Part 27

Sre environment surrounding children may also have an impact upon their spiritual development. This influence is often subtle, but nonetheless can be quite significant. This is particularly true as the child matures and moves from childhood into adolescence and early adulthood. The general understanding in the field of development is that as a child develops, the influence of parents tends to diminish (although it never ends) and the role of peers and the community becomes more significant. It is a gradual process, which of course will vary from person to person. The good news is that in most cases, youth tend to eventually integrate the morals and values of their parents, even if they spend a period of time ‘testing the limits’. Regardless of this encouraging fact, it is important to monitor the home environment itself, the peer environment (their friends, their activities, and so forth); and the community environment, to ensure the most spiritually enriching experiences for your child.

Chapter 14 The Home Environment

Heme is a sanctuary and a blessing from Allah. Allah (a) mentions:

[Ae shel <Q. CS eat ts KIS Hip

€And Allah has made for you from your homes a place of rest...)

It is the peaceful haven to which people retreat from the

hardships of this life. Shelter, protection, privacy and enjoyment are found within this enclosure.

Home is also the base for developing and nurturing children with eeman. Children acquire most of their values, beliefs, and behaviours from interactions within this environment. Understanding the responsibility and influence of parenting, parents should ensure that the home offers an environment in which eeman may grow and flourish. This can be accomplished by following a few useful guidelines, centred around instituting that which is good and beneficial and removing that which causes evil or harm.

Create an environment of eeman within the home

Nurturing Eeman in Children 189

through prayer, reading the Qur’an, remembrance of Allah, supplication, discussion of Islamic topics, reading Islamic books, and so on. These are things that should occur on a consistent basis so that the angels will enter the home and bring Allah’s blessings.

Establish prayer within the home

Prayer should be established within the home at its required time, and members of the family should pray in congregation when several are present. Establishment of prayer means not only to fulfil the prayer, but to complete it on time and with humbleness. The family may also designate a specific area for prayer and maintain its uniqueness and cleanliness. For women, it is better to pray each prayer within the home. For men, it is recommended to pray voluntary prayers at home before or after having prayed obligatory prayers in

? Muslim 3 Al-Hakim in sahih al-Jémi* 4 Ahmad in sahih al-Jami*

190 The home environment

7 insha’ Alléh: God willing

Nurturing Eemén in Children 191

Make teaching and learning ongoing activities

Teaching and learning should be ongoing activities in every Muslim household. Attaining knowledge regarding the religion is incumbent upon all members of the family and is the basis upon which eeman will flourish. The head of the household has the primary responsibility to ensure that he is guiding his family to the correct path, enjoining them to do what is good and right, and forbidding them from wrongdoing. Both father and mother work together to teach the children correct Islamic ‘aqeedah , the pillars of Islam, the pillars of eeman, what Allah has enjoined, what He has prohibited, and Qur’anic memorization. A study circle should be established within the home that covers these various topics, and from which all family members will benefit. Children should especially be encouraged to participate since this will establish a pattern for them that will be carried throughout their lifetimes. As they become older, they may even be requested to prepare topics for presentation. Other sources of learning may be scholarly lectures, recitation of the Qur’an, or Islamic stories and information on radio, audiotapes, video, or via the Internet. The possibilities for acquiring knowledge are endless.

' Ahmad and Abu Dawood in sahih al-Jami‘

192 The home environment

Maintain an Islamic library

Each home should have its own small Islamic library. This may , include such things as books, cassette tapes, CDs, and videos. It is important to choose accurate and reliable material that adheres to the Sunnah. There should be a variety of materials to cover the needs of all age levels and languages of those in the home. Arabic material is definitely a must since everyone in the family should either know or be learning to read the language of the Qur’an. Books should cover a variety of topics, be properly organized, and be easily accessible. Audiotapes and CDs may include Qur’anic recitation, lectures, children’s tapes containing supplications, reminders of Islamic manners, and religious songs with no musical instruments. Family members should encourage one another to use these materials on a regular basis, and they should be shared with other Muslim families who may be in need of them.

Know the supplications and Islamic rulings that pertain to houses

'3 Muslim and Ahmad

Nurturing Eemén in Children 193

Some of the Islamic rulings regarding homes include guarding the secrets of the home, seeking permission to enter, not looking into other people’s homes, and not allowing children to enter the parent’s bedroom during certain times of the day. Regarding seeking permission to enter, Allah (4) informs us,

Fa w bt of We SS Si €O you who have believed, do not enter houses other than your own houses until you ascertain welcome and greet their inhabitants. That is best for you; perhaps you will be reminded. And if you do not find anyone therein, do not enter them until permission has been given you. And if it is said to you: Go back, then go back; it is purer for you. And Allah is Knowing of what you do.? (Qur’an 24: 27-28)