Part 28

' Abu Dawood, mentioned in Qahtani's Fortress of the Muslim, p. 19 'S Abu Dawood and Al-Tirmidhi in sahih al-Jémi*

194 The home environment

Children should be informed that there are certain times of the day that they must seek permission to enter their parents’ bedroom. These times are before the dawn prayer, at nap time, and after the evening prayer. Allah (4) mentions,

pre he 67 A .

of hi he Shes 5 is Ke iE bed GB Be “7 od, bee BG

bas An fe ie KF oe 5 ees oes oe ie Wee eae €O you who have wee let those an your right hands possess and those who have not [yet] reached puberty among you ask permission of you [before entering] at three times: before the dawn prayer, when you put aside your clothing [for rest] at noon, and after

the night prayer. [These are] three times of privacy for you. There is no blame upon you nor upon them beyond these [periods], for they

‘6 Ahmad in sahih al-Jami‘ 7 Al-Bukhari

Nurturing Eemdan in Children 195

circulate continually among you — some of you, among others. Thus does Allah make clear to you the verses [His ordinances]; and Allah

The privacy of personal affairs is highly respected in Islam as reflected in the above rulings. Care should be taken to preserve this virtue within the home. In addition, when visitors are present, men and women should sit in separate areas. There should be no mixing of men and women, since this can \ead to temptation and uncomfortable or awkward situations. This should be applied regardless of whether the visitors are Muslims or non-Muslims. The rules are for your home and they should be respected by those who enter.

Invite righteous and knowledgeable people to the home

'S & reliable hadith narrated by Abu Dawood and Al-Tirmidhi

196 The home environment

Remove negative influences from the home

Negative influences should be removed from the home, including television, unlawful music, dogs, statues, and pictures of animate beings. Each of these is discussed in more detail below.

Television is a standard appliance in many Muslim homes. It is also the one thing that parents will never regret having thrown out. While some people argue that television has advantages, for example, educational programs, its dangers far outweigh any benefits that may be possible. To more effectively create a home environment filled with eeman, it is strongly encouraged to eliminate this major source of distraction. If this is not possible, then strict monitoring of programming must be applied. More information related to this issue is provided at the end of this chapter.

Unlawful music should also be prohibited within the home. This includes songs with musical instruments and lyrics that provoke temptation and performance of forbidden actions. Allah mentions,

Bhs fe SL de cn he

The explanation for “amusement of speech” is that which has no benefit, including misleading stories and frivolous songs or music. In general, it includes all that distracts or diverts one from the Qur’an and the remembrance of Allah.

Nurturing Eemdn in Children 197

Pictures, statues, and dogs

198 The home environment

statues of animate beings. Some scholars also conclude that photographs of humans or animals are prohibited as well.

Dogs are forbidden inside the home due to issues of cleanliness. *

Ensure that physical aspects are conducive to fulfilling religious obligations

It is preferable for the home to be close to a mosque so that it will be easier for men to attend the prayers in congregation and for all family members to visit the mosque for lectures, study groups, and social gatherings. In order to obtain the benefits of community, it is also advisable to find an area where other Muslims live. One should definitely be careful about close neighbours and avoid those who are obviously engaged in immoral activity. When choosing a house or apartment, consideration should be made regarding privacy and the availability of separate sitting areas for men and women. Additionally, although most scholars agree that it is permissible to face the qiblah while relieving oneself inside buildings or places where there is a screen between oneself and the Ka‘bah, it is best to ensure that toilets are situated in such a way as to avoid facing the direction of

3 Bukhari 4 Al-Bukhari

Nurturing Eemdn in Children 199

the gibla.”> The house should be spacious and fulfil safety and health requirements.

Some notes regarding television

Research has found that children spend an average of three to four hours watching television each day. In a 65-year lifespan, that means s/he will have spent nine of those years in front of a box. With these statistics, we realize that children spend significant amounts of time in the fictional world, engaging with this virtual world often more than they do in the real world. It suddenly becomes worrisome when you begin to realize this fact and understand the implications. Television viewing is harmful to the intellectual, psychological, and social development of children. Even more frightening is that children may be harming their souls at a very young age; often never to recover their purity and whoiesomeness again.

Dangers to intellectual, psychological, and social development

When a child is born, s/he possesses all of the brain cells (or neurons) that s/he will have for his or her lifetime, although these cells are not yet fully developed. This progression occurs early in life through interaction with others, stimulation from the outside world, and the love and care of a parent. Television has actually been found to be harmful for the process, not allowing the brain to complete its full development. This is because television viewing is a passive activity, not an active one. The American Academy of Pediatrics has itself provided a warning that children under two years of age should not be allowed to watch any television, primarily for this reason. Much of the development occurs early in childhood, but it does continue into adolescence, so this applies to children of all ages.

25 Fatwa of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas: http://www.islamqa.com/ en/ref/69808

200 The home environment

Watching television also means that a child is not doing something else. Reading, interacting, and experiencing are important for a child’s learning. When a child watches television, s/he is obviously not engaged in these activities. S/he is not actively using his or her abilities, not being creative, not socializing, not playing, and not reading and memorizing the Qur’an. So much time is wasted in a useless activity. This means that s/he may not reach his or her full potential in these critical areas. This may also have a negative impact on schoolwork and functioning in school. Children who are the most successful academically have been found to spend most of their time engaged in fulfilling and constructive activities. Television was not included on that list. We need to teach our children that positive and constructive use of time is very important and is actually a part of being Muslim.