Part 7

a we i fas Kiss a Ks Aan

€O people, indeed We have created you 1 from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of

This verse makes it clear that variables such as gender, ethnic

background, and languages do not provide any basis for superiority or inferiority.

Within this general framework, Allah has assigned specific _toles for males and females in daily functioning. Both roles are honourable and operate in a complementary manner. Each gender has been given specific qualities and traits to fulfil their respective roles. Allah indicates,

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5 aa ane ARES i ean £ ere

While this concept of traditional gender roles is also found in other world religious and cultural groups, the trend (or even norm) in many areas of the world is toward the elimination of such a distinct differentiation. In the West, in particular, there has been an attempt to replace these traditional roles with the concept of ‘equality’ or sameness. Women have been encouraged to participate ‘equally’ with men in all aspects of life, and the role of motherhood is viewed as less valuable than a career outside the home. This phenomenon is occurring even in Muslim countries. Muslims should be aware of this and cautious of the attempts being made to disrupt the traditional gender roles ordained by Allah.

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The honourable role of motherhood

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Motherhood is a full-time career, entailing pregnancy, giving birth, breastfeeding, and many years of childrearing. These are sufficient responsibilities for one individual without adding the additional burden of having to provide for the family. It is part of Allah’s mercy that women are not required to work outside of the home to bring sustenance for their children. The burden, in most cases, would be more than she could bear. The ideal situation allows her to fulfil her primary responsibility to the best of her potential.

Having said that, being a mother does not necessarily preclude work outside of the home. For a woman with small children and no pressing need to work, it would be ideal for her to remain within the home in order to perform her role as mother to the best of her abilities. Women should understand that the greatest rewards come to her through her motherhood role. Building families must come first, as this is the main obligation for women. This notion should always be foremost in her mind.

There are some situations, however, where it may be necessary for a mother to work, such as to assist with the financial needs of the family or to satisfy the needs of society (for example, doctors, midwives, and teachers). The latter is considered to be a communal obligation that must be satisfied by some members of the community in order for the obligation to be removed. In these cases, the benefits must carefully be weighed against any harm that may arise. It is important to remember that personal responsibilities take precedence over communal responsibilities.

From the perspective of Islam, women are not completely prohibited from working, but the matter is one that should be given serious consideration and discussion before any decision is made. There are several key guidelines that should be followed when making this decision:

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1. a woman must first obtain consent from her husband, primarily due to the fact that he may have a broader perspective on how her work may influence the family and its functioning;

2. a woman must ensure that her home and children are properly taken care of and that there is no neglect in this aspect; her absence should not in any way cause harm to her family;

3. care must be taken to choose employment that is appropriate and fits with the special nature of the woman in accordance with the norms of Islamic law,

4. care must to taken to avoid jobs which may lead to transgression of the limits of Islam (such as excessive mixing of genders),

5. she must adhere to the principles of Islam with regard to her clothing and demeanour.

The role of fatherhood

Due to this responsibility, the father is the authority in the family and the leader of the family unit. No organization can function effectively without a manager, and in the family, the father takes care

. of this important role. In essence, this means that he is deserving of obedience from all family members and he has the final word in all

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decisions. This does not preclude discussion and compromise on important matters, but the father is worthy of due respect and obedience.

In cooperation with the mother, the father also attends to the spiritual, psychological, and intellectual socialization of their children. He must ensure that they are receiving a proper Islamic education, and he must assist them in acquiring praiseworthy characteristics and proper manners. This, of necessity, means that he must be involved in the training and rearing of his children. Many fathers neglect this duty in their overzealous attempt to fulfil the obligation for physical maintenance. In order for the family to function effectively, there must be a balance between these various rights and responsibilities.

Children need interaction and time with their father just as they do with their mother. This is particularly true for boys, who require a suitable male role model. Active fatherhood is central to a man’s role in life and to the development of his children. The children need to know that their father loves and cares for them, and that he has their best interests in mind. The Muslim father is an inspiring role model, teacher, friend, and a source of practical advice.

There is a great deal of research on the influence that involved fathering has on children. A review on the impact on fatherhood by the US National Institute of Child Health and Human Development shows that a child with an involved father has better social skills by the time s/he reaches nursery, performs better academically, and is less likely to have behavioural problems in the future. Once again, scientific research attests to the wisdom of Islamic teachings.

Nurturing one’s own eeman

It is valuable to mention that for parents to be maximally successful in their mission, they must focus some time on increasing

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their own eeman. The lessons that are acquired over the course of reading this book are not only applicable to children, but to those holding the book as well. This is, in reality, one of the purposes of this endeavour. A long standing tenet in the education field is that we tend to learn the most by teaching others. Parenting provides just such an invaluable opportunity. In addition to this material, parents need to explore other means to enhance their eeman, whether it be through seeking knowledge (essential), increasing worship, or contributing to the Muslim community. Doing this will make the task of nurturing, eeman in children all that much easier.

Basic rights of the child (Duties of parents)

The following are some of the basic rights of the child as reflected in the duties and responsibilities of parents:

“ The right to provisions and protection until adulthood

This includes food, clothing and shelter as provisions. It also entails protection against physical, emotional, intellectual and moral harm. This aspect begins at the time of conception and continues throughout pregnancy, childhood, and into adulthood.