Part 20

# reported that a drink was given to the Messenger of Allah #8. He 3 drank from it, and to his right was a boy, while to his left were elder men. The Prophet #% said to the boy,

V5 chet ol J o3t “Do you give me permission to give to them?”

The boy said, “By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, as to my share from you, I prefer no one to my own self.” The Messenger of Allah #8 then handed him the drink.) This hadith, which seems to indicate that the person on one’s right has priority, regardless of age, is in apparent conflict with the aforementioned Ahadeeth, which indicate that elders have priority.

Nonetheless, there is no real conflict or contradiction. When you are drinking from a glass or bottle and something remains, you

should hand it over to the person to your right, or seek his permission to do otherwise. In commenting on Sahl’s narration, Tbn ‘Abdul-Barr said, “From the manners of eating and sitting together is that a man, after he has eaten or drank, should hand over what remains to the person on his right, no matter who he is - even if he is inferior to the person on the right.” But when you are serving food and drink in the beginning - when portions are still untouched - you should give priority to the eldest person present; next in priority is the person to your right. Perhaps the harmony struck between the different Ahadeeth is further strengthened by the narration of Ibn ‘Abbaas #, in which he 4 said, ‘When the Prophet # would provide others with drink, he #8 would say,

‘Begin with the eldest.’”"1]

This view combines the implications of all the proofs mentioned above. And Allah 3@ knows best.

8) When The Meal Is Over, The Guest Should Supplicate For His Host

From his Sunnah, the Prophet #% would supplicate for his hosts after partaking of a meal served by them. Anas 4 reported that when the Prophet # went to Sa’ad Ibn ‘Ubaadah %, the latter served food and oil. He (the Prophet ##) ate and then said,

“May the fasting ones break their fast in your home, and may the dutiful and pious ones eat your food, and may the Angels send

" Related by Abu Ya‘laa (4/315) (2425). Al-Haafidh said, “Its chain is strong.”

Related by Abu Daawood (3854), and Al-Albaanee ruled that it is. authentic. Ahmad (11767) and Ad-Daarimee (1772) both related it with’ the wording, “And may the Angels descend upon you.” And Ibn Maajah (1747) related it from ‘Abdullah Ibn Az-Zubair 4, with the same wording as Abu Daawood’s narration.

‘Chapter - 6 The Etiquettes Of The Host And The Guest 129

Some scholars have ruled that this invocation is specific for the breaking of the fast meal; the majority of scholars, however, have tuled that it is equally valid for the breaking of the fast meal and for other meals.

In a long hadith related by Al-Miqdaad Ibn Al-Aswad &, the Prophet # made this supplication:

“O Allah, feed him who fed me, and provide him with drink who provided me with drink,”""!

'. An-Nawawee said, “This hadith shows that one should supplicate for one who showed him generosity, for his servant, and for anyone that does good deeds (And the invoker too is a -doer of good).”

“Abdullah Ibn Busr - related that his father 2 prepared food for the Prophet #8 and invited him. The Prophet # answered his ~< invitation, and when he finished his meal, he 2% said,

Bote pe Od ee oder oye 0 3] ost 2 9% G38 55 Led as Sls eer 5I5 ce) Jae pally “O Allah, forgive them, have mercy on them, and bless for them that which You have provided them.”!

9) When Your Guest Wants To Leave, It Is Recommended For You To Accompany Him To The Door Of Your House

‘Do not do so (i.e., do not trouble yourself by standing), O ‘Abu ‘Abdullah.’ He said, ‘Ash-Sha’bee said: From the completeness of a visit from a visitor is to walk with him until the door and to take hold of his stirrup (to help him up onto his mount)...”

Chapter - 7 The Etiquettes Of Gatherings 131

The Etiquettes Of Gatherings

“O you who believe! When you are told to make room in the assemblies, (spread out and) make room. Allah will give you (ample) room (from His Mercy). And when you are told to rise up [for prayers, Jihad (holy fighting in Allah’s cause), or for any other good deed], rise up. Allah will exalt in degree those of you who believe, and those who have been granted knowledge. And Allah is Well-Acquainted with what you do” (Quran 58:11)

The Manners Of Gatherings

“4) The Virtues Of Remembering Allah 3 In Gatherings And The Prohibition Of Attending Gatherings Wherein Allah’s Name Is Not Mentioned

The Prophet # forbade us from attending gatherings wherein 7 Allah’s Name is not mentioned. For example, in a hadith related by Abu Hurairah 4, the Messenger of Allah #¢ said,

“No people stand up from a gathering in which they did not remember Allah, except that they stand up like from a donkey carcass (i.e., like it, in terms of its filth and its stench).

And it (i.e., that gathering) is regret for them (i.e., on the Day of Resurrection, they will regret having attended it)” They will feel regret for their dereliction, and for any backbiting or evil speech they may have spoken during that gathering.

In contrast to those gatherings are meetings that are alive with the remembrance and praise of Allah 3, and with prayers upon His Prophet #¢. Allah #¢ loves such gatherings, and its people achieve increase in goodness and reward. In a hadith that is related by Abu Hurairah #:, the Messenger of Allah x said,

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"! Related by Abu Daawood (4855), and Al-Albaanee said, “‘sahih.”” Ahmad (9300) and At-Tirmidhee (3380) related it with a different wording: “No people sit down in a gathering in which they neither remember Allah nor send prayers upon their Prophet, except that it (the gathering) will be something for which they will be blamed (and it will be a cause of regret). And if He (Allah) wishes, He will punish them; and if He wishes, He will forgive them.”

Chapter - 7 The Etiquettes Of Gatherings 133

of the Angels inquires, ‘Accompanying them, is someone who is not from them, but has only come for another purpose.’ Allah % says, ‘These are the companions, that whoever sits with them will not be wretched.)

2) Choosing A Companion

Choosing a close friend is one of the most important decisions of your life, for no matter how strong and firm you are, and regardless of whether you realize it or not, you are influenced by the company you keep. And that is why the Prophet # advised us to choose our companions and friends with wisdom and care; he #8 said,

“A person is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you be care; ful about the person with whom he establishes friendship.”

For two people to be close friends, they necessarily share similar habits and beliefs, and they inevitably lead a similar lifestyle; therefore, we should give serious consideration before forming a close friendship with someone else. If you are satisfied with a person’s religion and manners, befriend him; otherwise, don’t, for traits and habits and patterns of thinking are all contagious.

The Prophet #% mentioned an analogy that clarifies the influence of both a good and evil companion: