Part 18

5] This is chapter 64, from the Book of Aadaab.

Chapter - 6 The Etiquettes Of The Host And The Guest 115

The Etiquettes Of The Host And The Guest

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“Has the story reached you, of the honored guests [three angels; Jibreel (Gabriel) along with another two] of Ibraaheem (Abraham)? When they came in to him, and said, ‘Salam (peace be upon you)! He answered, ‘Salam (peace be upon you), and said: “You are a people unknown to me.” Then he turned to his household, so brought out a roasted calf [as the property of Ibraheem (Abraham) was mainly cows], and placed it before them, (saying): “Will you not eat?” (Qur‘an 51:24-27)

The Prophet # said,

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“Whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, then let him not harm his neighbor. Whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, then let him honor his guest. And whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, then let him speak well or remain silent,"

") Related by Bukhaaree (6018), Muslim (47), Ahmad (7571), At-Tirmidhee (1188), and Ad-Daarimee (2222).

The Manners Of Being A Host Or A Guest

1) Accepting And Answering An Invitation

In many authentic Ahadeeth, it is made clear that it is compulsory to answer and accept an invitation. For example, the Prophet said,

“The Muslim has five rights upon [another] Muslim: answering ‘As-Salaam,’ visiting the sick, following funeral [processions],

answering an invitation, and saying ‘Yarhamukallah (may Allah have mercy upon you)’ to one who sneezes.”!7!

And in another hadith, he #% said, “Answer this invitation when you are invited.

At the end of this narration, it is mentioned that, “Abdullah [Ibn ‘Umar] 4 would go to a place of invitation for a wedding and for other than a wedding, [even] while he would be fasting.”

The opinion of the majority of scholars is that it is recommended to accept all invitations, with the exception of a marriage banquet, which is compulsory for the invitee to accept. To prove that accepting an invitation for a marriage banquet is compulsory, they cite this hadith:

1] Related by Bukhaaree (1240), Muslim (2162), Ahmad (27511), AtTirmidhee (2737), An-Nassaaee (1938), Abu Daawood (5030), and Ibn Maajah (1435)

') Related by Bukhaaree (5179), Muslim (1429), At-Tirmidhee (1098), Abu Daawood (3736), Ibn Maajah (1914), Maalik (1159), and Ad-Daarimee

Chapter - 6 The Etiquettes Of The Host And The Guest 117

“The worst of food is the food of a marriage banquet: the rich are invited to it and the poor are forsaken. And whoever leaves an invitation (i.e., doesn’t accept it) has indeed disobeyed Allah and His Messenger 3.""")

d the following wording is related in some narrations from luslim and others:

oul 35 Wi ks Gol Ys yn “Those who come to it are prevented from it, and those who are invited to it refuse to come.”

Nonetheless, some scholars have listed conditions which must be ia for a Muslim to attend any gathering to which he is

invited; Shaikh Muhammad Ibn Saaleh Al-Uthaimeen listed them as follows:

3 1) When it is compulsory or Sunnah for Muslims to cut off all ties with a person, and when that person invites you, you shouldn’t accept his invitation.

The place of invitation must not contain any evil in it. If there is evil - such as music being played - and if you are able to remove the evil (for example, you have the authority to turn the tape player off), then you must attend the gathering, for two reasons: first, to answer the invitation, and second, to remove the evil. But if you are not able to remove the evil, then it becomes forbidden for you to attend.

The inviter should be Muslim; otherwise, it is not compulsory to accept his invitation. This is because the Prophet # said,

Related by Bukhaaree (5177), Muslim (1432), Ahmad (10040), Abu 2*\Daawood (3742), Ibn Maajah (1913), Maalik (1160), and Ad-Daarimee

The Book Of Manners

“The rights of a Muslim upon another Muslim are six...” And among those rights,

Question: Do invitation cards take on the same ruling as direct, verbal invitations?

Answer: If invitation cards are sent to everyone in a community, whereby the sender does not know exactly who the cards are being sent to, then it is not compulsory to accept the invitation. If,

af MKS bp “When he invites you, then answer him (ie., accept his invitation).”” The inviter must not derive his income from unlawful sources, for if you accept his invitation, that means you will eat unlawfully acquired food, which is forbidden. Other scholars, however, maintain that the sin of unlawfully derived wealth is upon the one who acquired that wealth, and not on the one who takes it from him through lawful means. Of course, this view does not. apply to things that are Haram in themselves, such as alcohol, stolen items, and so on. And this latter view is well reasoned. Answering an invitation does not involve you forsaking | another duty that is compulsory or that is more important than the invitation. If answering an invitation | involves any of that, it becomes forbidden upon you to. answer it. Answering an invitation must not involve any harm: upon you as the invitee; this occurs, for example, when answering an invitation requires you to travel and leave behind family members that are in need of your presence among them. The inviter knowingly and specifically invites you; otherwise, if the inviter issues a general invitation for everyone in a community, for instance, then you do not have to answer his invitation.

| Chapter - 6 The Etiquettes Of The Host And The Guest 119

ton other hand, you are sure or almost sure that the inviter meant you specifically by the invitation - for example, you know him fand he put your name on the card - then the ruling for a direct, lverbal invitation applies."

‘Related Issue: Just because you are fasting does not mean that you are excused from having to accept an invitation; to the ‘contrary, you must go, and though you do not necessarily have fto eat, you should invoke Allah 8% to forgive and bless your thosts. This ruling applies for both compulsory and voluntary fasts. The Messenger of Allah # said,

“If one of you is invited, then let him answer (i.e., attend), and if he is fasting, he should pray (the meaning of prayer here, as explained in the following narration, is to supplicate — for the hosts); and if he is not fasting, he should eat.’"

The following is the wording of Ahmad’s narration: ‘And if he is fasting, then he should pray - i.e., supplicate. 3)

Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudree said, “Food was prepared for the ' Prophet 3, and when it was laid down, a man said, ‘I am | fasting.’ The Messenger of Allah 2% then said,

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“Your brother invited you and troubled himself for you; eat and fast [another day] in its place if you wish.’")

1 Shaikh Ibn ‘Uthaimeen issued this ruling in Qaul-Al-Mufeed ‘Ala-Kitaab At-tawhid.

Pl Muslim (1431), Ahmad (7691), At-Tirmidhee (780), and Abu Daawood

" Tbn Hajr said, “Ismaa’eel Ibn Abee Uwais related it from his father from Muhammad Ibn Munkadir..., and its chain is Hasan.” (Al-Fath (4/182). And Al-Albaanee said, “Hasan. Al-Baihagee related it (4/279).” Refer to Ab-lrwaa Al-Ghaleel (7/11) hadith # 1952

2) It Is Compulsory To Honor One’s Guest

Various authentic Ahadeeth encourage a Muslim to be generous ; to his guest and establish without a doubt that it is compulsory for him, as a host, to honor him. ‘Uqbah Ibn ‘Aamir said, “We said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, you did indeed send us; then, when we reached the people, they did not receive us as their guests. What, then, do you see [that we should do]?’ The Messenger of

“Tf you arrive at the place of a people and they order for you what a guest should receive, then accept [that from them]. But if they do not do so, then take from them what a guest rightfully deserves.’"")

This wording is from At-Tirmidhee’s narration: ‘If they refuse’ that you should take other than forcibly, then take.” And in another hadith, the Prophet 2 said,

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“A guest is entertained for three days, and his Jaaizah is for a day and night (In explaining this phrase, scholars have said that a "I Related by Bukhaaree (6137), Muslim (1727), Ahmad (16894), At] Tirmidhee (1589), Abu Daawood (3752), and Ibn Maajah (3676).

Chapter - 6 The Etiquettes Of The Host And The Guest 121 host should be extra generous on the first night, and then should give his guest, on the second and third night, what he normally has himself). And it is not permissible for a Muslim to stay with his brother (for more than three days) to the degree that he makes him sin.”

The Companions 4 said, ““O Messenger of Allah, and how does he make him sin?” He #% said,

“He stays with him, and he (the host) has nothing to entertain him with (so the host might end up backbiting his guest or saying bad things about him).”"")

Concerning the significance and merits of entertaining guests, An-Nawawee mentioned that scholars are in agreement; he then went on to say that scholars disagree about whether it is compulsory or Sunnah to entertain guests [when they arrive from another area]. Maalik, Ash-Shaafi’ee, and Abu Haneefah - these hold that it is Sunnah and not compulsory to entertain guests; they likened Ahadeeth that discuss entertaining guests to other similar Ahadeeth, which apparently suggest the meaning of ‘compulsory’ but really convey a meaning of ‘less than compulsory,’ such as the hadith, “Taking a shower on Friday is binding upon everyone who is past the age of puberty.” AlLaith and Ahmad, on the other hand, are of the opinion that it is compulsory to entertain a guest for at least one day and one night. And Ahmad limited that ruling t-: the people of the desert and of villages as opposed to city dweilers.