Part 4

'9 Zarabozo, He Came to Teach You Your Religion, p. 198 20 Zarabozo, He Came to Teach You Your Religion, pp. 198-199

Nurturing Eemdn in Children 33

What all of this means for the purpose of our endeavour is that the goal of parents should not only be to develop their children as Muslims, but also to foster firm ‘aqeedah and eemAn in the heart. If a family spends a great deal of time teaching their children the practical aspects of the religion rather than focusing on ‘aqeedah, it is likely that the behaviour will not be enduring. It would be similar to building a house with a very weak foundation; the house is likely to collapse. Children may know how to pray and fast and so on, but it may not be in their hearts to do so. They may complete these acts to please their family or to show off to Muslim friends, but it will not be lasting. What is needed is an understanding of the true meaning of being a Muslim, of being a mu’min, and even of attaining the level of ihsan.

Parents must cultivate this eeman in the hearts of their children, beginning from birth. They must teach their children to sincerely submit to Allah with their hearts, with their tongues, and with their deeds. Children must learn to have fear of Allah, love of Allah, and trust in Allah. Their love of Allah should surpass love of any other person or thing in this world. Allah (3) says,

34 ‘Aqeedah, eemén, and ihsan

It should be obvious that the most essential building block in this formula is the belief system — the foundation of faith. Eeman is built upon knowledge of Allah and His Oneness, of His Names and attributes, of His majesty and power, of His mercy and forgiveness, of His will and decree, of His prophets and messengers, and so on, From an Islamic perspective, the importance of correct and resolute ‘aqeedah cannot be overemphasized, for beliefs direct practices. The Prophet (:z) taught his companions ‘aqeedah for thirteen years before introducing the practical aspects of Islam. This approach was followed to ensure firm eeman and commitment to the religion of Allah. If parents were to teach their children only correct ‘aqeedah and nothing of practice, they would have a far greater chance of entering paradise than those who pray and fast and give poor-due, but who also worship graves, for example. This is due to the realization that accurate belief in Allah and His religion is necessary for developing a relationship with Him and for cultivating within us the ability to distinguish right from wrong (conscience). This relationship and ability to discern will then lead us to choose the lawful in each and every circumstance. This choice wil] be made regardless of the pressure to act otherwise.

It is for this reason that a child who has developed eeman and piety will make the job of parenting an easier one. The choices that a child makes will come from within, with love and fear of Afiah, rather

? Bukhari and Muslim

Nurturing Eeman in Children 35

than having to be imposed externally. Modern psychological principles focus on the application of consequences for behaviour: rewards for positive behaviour and punishment for negative behaviour. While these techniques may be useful at times, they should not be the foundation of parenting. If parents assist their children in developing internal strength, these techniques will rarely be needed, if at all. The focus for a child with eemAn will be to seek the pleasure and rewards from Allah with the profound realization that these are greater than any material or social reward that can be gained in this life.

In the end, parents nurture eemAn in their children so that they will be successful, not only in this life, but in the hereafter. This should be the central goal for their children. For success in Islam is not measured by wealth or position, it is measured by sincere obedience to Allah and the attainment of paradise in the next life. Allah (4g) says,

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But those who feared their Lord will have gardens beneath which rivers flow, abiding eternally therein, as accommodation from Allah. And that which is with Allah is best for the righteous.} (Quran 3: 198)

Allah (4) also indicates,

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18 sss Oui ‘ai Eve ust 4Allah will say: This is the Day when the truthful will benefit from + their truthfulness. For them are gardens [in Paradise] beneath which rivers flow, wherein they will abide forever, Allah being pleased with them, and they with Him. That is the great attainment.} (Quran 5: 119)

Truly that is the great attainment.

Chapter 2 The Responsibility of Parenting

SH mtustions, it is important to understand the significance and responsibility of the parenting role, the importance of preparing children for the hereafter, and the obligation of protecting them from the hellfire. Allah (4) says,

Be ne ee Bae tee Bye ek ke ae ste AK OB tae oe SH ye Hed AO oss Oe Kah Keaton Gall Ge €O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed]) angels,

What are the meanings and implications of this verse? It is generally a clear reminder for believers to protect themselves, their children, and their families from hellfire; the fire which is already burning and whose fuel is people and stones. This is a dire warming and one that should be taken very seriously. This should be a main focus in parenting from an Islamic perspective.

Allah (3) continues in the next verses,

Aa ihn ol oat St 8 9G NT GE & 63 oS €O you who have disbelieved, make no excuses that Day. You will only be recompensed for what you used to do. O you who have

Nurturing Eeman in Children 37

believed, repent to Allah with sincere repentance. Perhaps your Lord will remove from you your misdeeds and admit you into gardens beneath which rivers flow [on] the Day when Allah will not disgrace the Prophet and those who believed with him...) (Quran 66: 7-8)

The disbelievers will have no excuse on that day for their disbelief. The believers are asked to repent to Allah with sincerity so that they may be admitted into the gardens that He has also prepared. A person’s eternal abode will be determined by his or her beliefs and actions in this life. The perpetual outcome of parents and that of their children is dependent upon these factors. Which outcome is preferable, and which one is being prepared for?

This hadith of the Prophet (#z) emphasizes the fact that parenting is a crucial responsibility that must be approached earnestly and sincerely. Parents nurture, rear, and protect their children in this life, and focus on preparing them for the life to come. Responsibility entails accountability, as elaborated in the Qur’anic verse above. Allah will hold each and every parent accountable for how they carried out this responsibility and this will be present on their balance of deeds in the hereafter. For this reason, parenting could be a person’s door to paradise or it could be his or her gate to the hellfire.

Parenting is not only a responsibility, but itis probably the most critical duty in the world. Parents are raising the next generation that

' Bukhari and Muslim

38 The responsibility of parenting

will either succeed or fail in re-establishing Islam on this earth. The task has tremendous bearing on the future of the Muslim nation, and its outcome will depend upon the ability of parents to succeed. Parents have the capability to influence a child more than any other person. This influence, in turn, affects the community in which they live. Families are the building blocks of society, and the society is only as strong as its foundation. For these reasons, it is imperative that Parents appreciate the significance of this role and accept the responsibility that comes with it.

Children as a test from Allah