Part 72

When a person controls his anger even though he is able to exact revenge, he is promised a great reward. Mu’aadh Ibn Anas AlJuhanee # related that the Messenger of Allah 2 said,

“Whoever represses his anger while he is able to execute it (i.e.,

he is able to exact retribution), Allah will call him before all of the creation, until Allah will let him choose from any of the Al-Hoor

Al-‘Een (fair maidens of Paradise that have beautiful, wide eyes) he wants,’")

When you forgive someone for a mistake or an act of transgression, you are not showing a sign of weakness; to the contrary, you are showing the nobility and honor of your character. Abu Hurairah 4 reported that the Messenger of Allah #8 said,

“Charity does not cause wealth to decrease; Allah does not increase a slave for forgiveness with anything other than honor. And no one shows humbleness for Allah except that He (Allah) raises him.”

Ahmad related it thus: “And a man does not forgive a transgression except that Allah increases him in honor.”?! Brothers who love one another for the sake of Allah 4% are most worthy of forgiving each other for their mistakes. Consequently, their love for one another will increase, and their hearts will remain pure.

Related Issue: To forgive someone also means to accept his apology. Al-Hasan Ibn ‘Alee said, ‘Were a person to curse me in this ear of mine and to apologize in the other, I would accept his apology.” And Al-Ahnaf said, “If a person apologizes to you, then meet him with cheerfulness.”

11) The Prohibition Of Jealousy, Of Hatred, And Of Cutting Off Ties With Other Muslims

Anas 2 reported that the Prophet #€ said,

" Related by At-Tirmidhee (2021), who said, “This hadith is Hasan Ghareeb”’; by Ahmad (15210); by Abu Daawood (4777), and in grading his narration, Al-Albaanee said, “Hasan”; and by Ibn Maajah (4186).

"1 Related by Muslim (2588), Ahmad (7165), At-Tirmidhee (2029), Maalik (1885), and Ad-Daarimee (1676).

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tel BE S35 ET Ag of A bs “Do not hate one another, do not be jealous of one another, do not turn your backs on one another (i.e., do not cut off ties from one another), and be Allah’s slaves — brothers unto one another. And it is not permissible for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three days."

There are two kinds of jealousy: one is base and ignoble, and the other is praiseworthy. Having the former kind, one wishes for other people to lose the blessings they have; this is a form of transgression and wrongdoing. Having the latter kind - for which the term envy is perhaps more suitable - one wants the same blessings that others have, without wanting others to lose what they have. And the Prophet #% intended this form of envy when he 2% said:

Joos Mi ety obs Cush Bite 5 GUIs gh ain d

“There is no [lawful] jealousy except in [the case of] two [people]: aman whom Allah has given [knowledge of] the Book; he stands with it (ie. reciting it) throughout the night (i.e, it is permissible to be jealous of this person with the kind of jealousy that we described above as being praiseworthy); and a man to whom Allah has given wealth, and so he gives it in charity throughout the night and day.)

Related Issue: When you forsake or boycott your brother, your motive is either to uphold one of Allah’s rights - so you are censuring your brother for violating one of the teachings of the religion - or to uphold your personal honor or interests or

1 Related by Bukhaaree (5025), Muslim (815), Ahmad (4905), At-Tirmidhee (1936), and Ibn Maajah (4209).

anything similar. If you boycott your brother for a personal right — you feel he wronged you, for example — then you may not forsake his company for more than three nights; hence this saying of the Prophet #% applies to you:

“The Gates of Paradise are opened every Monday and Thursday, and every slave who does not associate any partners with Allah is forgiven, except for a man between whom and his brother there is enmity. Then it is said [about them], ‘Give delay to these two

until they become reconciled. Give delay to these two until they become reconciled.”

At-Tirmidhee related it thus: ‘Except for two people who have forsaken each other’s company (ie., they neither greet one another nor speak to one another). It is said, ‘Reject these two until they become reconciled.”

But if you boycott your brother because of Allah’s right - for example, you boycott a person who openly sins until he repents - then the limit of three days does not apply; you may continue your boycott as long as there is overweighing benefit in doing so. This occurred during the life of the Prophet #, when he boycotted the three Muslims that remained behind from one of his battles; he # established ties with them again only after Allah 4% revealed verses, announcing that He accepted their repentance.

Another Related Issue: Shaikh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah — may Allah have mercy on him — said, “The scale of this kind of boycott (referring to the kind that is for Allah’s right) depends on the resources, strength, and number of the people who are carrying out the boycott. The entire point of the boycott is to

"Related by Muslim (2565), Ahmad (7583), At-Tirmidhee (2023), Abu Daawood (4916), Ibn Maajah (1740), and Maalik (1686).

censure and castigate a person for some sin, in the hope that he will repent; and to deter other people from perpetrating the same sin. If the boycott leads to an overweighing benefit — evil becomes weaker or becomes hidden — then it is legislated. But if neither the person being boycotting nor anyone else changes for the better or changes, but for the worse, or if the person boycotting him is weak, whereby the evil that will result from his boycott will be greater than its good, then boycotting is not legislated. In some cases and for some people, therefore, acting kindly leads to better results than does boycotting and breaking off ties; and in other cases, it is boycotting that produces better results. And that is why the Prophet #% would invite some people through acts of kindness and other people through boycotting and breaking off ties.”

Another Related Issue: We pointed out that the Shariah limited the duration of a boycott or of a cutting off of ties to three days when the motive is a personal one. When you have a fallout with your brother, you may not avoid greeting him and talking to him for more than three days. The wisdom behind this ruling is that, through social interaction, people often have cause to become angry. When that happens, a Muslim is given permission to cut off ties with his brother for three nights; that period is sufficient to allow the intensity of his anger to abate. Similarly, a woman may mourn (the outward manifestation of mourning means to show sadness by avoiding adornment and perfume) for other than her husband for three days, and no more — for the exact same reason. Death is from the greatest of afflictions, and when a close relative or friend dies, sadness certainly enters one’s heart. Hence a person is allowed to vent that sadness (within the limits set by the Shariah) for a period that is deemed sufficient — three days.

12) The Prohibition Of Calling People By Nicknames [That They Dislike]

In many ways the tongue can be the instrument of not only sin, but of stirring bitterness, hatred, and division among brothers.

One such way is for a person to call others by disparaging and insulting nicknames, in order to belittle them and mock them. Allah % said:

“Nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one’s brother after having Faith [i.e., to call your Muslim brother (a faithful believer) as: ‘‘O sinner,” or “O wicked person,” etc.]’”

The true Muslim is he from whose tongue and hand other Muslims are safe.

Abu Jubairah Ibn Ad-Dahhaak 4 said, “This verse was revealed about Banee (The Children of) Salamah (a sub-tribe):

“Nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one’s brother after having Faith [i.e., to call your Muslim brother (a faithful believer) as: “‘O sinner,” or ‘‘O wicked person,” etc.]’”

Abu Jubairah 4 said, “When the Messenger of Allah #% first came to us, every man among us had [at least] two or three names. The Prophet #¢ began to say, ‘O so and so (calling him by one of his names, which the Prophet # was informed of by others).’ They said, ‘Refrain [from calling him by that name], O Messenger of Allah, for he becomes angry [when he is called] by that name.’ Then this verse was revealed:

“Nor insult one another by nicknames.

The practice of calling other people by insulting nicknames is common among the masses today; they need to be educated, "tI Related by At-Tirmidhee (3268), who said, “This hadith is Hasan sahih”;

by Abu Daawood (4962), and in grading his narration, Al-Albaanee said, “sahih"; by Ahmad (17824); and by Ibn Maajah (3741).

therefore, about the graveness of that sin. A person who wishes to be safe in the Hereafter must make sure that neither his hand nor his tongue is used as an instrument to attack the honor of Muslims. May Allah 4¢ protect us from the evils of the tongue.

13) It Is Recommended To Make Peace Between Brothers

Misunderstandings and disputes among brothers are inevitable, and when a dispute occurs between two brothers, they might harbor a grudge in their hearts against each other. A person who is guided to goodness in this regard is one whom Allah 3 makes a peacemaker - a mediator who helps reconcile the differences between two disputing parties. Abu Ad-Dardaa # reported that the Messenger of Allah # said,

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“Shall I not inform you of what is better in degree than fasting, prayer, and charity?”

The Companions # said, “Yes.” He #¢ said, “Reconciling differences between people, for corruption in the

relationships of people is Al-Haaliqah (literally, Al-Haaliqah means ‘shaver.””

The Prophet # explained this in another narration, saying, ‘It doesn’t shave hair, but it shaves the religion.’ This means that corruption in people's relationships destroys and uproots their practice of the religion).”""] The principles and precepts of the Shariah work to unite the hearts and ranks of Muslims. When the Shariah is correctly applied, people will be far away from division and mutual hatred. And that is why a person is allowed to lie when his purpose and intention is to bring peace between two or more people. The Messenger of Allah #% said,