Part 71

"1 Related by Muslim from the hadith of Abu Hurairah 4 (2699). These compilers related it as well: Ahmad (7379), At-Tirmidhee (1325), Abu Daawood (4946), and Ibn Maajah (225).

reported that the Messenger of Allah # said,

“No one shows humbleness for Allah except that He (Allah 3&) raises him,"

A person is indeed blessed if Allah 3¢ attires him with the raiment of good manners. When a person is known for his good manners, people speak well of him and his status is raised among them. A smiling face, patience in the face of hardship, holding back anger - these and other noble qualities combine to make up the definition of ‘good manners.’ Ibn Mansoor said, “I asked Abu ‘Abdullah about good manners, and he said, ‘For you to not flare up in rage, nor even to become angry...” Giving another definition of good manners, Ishaaq Ibn Raahawiyyah said, “It is to have a cheerful face, to not become angry, and other similar qualities.”

To be sure, the best of people are those that have the best manners. The Prophet #%, who had the best of manners, said,

“The best among you is the best among you in manners,’”! This is one of the supplications the Prophet # would make to begin his prayer:

“Guide me to the best of characters for none can guide to it

other than You, and deliver me from the worst of characters for none can deliver me from it other than You..."

" Related by Muslim (2588), Ahmad (8782), At-Tirmidhee (2029), Maalik (1885), and Ad-Daarimee (1676).

@ Related by Bukhaaree (6035), Ahmad (6468), and At-Tirmidhee (1975).

If you have a noble character, people will love you and desire your company and find comfort in your talk. Conversely, a person who has bad manners will be boring in his talk; his company will repel others, and when others are in his company, they will feel uncomfortable and annoyed by his very presence. It is related that Al-Fudail Ibn ‘Iyaadh said, “When a person’s character is bad, then also bad (and poor) is his practice of the religion, his status, and his share of love [among the people].”

Good manners play an important role in relationships among brothers. When two brothers have good manners, their hearts will become united and all malice will be emptied from their hearts. They will then meet each other with smiling faces, and they will choose the best of conversation for their meetings; they will avoid base talk, and when one of them makes a mistake, the other will find an excuse for him.'!

8) Having A Heart That Is Free From Rancor, Grudge, And Enmity This is from the Prophet's supplications:

“And remove the rancor of my heart.”

And in the narration of At-Tirmidhee, ‘And remove the rancor of my breast.”"7] Few are those who are free from feelings of rancor and malice — few because it is difficult for a person to give up his rights to others. If you manage to meet the wrongdoing and ignorance and transgression of others with a pure heart that is free of malice, if you manage not to reciprocate their evil with another evil, and if you manage not to hate them for the wrong they did to you, then you have reached a very high level of nobility and goodness in your character. Though few are they

") There is much more to be said about good manners, but we will suffice with what we mentioned since the scope of this work is of course limited.

"1 Abu Daawood related it from the hadith of Ibn ‘Abbaas & (1510); AlAlbaanee gave a ‘sahih’ grade to his narration of the hadith. These compilers related it as well: Ahmad (1998), At-Tirmidhee (3551), and Ibn Maajah (3830).

that reach that level, it is made easy for people when Allah 3¢ makes it easy upon them. Abu Hurairah # reported that the Messenger of Allah #% said,

“The believer is Ghirr (one who is not deceptive by nature, and one who is deceived because of his kind disposition and noble

character) and noble; the evildoer is Khibb (clever and deceptive, always looking for ways to deceive people) and ignoble.’"

A believer is praiseworthy in this sense not because he is ignorant or stupid, but because he possesses a noble character: he is ingenuous by nature and does not try to search out for evil or deceptive means to achieve his ends. People are able to deceive him because, being good, he gives others the benefit of the doubt, and he has a heart that is free from rancor and malice. The evildoer, on the other hand is, “Khibb and ignoble,” which means that he is miserly and deceptive, and that he possesses an evil character.

9) Having Good Thoughts About One’s Brothers And Not Spying On Them

You should have good thoughts about your Muslim brothers. When they make a mistake, give them the benefit of the doubt; and when they say something you don’t like, interpret their words in such a way that reflects best on their character. We have been forbidden from Adh-Dhan, which literally means suspicion, and which we will explain in more detail shortly. Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah 2% said,

bydedl A AESS “Beware of Adh-Dhan (suspicion), for indeed, Adh-Dhan is the most false of speech. Do not follow up on the [private] affairs of

'] Related by At-Tirmidhee (1964) and Abu Daawood (4790), and AlAlbaanee said, “Hasan.”

others and do not spy [on others]...”"")

We said that Adh-Dhan means suspicion, and the Prophet #¢ explained that Adh-Dhan is the most false of speech, but what level of suspicion is this referring to? And what does Adh-Dhan mean in the context of the prohibition? Al-Khattaabee said, “It refers not to thoughts that wander ina person’s mind, for a person does not have control over such thoughts; instead, it refers to when suspicion becomes a stable reality and when one give credence to his suspicions.” The suspicion or Adh-Dhan that is prohibited, then, is that suspicion that continues to thrive in a person’s heart until it becomes stable there. This does not include the suspicion that, like a notion, comes and then goes, gaining no stability in a person’s heart. We have hitherto related this hadith: “Allah Ta’aalah (the Exalted) pardons what the [people of] this Nation say [in their souls] as long as they do not [orally] speak [of what passes in their minds and souls] or set out to realize [what they think].” And we previously mentioned that this refers to thoughts that come and then go and that find no stability in a person’s heart and mind. In giving a slightly different definition to Adh-Dhan, Al-Qurtubee said, ‘‘The meaning of Adh-Dhan here is an accusation that has no cause (basis) to it.” This occurs, for example, when a person accuses a man of Al-Faahishah (illegal sexual intercourse, etc.) without any indications of that evil being present on him. And that is why the Prophet #%, said, “And do not spy,” after he #% said, ‘Beware of Adh-Dhan.” A person first develops the idea of a suspicion or accusation in his mind, and then he sets out to spy, in order to see if he was right; and both Adh-Dhan and spying are forbidden. The above-mentioned hadith corresponds to the saying of Allah 3&:

baer seg ce ge By eat ce eae ee ve KES EGU YG gt Se xy gait & I

'] Related by Bukhaaree (5144), Muslim (2563), Ahmad (27334), AtTirmidhee (1988), Abu Daawood (4917), and Maalik (1684).

“Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another.”’ (Quran 49:12)

The context and phrasing of the verse show how important it is to protect the honor of one’s fellow Muslim. First, Allah 3 mentioned the prohibition of Adh-Dhan (suspicion). But then if a person is suspicious about someone else and says, “I will search out and see if what I think is true,” it should be said to him,

fis 5 KES EG “Neither backbite one another.”

Related Issue: One of the ways to have good thoughts about your brother is to give him the benefit of the doubt. If some of his words are conveyed to you, and if you are not pleased with those words, interpret them in the best possible way, in the way that reflects best on his character. Search out for an excuse and say, “Perhaps he really meant such and such or such and such,” and continue doing so until you run out of excuses for him.

10) Forgiving Others Their Mistakes And Controlling One’s Anger When you mix with other people, among you there is sure to occur some misunderstandings and even wrongdoing and transgression, either in speech or in deed. If you are wronged, you should control your anger and forgive the person who wronged you. Allah 3& said:

4D UK BE OS SoSH Al ES GE Ud

“And those who avoid the greater sins, and Al-Fawaahishah (illegal sexual intercourse, etc.), and when they are angry, they forgive.” (Quran 42:37)

And Allah 3 said:

“..who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinoon (the good-doers)”’ (Quran 3:134)

“Who repress anger” refers to people who are wronged by others, who should naturally be angry as a result, who should naturally desire to seek retribution in speech or in deed, but who do not act according to their natural inclinations; instead, they repress the anger that is in their hearts and show patience to those who wronged them.

“And who pardon men” means to forgive everyone who wronged you, regardless of whether they wronged you in speech or in deed. To pardon someone is at a higher level than repressing anger. When you repress your anger, you abstain from seeking retribution. When you forgive someone, you do the same, but you also pardon him, thus cleansing your heart more completely. Only a person who adopts noble manners can reach that level, a person who seeks to do business with Allah 3é. By forgiving Allah’s slaves, by showing mercy and kindness to them, and by disliking for evil to befall them, one achieves in return not the reward of that slave, but the reward of Allah 4&, the Most Generous. Allah 8 said:

“But whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah.” (Quran 42:40)