Part 13

Looking at those two opinions, it seems best to choose the opinion of the Malikis. This is because if the fiancée is forced to return what was given of the dower, although he joined with her in buying the items or permitted her to do so, even if indirectly by not stopping her, that would cause her some harm because it will not be easy for her to sell those items at the same price that she bought them for. Furthermore, she may not need them and therefore she will face a financial penalty although she did not commit any wrong.

This is if the marriage was called off from the side of the husband. If it is called off from the fiancée’s side, the man has the definite right to demand what he had given as dower, in order to prevent him from being harmed.3

Ruling Concerning What Was Given as a Gift

There are four opinions among the jurists concerning requesting the fiancée to return what was given to her as a present.

The first opinion: It is allowed to retum the gift if the gift is still in the possession of the one to whom it is given and she had not done any kind of transaction with it that took it out of her possession. If it had been consumed or if it had been changed, such as material that was sewn, or if the woman had dispensed with it, then the man has no right to request its return or to seek something similar to it or its value.

3 Bidaayah al-Mujtabid wa Nibaayab al-Mugtasid by ibn Rushd, vol. 2, p. 21. 3 Al-Mudawwanabh al-Kubra, vol. 2, p. 177. 5 flbaar Aqd al-Zawaaj fi al-Shareeab al-Islaamiyyah by Ahmad Uthmaan, pp. 48-

‘The Figh of Marriage

Similarly, he cannot seek its return if it were perishable food items, even if it is still existing. This is the view of the Hanafis.!

The second opinion: Nothing of these gifts is to be retumed to the man, even if the marriage was called off by the woman, unless such has been made a condition or it is the prevailing custom among the people. This is the view of some of the Malikis.*

The third opinion: The man may request the return of all gifts no matter what type they were. If the gifts still exist as they were, they are to be returned. If one cannot return the actual gift, one must then return their value. This is the opinion of the majority of the Shafi’ees.3

The fourth opinion: If the proposal was ended by the party who had received the gifts, they must return the gifts. This is because the reason the presents were given was never fulfilled. If the proposal was ended by the party giving the gifts, he has no right to request the retum of the gifts. This is the opinion of al-Rafi’ee among the Shafi’ees, ibn Rushd and al-Liqaani of the Malikis and Shaikh al-Islaam ibn Taimiya.+

From the above presentation of the different views, it is clear that the most just opinion, without any doubt, is that the woman must return the gift itself, if it is still existing with her, or its value, if it has been destroyed or consumed, when the end to the engagement came from her side. This is because it is unjust for the man, the gift giver, to have to face the pain of his engagement coming to an end as well as endure a financial penalty. Similarly, if the engagement is broken off by the gift-giver, then the gifts are not returned to him so that the woman is not faced with the pain of the engagement being broken off and having to return the gifts she received.> Allah knows best.

5 Radd al-Mubtaar ala al-Durr al-Mukbtaar ‘by ibn Abideen, vol, 2, p. 374, 2 ‘4l-Furoog by al-Qaraafi, vol. a p. 148; Abkaam al-Abwaal al-Shakbsiyyab by jul Rahmaan Taaj, BP. 172-173, Hashiyataa alyooot wa Umairab ala Sharb al-Minbaaj, vol. 3, p. 216; Qawaaid qs -Abkaam, p. 56. Tebtiyaaraat ibn Taimiyab, p. 138; Bidaayab al-Mujtabid, vol. 2, pp. 21-23; al-

eer Aq al-Zawaaj fi al-Shareeab al-Islaamiyyah, p. 50.

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Engagement Rings: Their Ruling for Either Men or Women

An engagement ring is often one of those gifts that the fiance gives the fiancée before the marriage contract. This is a newly adopted custom and an objectionable innovation.

The engagement is actually just an initial request and preparatory step towards the marriage and it is only by the marriage itself that the rights and obligations are established. That is the nature of the engagement or proposal. However, some people— may Allah guide them— have introduced many customs and forms into the engagement. For the proposal or engagement, they have a big party in which they invite members of the man’s family and members of the woman’s family. They prepare special foods, desserts, coffee and tea for that occasion. They have other customs and practices for that occasion as well; in some lands there are more while in others there are fewer. They do that to announce the engagement. On that occasion, some of the Muslims recite surah al-Faatiha. Also, the fiance gives the fiancée an engagement ring. The engagement becomes known to everybody by the woman wearing the engagement ring. There is nothing in Islam that indicates that such a practice should take place. In fact, it is following the customs of others, as such a practice was a Pharaonic practice while others say that it is the custom of the Christians.! In any case, the exchange of engagement rings is a foreign practice that has been adopted by Muslims and it does not form part of the religion at all.

“The jurists are agreed that it is permissible for the women to wear a gold ring and that such is forbidden for men.” The evidence that gold rings are forbidden for men and permissible for women are too many to recount. Such evidence includes what Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) prohibited gold rings [for men].3

The Figh of Marriage

Ibn Umar stated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to have a ring of gold and he would wear it on his right hand. The people then followed suit and wore gold rings. Then the Prophet (peace be upon him) discarded it and said,

Ogi LY “I will never wear it.” So the people also discarded their rings."

It has been stated that Abu Bakr ibn Hazm said that such rings are permissible for men and it has also been narrated from another that such rings are simply disliked and not forbidden. In his commentary to Sahih Muslim,2 al-Nawawi wrote, “Those two reports are incorrect and those who stated them are defeated by these hadith.”

Furthermore, it is a case of blind imitation and resembling the disbelievers. The Prophet (peace be upon him) warned us about

resembling, imitating and following the disbelievers. Ibn Umar narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,

ose 230 0% ce gee ee ot Cott Aw oe “Whoever resembles a people is one of them.”3

The prohibition due to that cause, due to the act of imitation or resembling the disbelievers, includes all forms of engagement rings, whether they are of gold or of other material. Furthermore, this prohibition covers equally both men and women.

The Muslim who resembles the disbelievers, in any form of outward resemblance, such as in his clothing, manners or movements, is indicating that he has an inward feeling of love for them that is demonstrated by his resembling them. This is true because imitation comes from being pleased with them or from a feeling that the others are

' Recorded by Muslim in his Sahib (#2091), the Book of Dress, Chapter on the erie of of gold Tings for men. 3 Vol.

Vol 14 by Abu Dawood (#4031); Ahmad in a/-Musnad, vol. 2, p. 50; Shaikh alIslam ibn Taimiyah considered its chain food, as he stated in I a 1a al-Siraat alMustageem, vol. 1, p. 236 and Majmoo al-Fatawa, vol. 25, p. 331

‘The Figh of Marriage

better than the person himself. This implies ignorance of the laws of the religion. A Muslim must have [due to his being a believer in Allah]

enough self-respect that it keeps him from falling into these types of acts of imitation.

‘The Figh of Marriage

Chapter Two Announcing the Marriage and Making it Known

The Ruling Concerning Making the Marriage Known

The majority of the scholars say that making the marriage known publicly is a recommended act.

Al-Zuhri was of the opinion that the announcing of the marriage is obligatory. In fact, he said that if secret marriage is contracted and two male witnesses were present but those witnesses were ordered to keep the marriage secret, then one must separate the man and the woman. The woman is then to enter her waiting period and she is to receive her dower. If they insist on getting married before her waiting period is over, they may remarry but they must publicly announce the marriage.!

The Meaning of Announcing the Marriage

To announce the marriage is to publicize it and spread the news about it.

1 Al-Mausooab al-Fighiyyab, vol. 5, p. 262 (Wizaarah al-Auqaaf, Kuwait).

‘The Figh of Marriage

What Constitutes Announcing the Marriage

This can be done by beating the handdrum and by permissible singing. It is preferred on joyous occasions to spread joy and happiness among the people. Such occasions include the days of eid, weddings, when a person who has been gone arrives, wedding feasts, ageegahs! or at the time of having a child. Islam permits joy, happiness and pleasure within the limits of general manners and the confines of the shareeah, It is something that relaxes one soul and the soul craves such feelings according to what is natural in humans; and Islam is the religion of proper behavior and of what fits the natural tendency of humans. It is also a realistic or practical religion and it is not based on unreachable examples or dreams. Instead, it deals with humans on practical grounds and in our earthly existence. It deals with humans as beings that eat food and walk through the marketplaces. For that reason, it does not require that every word that comes from his mouth be a type of remembrance of Allah or that every moment of silence is in deep introspection or that everything he hears is only the Quran or that all of his free time is spent in the mosque. Islam recognizes his natural inclinations and needs that Allah has made in him. And Allah has created him with that natural inclination towards happiness and joyfulness in the same way that he is inclined to food and drink.