and 'submitted' to the will of Allah! This is the point to stress here: Allah knows best, do what you can then totally surrender to His Will.

Surrendering to Allah involves two important features: 118 •!• Maintaining your patience and forbearance under all circumstances, without getting stressed, worried or depressed. •!• Remaining content and satisfied with whatever is destined for you and making your will conform to the Divine Will with total acceptance, trust and faith. True surrender to Allah's will is only achieved through strong belief in Allah. It helps to recognise and understand the meanings of His Names and Attributes. Allah (~) says: ~ ~~ (® ~ ~ ~ l> J1 ® ~1 j>~I J Jj~~ (n•-'l'\V :.1~1 •Jr) , ~~ _::_.wr .vt:~ •; b:J1 ~ :11 ~ J~I •; ~ !,, ~ •;:-- ~And put your trust in the All-Mighty, the Most Merciful, Who sees you [0 Muhammad] when you stand up [alone at night for tahajjud prayers], and your movements among those who fall prostrate [along with you to Allah in the five compulsory congregational prayers). Verily!

He, only He, is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower) (Quran 26: 217-220) 118 Ghaziili the Elder, 2001. (At : __,..;y. •_;_,....) ~And Moosa [Moses] said, 'O my people! If you have believed in Allah, then put your trust in Him if you are Muslims [those who submit to Allah's Will].'~ (Quran 10: 84) Only with true reliance on Allah can you achieve peace of mind. By relying on Allah, we pass the stage of entrusting all our affairs to Him from a consideration of His Power and Compassion to reach a stage of complete dependence: relying on Him as the infant relies on its mother, knowing no one except her. 119 Allah(~) says: ~ .),,,. _,,,,,. / /~}~") // ,....,,,.,,..,, / .,,,,,,.,,.,,,,,, ,.., ">"" / / />~, >}._ ~.J ~L:..3 ~ ~ 1 tP-' {L:.:i .r ~ 1 ~_;; ~ 14 ~ 1 .Jir .,i{.,_ ..:::•:-.: }} / / .. .;~ // /,: ..,.,...... ,,., /. / .. -_,..,..,,,. / }_ .; }/ _,,,,,,,, / @ ~ J:, J..~ t:P ~ ~ cl:.; ~\ .!I~;. "..\..:.:..i ..r J~.., ~l:-3 ..r (n :.:.,1~ Ji._;_,...) ~Say [0 Muhammad], 'O Allah!

Possessor of the kingdom, You give the kingdom to whom You will, and You take the kingdom from whom You will, and You endue with honour whom You will, and You humiliate whom You will. In Your Hand is all good. Verily, You are Able to do all things.') (Quran 3: 26) (it-i'I" : iL,..;~1 •_;..,....) ~® 0~ ~Say (0 Muhammad], 'Who rescues you from the darkness of the land and the sea [dangers like storms], when you call upon Him in humility and in secret [saying], 'If He [Allah] only saves us from this 119 Ghazfili the Elder, 2001. [danger], we shall truly be grateful.' Say [0 Muhammad], 'Allah rescues you from it and from all [other] distresses, and yet you worship others besides Allah'.'~ (Qur' an 6: 63-64)