Part 24

" He js referring to the hadith which states, "Fear Allah with respect to women for they are like captives among you.” Recorded by al-Tirmidhi (#1163), the Book on Fostering, Chapter on the right of a woman over her husband, ibn Maajah (#1851), Ahmad, vol. 5, pp. 72-73 and others. [The narration in al-Tirmidhi begins with the words, "I advise you to treat women well." According to al-Albaani, this hadith is hasan. See al-Albaani, sahih Sunan al-Tirmidbi, vol. 1, p. 341. Many commentators do not fo as far as ibn Taimiyah in interpreting said hadith. For example, the Maliki jurist Abu Bakr ibn al-Arabi stated, in his commentary to Sunan al-Tirmidbi, that the wife is a captive only in the sense that she is not allowed to leave her house without her husband’s permission and she is not free to spend of his wealth without his permission. See Abu Bakr ibn al-Arabi, Aaridbat al-Abwadbi biSharh Sabeeh al-Tirmidbi (Beirut: Dar al-Kutub al-Ilmiyyah, n.d.), vol. 5, p. See Majmoo al-Fataawa.

The Figh of Marriage

unconditional are specified by what is customarily the practice. The customary practice is that the wife serves the husband and takes care of the internal affairs of the house. They [who say that the wife is not obliged to serve the husband] argue that the actions of Faatimah and Asmaa were voluntary acts and acts of goodness. However, this argument is refuted by noting that Faatimah was complaining about the effects of her acts of serving her husband. The Prophet (peace be upon him) did not tell Ali, “She does not serve you, but you must do it.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) was never partial toward anyone in his judgments. When he saw Asmaa and the fodder was upon her head and al-Zubair was with her [meaning her husband], he [the Prophet (peace be upon him)] did not say to him, “She does not have to serve you and you are committing wrong toward her.” In fact, he approved of the service they were doing and he approved of what the other Companions were doing with respect to their wives serving them, although he knew that some of them were displeased with that while others were pleased. This is a matter concerning which there is no doubt.!

However, this does not mean that the husband does not assist his

wife or do some of the chores if he can during some times when his wife is in need of that. In fact, the husband doing some of those chores and helping his wife when she is in need is evidence of a noble character. It

is also part of dealing with his wife in a kind and good manner. For that reason, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)

was never too proud—and he was the leader of the Nation and the one of best character— to perform some chores in order to help his wives. This is indicated in the narration from the Mother of the Believers Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who said, when she was asked about what the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) used to do in

1 See Zaad al-Maad, vol. 5, pp. 187-188.

The Figh of Marriage

the house, “He would help his wife— meaning serve his wife— but when the time for prayer came, he would leave to the prayer.”!

When Rugqayyah, the daughter of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), fell ill, Uthmaan ibn Affaan stayed behind from the Battle of Badr in order to tend to her and look after her.? Furthermore, the husband should take into consideration the circumstances of his wife and he should not overburden her or make her do things that are beyond her capability.

(6) Protecting His Honor, Children and Wealth

The wife must protect her chastity and be careful about and avoid anything that might stain her honor and hurt her reputation. She should not to do anything that demonstrates a lack of religiousness or a shortcoming in modesty. She must be careful] about exposing herself and displaying her beauty to anyone other than those who are allowed to see her.

If she is lacking with respect to any of those matters, then she is not protecting her husband’s honor according to the amount of that shortcoming. Worse than all of that is where the married woman has a child through illegal sexual intercourse and attributes that child to her husband— and we ask Allah to protect us. The Prophet (peace be upon him) gave a very strong and severe warning concerning such an act. He stated,

' Recorded by al-Bukhari (#676), Book on the Call to Prayer, Chapter on the one who is helping his wife and the prayer is established so he leaves; and (#5363), Book on Expenditures, Chapter on the man serving his wife; and (6039) Book on Manners, chapter on how the man should be while he is with his wife.

See Sahib al-Bukbari (#3698).

‘The Figh of Marriage

“Any woman who brings to a people one who is not from them [that is, by illegal sexual intercourse] will have nothing to do with Allah and Allah will not enter her into Paradise.”!

Similarly, she should protect her husband with respect to his children by bringing them up in a good way and teaching them the best characteristics and most beautiful manners. She should also protect his wealth by not spending it in ways that he does not want or approve. She also should not burden him by getting him to spend on things that are not needed or that have some aspect of waste or extravagance to them.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) praised the women of the Quraish. He said about them,

oh ges) eS, ope oily be ast “They are the most merciful (ahnaah) to the child when he is young and the most tending to the husband with respect to what he owns.”? Ahnaah means they are compassionate. The woman who is haaniyah is the one who brings up her child in a proper way and if the father dies, she does not remarry but spends her time looking after the children. “Most tending to the husband” means that she guards and protects his wealth, his trust concerning it, and she protects it for him and does not waste his

money with any frivolous spending.

' Recorded by Abu Dawood (#2263), Book on Divorce, Chapter on severe warning concerning denying one’s child; al-Nasaai, vol. 6, 1 179, Book on Divorce, Chapter on severe warning concerning denying one’s child; al-Daarimi, yol. 2, p. 153, Book on Marriage, Chapter on one who denies his child while he recognizes him to be his child. Ibn Hibbaan (#1335 from Muwaarid) concerned it sabib and its chain is excellent. {According to al-Albaani, this hadith is weak. See al-Albaani, Dhaeef alJpami al-Sagheer, p re

Recorded by al-Bukhari (45082), Book on Marriage, Chapter on who is to be married and which women are best.

The Figh of Marriage

(7) Being Thankful to the Husband, Not Denying His Virtues and Treating Him in a Good Manner

This aspect is proven by what is recorded in the two Sahihs from ibn Abbaas who stated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) stated during the address he gave after a solar eclipse, “I saw the Hell-fire and I have never seen any sight like what I have seen today. I saw that most of its inhabitants were women.” They said, “Why, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Due to their lack of gratitude.” They said, “Are they ungrateful toward Allah?” He said, “They are ungrateful to their husbands and they are ungrateful with respect to the goodness done to them. If one of you were to do good to one of them his whole life and then she sees from you something she does not like, she will say, ‘I have never seen any good from you.’”!

In a narration in Musnad Ahmad with a hasan chain, it states that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Most of who I saw therein were women who when confided in spread it about, when asked are stingy and when given are not thankful.”2

In general, those are the rights of the husband. They can be all summed up in one general statement: The rights of the husband are that he be treated in a good and polite manner and that he does not hear, see or find anything in his wife except all that is good and beautiful.

The Rights of the Wife

The wife also has rights over her husband. Some of these rights are financial while others are not financial. The financial rights include the dower, discussed earlier, and maintenance, which shall be explained shortly by the help of Allah.

1 Recorded by al-Bukhari (#29), Book on Faith, Chapter on being ungrateful to husbands and kufr which is less than [the greater] ku/r [that takes one out of the fold of Islam]; and (#5197), Book on Marriage, Chapter on being ungrateful to the husband; Sabib Muslim (#884).

See Fath al-Baari, vol. 2, pp. 540-542.

‘The Figh of Marriage The non-financial rights of the wife include the following:

(1) Treating the Wife in a Kind and Good Manner

“Treating the wife in a kind and good manner” actually comprises all of the rights. If other rights are mentioned after this one, it is a case of mentioning a particular aspect in order to give it special attention after it has already been touched upon by a general term.

“Treating in a kind and good manner” implies accompanying them in a good way, keeping harm from them, not delaying in fulfilling their rights when one has the ability to fulfill them and demonstrating pleasure and happiness with them.

The basis for this is the statement of Allah,

yiraly Gay ne, “And treat them in a good and kind manner” (al-Nisaa 19). Allah also

says, Sly ale gah he ay “And they have rights similar to those over them according to what is reasonable” (al-Bagarah 228). Ibn Abbaas stated, “I love to beautify myself for the wife in the same way that I love for her to beautify herself for me because Allah has said, ‘And they have rights similar to those over them according to what is reasonable’ (al-Bagarah 228).” Tbn Katheer stated in his commentary to the words, “And they have rights similar to those over them according to what is reasonable,”

That is, make the words you say to them good, make your deeds and behavior toward them good according to your ability. In the same way that you would like that from them, you should behave in that way toward them. As Allah says, “And they have rights similar to those over them according to what is reasonable.” And the Prophet