Part 24

When a child learns obedience within the family unit, this generalizes into other areas of his or her life (in school, with peers, and with other adults). There are many situations in which we all need to listen and obey: student to teacher, worker to supervisor, soldier to commander, and so forth, with Allah as the final authority. Allah says,

bash Saas BHM OG AG OLE Sg ott At oy €O you who have believed, obey Allah and obey the Messenger and those in authority among you. And if you disagree over anything,

refer it to Allah and the Messenger, if you should believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is the best [way] and best in result.) (Qur’an 4: 59)

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This principle is necessary for optimal functioning of the society.

Part of the rationale behind this ruling is that parents and other adults have more experience than a child and consequently more * wisdom. They have gained more knowledge, undergone more trials and tribulations, and learned from their own mistakes. It is important for children to understand that they have their best interests in mind when making decisions. This will assist the children in understanding the perspective of their parents and will build trust between them. Of course, Allah knows us better than we know our own selves, so He is our ultimate judge in all matters.

Encourage a focus on worthy values and related projects

In this day and age, children spend a significant amount of time in useless and valueless pursuits: watching television, playing computer games, surfing the Internet; the list is endless. In essence, they spend significantly greater amounts of time in the fictional world than they do in the real world. It suddenly becomes frightening when you begin to realize this fact and understand the implications. As parents of Muslim children, we need to focus on worthy values, goals, and projects, and instil the same aspirations in our children.

As we look at the situation of the world today, we see so much oppression, strife, destruction, and complete disregard for the fundamental rights of humans. Many of the victims of this death, devastation, and grief are Muslims. We must recall that it is our obligation to help our brothers, sisters and others who are suffering in the world today. Our Muslim brothers and sisters are calling out desperately for our help, and we must respond. We particularly need to take care of the children whose futures seem so dark and hopeless, and who are dependent upon adults for their needs.

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As parents, we not only need to fulfil our own obligation to the community, but we must also teach our children about the importance of worthy values such as charity, altruism, empathy, peace, and justice. Parents will find that feeling sympathy for others comes naturally to children. Children will innately want to help and give to others when they see them in need. We must firstly teach children about the condition of other Muslims and other people in the world. They must know of the injustices, the oppression, the hunger, the poverty, and the anguish. They must realize the true nature of events. We should not protect them from the truth for fear of frightening them or worrying them. They must understand that it is only through Allah’s mercy that they are not in the same situation as their Muslim brother or sister.

We then need to teach our children of the necessity of assisting - those in need in any way possible. They must learn the true meaning

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From these hadiths, we understand that charity goes beyond giving money alone and includes any good deed that benefits another human being. Children must learn this fundamental aspect of the religion and incorporate it into their lives from a very early age. Muslims should perform acts of charity on a daily basis and strive to benefit others through these acts. We particularly need to try and reach those who are most in need. Children can collect and save money, clothing, and toys to be sent to those in need. They can participate in fundraising projects and activities to educate others about the suffering in the world. They can write letters and campaign against the injustices and oppression. The list of possibilities is endless. Through this process, the child begins to feel what it means to be a Muslim and to belong to the community. His or her eeman and Islamic personality will be strengthened immeasurably. His or her

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time will be spent in worthy pursuits and endeavours that will bring him or her rewards in this life and in the hereafter.

As time goes on, it becomes a part of the personality of the child to treat others with kindness and concern. S/he begins to realize the many wonderful blessings that s/he has received from Allah and s/he desires to demonstrate his or her gratefulness. In thankfulness to Allah, s/he uses the blessings that s/he has received (ability, wealth, health) to assist and improve those in need. S/he never misses any opportunity to perform an act of kindness because s/he realizes that no matter how much s/he performs, s/he can never match the wonderful blessings that s/he has received from Allah. What more could a parent desire for his or her child?

Teenagers, in particular, are idealists and have a fervent desire to change the world and make it a better place. Parents should encourage these natural desires and assist them in fulfilling their dreams and goals. There are many important causes and so much to be done. The keenness for volunteer work and social activism that a teenager participates in will undoubtedly be carried over into adulthood, so that the effort may continue. The inevitable outcome is the strengthening of the Muslim community and the achievement of its goals.

Be good role models

As a starting point, parents must consistently engage in behaviour and speech that exemplifies the true nature of being Muslim. Children derive many of their ideas about roles and values from significant individuals with whom they interact and have close relationships. Of course, the parents would be the main figures in this process as discussed elsewhere. Young people are generally drawn to the values and attitudes of a special person — a parent, an admired teacher, an older sibling, or a famous person — whose ideas and

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behaviours the youth admires. Adults should give young people reasons to admire them and strive to be successful role models, mentors, and guides. The values, attitudes, and behaviour that youth . learn from these significant others will be integrated into their Islamic personality and identity.

Of course, the greatest role model for the whole Muslim community is Prophet Muhammad (;22). We have his model available to us in writing and it can be brought to life in our own behaviour. We cannot expect our children to live and behave in a certain manner if we are not doing it ourselves. The opportunity to influence children is readily awaiting; we just need to take advantage of it.

Demonstrate and encourage pride in being Muslim

Parents should take the lead in demonstrating pride in the religion of Islam and in being Muslim. Children are very perceptive and can sense the feelings and thoughts of their parents, even if they do not readily show in behaviour. Pride, in this context, is very different from arrogance in that it refers to a sense of dignity and certainty, and a commitment to carry the banner of Islam for the sake of Allah. Muslims should be proud of the gift that they have been given from Allah and should work to spread it wherever they are. Pride, self-respect, and self-esteem are key components of identity and facilitate the stable and consistent sense of who we are and how we fit into society. If self-esteem does not come from being Muslim, a person will attempt to gain it through other means. Children and youth are particularly vulnerable as these aspects develop gradually during those years.

Instil love of Jihad

Jihad is one of the mainstays of Islam that has been abandoned by the majority of the Muslim community. This is one of the causes of

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the humiliation of Muslims in our time. The grief and suffering caused by current circumstances is overwhelming. As Muslims, we know that the only viable solution is returning to the Qur’an and the Sunnah. Principles of justice, security, and honour can only be guaranteed fully with the implementation of Allah’s laws on the earth, which deserve the utmost respect and honour. The ultimate goal in the struggle is to establish Islam and Islamic law, which eliminate all forms of oppression completely and give Allah the devotion and adoration that only He deserves.