Part 25

This is a process that does not come easily, as it requires a great struggle. This struggle, in the Islamic sense, is termed jihad. Jihad is an Arabic term that means to strive, struggle, and work to improve, and it can be applied to any effort exerted by a person. In an Islamic sense, the general meaning of jihad is to strive in the path of Allah or for the cause if Allah. Its goal is to establish the religion of Islam in our hearts, in our homes, in our communities, and in our countries. Allah indicates in the Qur’an,

(8 esi <Q Set al 35 Ee Hi Go Lge Selby And those who strive for Us — We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good.) (Quran 29: 69)

Jihad means to struggle against injustice, oppression, corruption, tyranny, exploitation, and the denial of basic human rights, It means to fight against sacrilege and blasphemy of Allah, His

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Messenger (34), and His Book. It means to strive against the enemies of Islam, both visible and unseen, for Satan has an army working with him. Allah (%) says,

ae ey LA thee

Ultimately, jihad is the struggle against Satan and his assistants, who appear in the form of jinn and humans.

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Few elements of the faith parallel jihad in status and honour. It is an integral component of Islam as it is a struggle for Allah and His religion. The striving is, in actuality, for the human being himself or herself, as this path leads to nearness to Allah, contentment of the soul, and the eventual goal of paradise in the hereafter. For this reason, some of the Companions used to take their children to the battlefield to teach them bravery and to instil in them a desire for

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jihad. These are the messages that we should give to our children regarding the status and importance of jihad.

Talk to them about the heroes of earlier generations, Islamic battles and victories

Talking to children about heroes in Islam and about Muslim victories will encourage them to be brave and courageous. This is an important part of being powerful and honourable, and developing a willingness to struggle against evil in all forms of jihad. Children are eager to have role models and they love to hear stories of heroism and bravery. This is particularly true for young boys. Their heroes should be the Companions and warriors who struggled for the sake of Allah. Their battlefields should be those of Islam against disbelief. They should be exposed to stories of brave companions who sacrificed their lives for the sake of Allah, the leaders of Muslim armies at various times throughout history, and the legendary Muslim scholars who struggled against injustice. They should be familiar with the history of Islam, the battles that occurred, and the victories that were achieved through the assistance of Allah.

Place Islam before ethnicity and nationality

Two major threats to the development of a Muslim identity are ethnicity and nationality. Allah (4g) actually warns about this several times in the Qur’an. He mentions,

And when it is said to them: Follow what Allah has revealed, they say: Rather, we will follow that which we found our fathers doing. Even though their fathers understood nothing, nor were they

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This has happened throughout history and it continues to this day. Many Muslims today place greater emphasis on their cultural traditions and nationality than they do on Islamic values and practices. This means that their national and ethnic identities are much stronger than their Islamic identity. Evidence of this is shown in the fact that mosques are often divided along ethnic or national lines and social groups are formed based upon these factors. A more frightening occurrence is to see people reject a matter in the Qur’an or the Hadith on some aspect because their family has “always done it another way” and they do not want to change. Often, the culture and traditions of the ethnic group are confused with Islam. Practices that are purely cultural may be attributed to Islam and vice versa.

Children should be taught that Muslim identity and Islam come before all else. Muslims are brothers and sisters to one another regardless of race, ethnicity, or nationality; and there is no superiority of one over the other in any of these. They must also understand that there is nothing more important than being a Muslim. There is grave danger in placing ethnicity or nationality above Islam as it may actually lead to various forms of misguidance and shirk. Of course, there is also the danger of the dominant culture for those living in the West. Although Islam accepts and recognizes the value and beauty of the variety of cultures, traditions, and languages, religion should be given priority when it comes to relevant matters.

Chapter 13 Enhancing the Islamic Personality and Building Self-Esteem

There are additional steps that can be taken to enhance the Islamic personality and identity of children as well as build strong self-esteem and confidence. These suggestions are discussed below with an emphasis on self-esteem.

Definitions of self-concept and self-esteem

Self-concept is a mental image of one’s self. It is comprised of terms that a person uses to describe himself or herself. Such terms may include outgoing, shy, curious, brave, intelligent, and so forth.

Self-esteem is the evaluation of information contained in a person’s self-concept. It is considered to be the level of confidence and satisfaction in one’s self. A person with high self-esteem feels confident and pleased with his or her concept or idea of himself or herself.

Research has found that children who are morally and spiritually conscious develop a sense of their own self-worth. Parents can assist children in developing an Islamic personality and high selfesteem. Self-esteem is an important factor in social and emotional

" See the full hadith cited below.

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adjustment. Children with high self-esteem are more capable of making good decisions, are proud of their accomplishments, are willing to take responsibility, and act independently. They are better able to cope with stressful situations and are enthusiastic about challenges. They also have the ability to handle positive and negative emotions and are more socially competent.

Nurture the special gifts from Allah

Each child is born with unique personality traits, temperaments, skills, abilities, and special gifts from Allah. These gifts were given to a child for a purpose. They should be nurtured and allowed to develop to their fullest capacity. Children should be taught to dedicate their talents and resources to Allah’s service. This gives value, purpose and direction in life. Parents play an important role in this regard. They first need to determine the special characteristics and gifts of each child and then find ways to enhance them. If a child’s natural abilities are not allowed to grow, this may negatively affect self-esteem.

Love your children abundantly

Parents should show their children how much they care for and love them. They should tell their children on a regular basis that they love them. Children should also be treated with respect and courtesy since actions often speak louder than words. Physical contact is essential, including such things as hugs, kisses, strokes, pats on the back. An important aspect also is that parents should spend time with their children whenever possible. This may involve playing games, talking, taking a walk, praying and reading the Qur’an together, going to the mosque, or sharing other favourite activities. A sense of humour also goes a long way in dealing with many situations and for strengthening the parent-child relationship.