Part 27

“O ‘Aaisha, do not be Faahishah (i.e., do not transgress the proper etiquette of conversation).’”’

To this, ‘Aaisha % answered, “Did you not hear what they said?” He #¢ said,

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“And did I not return upon them what they said: I said, ‘And the same upon you (i.e., if they had indeed said, ‘death upon you,’ instead of ‘peace upon you,’ I answered, ‘the same upon you,’ which is appropriate for either possibility, and which saves me from transgressing the boundaries of good manners in speech).’”")

1) Related by Bukhaaree (3559), Muslim (2321), Ahmad (6468), and AtTirmidhee (1975).

Related by Bukhaaree (6024), Muslim (2165), Ahmad (24330), AtTirmidhee (2701), and Ibn Maajah (3698). The wording mentioned above is from Muslim's narration of the hadith.

Related Issue: The Ill-Effects Of Cursing And Damning Others In One's Supplications

“A friend should not be a curser (one who curses people often).1)

Abu Add-Dardaa # reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah #8 say,

weal yy ub Vy oiigt OL& ¥ gout Sp “Verily, the cursers will neither be witnesses nor intercessors on

the Day of Resurrection.)

Ibn ‘Abbaas # related that, in the presence of the Prophet #%, a man cursed the wind. The Prophet # then said,

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“Do not curse the wind, for it is commanded (i.e., it is commanded by Allah 3%, and does not act of its own volition). And when one curses something (or someone) that is not deserving of that, the curse returns upon him.”

Commenting on these narrations, An-Nawawee said, “These narrations should deter people from cursing; they inform us that the person who curses is deprived of many good qualities (i.e., he is not a true friend, and he will neither be a witness nor an intercessor on the Day of Resurrection). When one curses another

" Related by Muslim (2597), Ahmad (8242), and Bukhaaree in Al-Adab AlMufrad (317).

") Related by Muslim (2598), Ahmad (26981), Abu Daawood (4907), and Bukhaaree in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad (316). The wording mentioned above is from Muslim’s narration of the hadith.

'] Related by At-Tirmidhee (1978) and Abu Daawood (4908). And AlAlbaanee ruled it to be authentic.

in the form of an invocation, he is invoking for that person to be banished and excluded from Allah’s Mercy. The believers, by the very nature of their good manners, do not make such invocations; to the contrary, Allah 3% described the believers as being people that love one another and cooperate with one another in matters of piety and righteousness. Allah 46 likened them to a single structure or building, with parts of it strengthening its other parts. Believers are like a single body, and a true believer loves for his brother what he loves for himself. Therefore, when one curses his Muslim brother - which in effect means that he is invoking for him to be banished from Allah’s Mercy - he has reached the heights of hatred and evil plotting, qualities that are opposite to the mutual] love and mercy I just described. A Muslim should want a disbeliever, and not his fellow Muslim, to be banished from Allah’s Mercy, which is why the Prophet #¢ said in an authentic hadith:

CaS op hth 52h ‘Cursing a believer is like killing him.)

A curser is likened to a killer in this regard: a killer cuts his victim off from worldly benefits; a curser cuts off - through his invocation - the intended target of his curses from the bliss of the Hereafter and from the Mercy of Allah 38.”

Another Related Issue: One of the greatest of sins, in fact one of the gravest of major sins, is for a man to curse his parents. ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr 4 related that the Messenger of Allah 2% said,

“Verily, from the greatest of major sins is for a man to curse his parents.”

It was said, ‘‘O Messenger of Allah, and how does a man curse

{8 4 portion of a hadith related by Bukhaaree (6047), Muslim (110), and

his parents?” He # said, “A man curses the father of another man, and in return, that man curses his father and mother (so he does something that

causes his parents to be cursed).””

This is the wording of Muslim’s narration of the hadith: ‘It is from the greatest of sins (from the major sins) for a man to curse his parents.” His Companions # asked, ““O Messenger of Allah, and does a man curse his parents?” He ## said,

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“Yes, he curses the father of another man, and that man curses his father. And he curses the man’s mother, and so the man curses his mother.’""}

9) The Superiority Of Refraining From Argumentation Even When You Know That You Are In The Right

The Arabic word Al-Miraa means to argue in such a way as to bring out words and meanings of hostility from one’s opponent in the argument. Abu Umaamah reported that the Messenger of Allah #% said,

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ads 725 jal “T guarantee a house on the outskirts of Paradise to one who refrains from Al-Miraa, even if he is right (upon the truth in his views); a house in the center of Paradise for one who forsakes

lying, even when he is joking; and a house in the highest part of Paradise for one whose manners are goot 4

" Related by Bukhaaree (5973), Muslim (90), Ahmad (6493), At-Tirmidhee (1902), and Abu Daawood (5141). "1 Abu Daawood related it (4800), and Al-Albaanee ruled that it is Hasan.

We learn from the hadith that the Prophet # guaranteed a house on the outskirts of Paradise to one who refrains from argumentation. This is because such a person avoids hurting the feelings of the person he is debating with and refrains from raising himself above him and from showing off his superiority. In another hadith, Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet # said,

“Al-Miraa in the Quran (i.¢., debating about it) is disbelief

Jundub Ibn ‘Abdullah # reported that the Prophet 2% said,

“Read the Quran [together] so long as your hearts are united, but when you differ, stand up from it [and conclude your studysession together]. 12)

“When you differ” can mean differences about its meanings, but it can also mean differences about reciting it. When differences of opinion regarding the Quran lead to evil, the Muslim is ordered | to refrain from debating, and thus prevent the evil that will otherwise result.

An-Nawawee said, “As for the order to stand when people differ about the Qur’an, the scholars say that “differ” refers to either differences of views that are not permissible (i.e., when the truth is clear and there is no room for a second view) or differences that lead to what is forbidden (ie., differences that lead to

Refer to As-Saheehah (273). It is also related from Anas Ibn Maalik & by At-Tirmidhee (1993) and Ibn Maajah (51); but instead of “the outskirts of Paradise,” their narration of the hadith mentions, “the center of Paradise.”

" Related by Ahmad (7789) and Abu Daawood (4603). Ibn Al-Qayyim said, “Hasan,” ‘and Al-Albaanee said, “Hasan Sahech.”

senseless and hostile argumentation). For example, we may not differ about the Quran itself (no one may come and say that a verse of the Qur’an is not really from the Qur’an) or about a meaning from the Qur’an regarding which Ijtihaad is not permissible (ie, when there is a single clear view that is supported so strongly by proofs that there is no room for a second view that is inferred or reasoned out). Also, we must not differ when a debate among us leads to doubts, Fitnah (trials), enmity, or something similar. These kinds of differences of opinion are forbidden, but differences about secondary matters in the religion and debates among scholars about those issues - to bring out the truth - are not forbidden; rather, such debates and discussions are required and necessary and virtuous. From the era of the Companions # until the present day, Muslims agree that such differences are permissible. And Allah 3¢ knows best.”

In the above-mentioned hadith, we are encouraged to unite and we are given a warning not to differ and, as a result, become divided. One example of debating about the Qur’an for false purposes occurs when one’s opinion about a verse is contrary to its meaning as indicated by clear proofs, and when one then argues to show the validity of his interpretation.

Related Issue: Allah 3% said,

“So debate not except with clear proof (which We have revealed to you)” (Qur’an 18:22)

In this verse, As-Sa’dee clarified, we are told not to argue and debate unless our view is based on knowledge, proof, and certainty. To argue, therefore, based on ignorance or guesswork is looked down upon, for doing so is not only a waste of time, but also unnecessarily damages the love one has in his heart for his brother. This is especially the case when the issue being debated has no real religious benefit behind it, such as the oft-occurring debate about the number of the cave people (the story of which is

related in the ‘’Kahf Chapter’).

10) It Is Forbidden To Lie In Order To Make Others Laugh

There is nothing wrong in making other people smile or laugh; however, some people resort to unlawful means in order to achieve that effect. So in order to make people in a gathering laugh, one might lie and make up a false story, not knowing perhaps that he has perpetrated a great sin. Mu’aawiyah Ibn Haidah reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah 2% say,

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“Woe unto him who relates and then lies in order to make the people laugh; woe unto him! Woe unto him’)

11) When Your Muslim Brother Speaks To You And Turns Around (As If To See That No One Is Around), What He Says Is A Trust With You, Which You Must Keep Secret

Jaabir Ibn ‘Abdullah 4% reported that the Messenger of Allah 2% said, “When a man speaks and then turns (as if to see that no one is around), what he says is a trust (i.e., it is a trust, just as if he said outright that he was about to tell you a secret).”7!

When a person imparts a secret to you, you are required to fulfill, the trust implied by the secret and not convey it to others. So: noble and considerate was the Prophet #% in his manners that he considered the act of turning to one’s right and left to be similar to one saying outright that he is about to impart a secret. Whena _ person turns to his right and his left before speaking to you, he is ,