Part 29

Dangers for the soul

The dangers of television for the soul are many. The most obvious is the diversion from worship and remembrance of Allah. Through its entrance into the mind and heart of the child, television has the capability to cause serious damage to the soul. A person who watches a great deal of television is less likely to pray on time (if at all) or to join the congregational prayer. Staying up late for viewing causes the person to miss the dawn prayer. There is little time for reading of Qur’an, and so on. Imagine the outcome in the hereafter for a person who spent nine years of his or her life in front of television versus the one who spent those nine years in worship, reading the Qur’an, and acquiring Islamic knowledge — an amazing difference.

In addition to the time that is lost to meaningless pursuits, there is also exposure to countless un-Islamic values and practices. Most of these are very obvious, while others are more subtle. Some of the more obvious include social mixing between males and females, inappropriate dress, aggressive and unacceptable social behaviour,

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lack of respect for authority, celebrating of non-Muslim holidays, and so on. It would be useful to recall that television programming is prepared mainly by non-Muslims. That means that the values and morals that are displayed are usually far from those that a Muslim family should have.

For children, the real threat lies in the fact that these values begin to be internalized and become a part of the personality structure. Children begin to assimilate and integrate material that they are presented into their thinking patterns and view of life. They often accept new information without question because they have not yet acquired the critical thinking skills of an adult. This means that what they see on television (and from adults around them), they come to accept and believe as truth and reality. Young children, in particular, have a difficult time separating fantasy from reality, so they perceive what they view to be real and good. Through a process of desensitization, the behaviours that are displayed come to be perceived as normal and acceptable.

In addition, television is probably one of the most influential ‘modelling’ tools available. Children imitate what they see from others around them and from the media. This means that they not only integrate the material into their thinking patterns, but that they also begin to act it out in their behaviour. Research has found, for example, that children who watch aggressive models on television tend to be more aggressive themselves. The reversal of this process is inevitably very challenging and difficult. The most effective method for dealing with this type of threat is to avoid exposure as much as possible from the beginning.

Another danger of television is the concept of materialism, the foundation of many industrialized societies. Materialism is the belief that pleasure and material aspects are the most important values and goals in life, taking priority over spiritual principles or objectives. The aim of most mass media organizations is to entice the general

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population to spend as much money as possible in order to make a very small group of people wealthy (or wealthier). Television programs are put together with the conscious attitude of promoting a consumer society; and this is exactly what happens through television advertising. Children become concerned about getting the latest and ‘hottest’ commodities and products, which leads to a lack of concern about those less fortunate, and about higher values and goals. As Muslims, we need to be cautious about the trap of materialism, especially in countries with high material standards of living, and we must teach our children that which far exceeds wealth in terms of rewards and benefits.

Exposure to various forms of disbelief and polytheism is the most perilous aspect of television viewing. When one begins to analyze the material available to children these days, it becomes clear that much of it includes outright polytheism, while others have more hidden forms of disbelief and polytheism. We see human or “superhuman” beings given strength, control and power that belongs to Allah alone. Whether it involves fighting wicked forces or ridding the world of evil, these beings are most often ascribed abilities that were never given to them by Allah and are for Allah alone. (Of course, most of the characters are fictional, anyway.) This power often means controlling the whole world, and there is no mention of a Greater Being in the whole process. Oftentimes there is use or mention of magic, which is a form of disbelief and polytheism.

When children are exposed to these ideas on a constant basis, they begin to believe that 1) they can rely upon other forces or beings to get what they want in life, 2) there are forces as powerful as Allah, or 3) there is no God. In many ways, a form of worship of these beings or forces takes place, especially in connection with the materialistic aspect.

Chapter 15 The Peer Environment

be Ge Ferre ce

AY) GR Ory Sots

Ls 6 Bo AGE ah SG geal ay a pee ce {And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose

The role of peers

Between the ages of six and twelve, children typically spend approximately 40 percent of their waking hours in the company of peers-children of their own age and status. This is twice the amount of time they spent with peers during the preschool years, and it is accompanied by a corresponding decrease in time spent with parents. As children enter adolescence, peer interaction increases even more. On the average, teenagers spend twice as much time with their peers outside of school as they do with their parents or other adults. This is part of the natural, social transition into adulthood.

Related to the amount of time spent with peers is the influence that peers have on a child or adolescent. This influence functions in many ways, and it is commonly termed ‘peer pressure’. Children and teens may feel pressured by their peers to think and act in similar ways. By the teenage years, they may be more concerned about the

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opinion of friends than that of parents or elders. This social influence is a mutual process. Children and adolescents are not only influenced by their peers, but at the same time influence them as well. They also tend to choose friends who are like themselves. The good news is that most adolescents report that they are more likely to go along with peer pressure that is pro-social than with pressure to misbehave.

The increasing time spent with peers alters parent-child relations. As the parenting role begins to diminish, the influence of peers becomes more significant. However, while the influence of parents decreases, most adolescents continue to share their parents’ values. Parents also continue to exert an important influence on their children’s development throughout adolescence.

Parents should make every effort to help their children develop friendships with sincere and righteous Muslim peers. Friends should be chosen who believe in and abide by the principles of Islam and who give proper respect to what Allah and Prophet Muhammad (2%) have ordered. They should avoid those peers that are not wellmannered or do not give due attention to their religion and to what pleases or displeases Allah.

"A reliable hadith narrated by Abu Dawood and Al-Tirmidhi

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In this hadith, the Prophet (2) compared a good companion to a seller of musk and alluded to the virtue of having companions who are good and who have gracious manners, piety, and knowledge. Those types of friends will confer upon others their virtuous ways. Keeping good company with those who are pious results in the attainment of beneficial knowledge, good manners, and righteous actions. The Prophet (#%) also forbade us to sit with those who do evil and commit many sins, and likened them to one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows. Keeping company with the wicked prevents one from gaining knowledge, good manners, and righteous actions. At times, a Muslim is encouraged by his or her friends to do wrong and to forget his or her duties. S/he may, for example, feel ashamed to leave his or her friends to perform ablution and prayer. In this way, his or her friends cause him or her to deviate from the straight path.

On the Day of Resurrection, the disbelievers will regret having taken evil ones as friends. Allah (4) describes in the Qur’an:

SE Owe YN CSE gels Sis SE a Le oy 265 3G Zi ge Ll ig @ ie Ssh id And the Day the wrongdoer will bite on his hands [in regret] and he will say: Oh, I wish I had taken with the Messenger a way. Oh, woe

? Bukhari and Muslim

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to me! I wish I had not taken that one [the person who misguided him] as a friend. He led me away from the remembrance after it had come to me. And ever is Satan, to people, a deserter.) In contrast, on that day, the believers will be given the glad tidings of admittance into heaven, along with those who were their righteous companions. Allah (4g) also indicates,