Part 25

‘The Figh of Marriage

(peace be upon him) said, “The best of you is the best to his family and I am the best to my family.”!

Included in good behavior is being kind and gentle with them and not harming them. One should also overlook their shortcomings as long as it is not something related to the law of Allah. The Prophet (peace be upon him) alluded to this behavior when he said,

PV Ug ey Ue Wee 0 S Of Ale Cop SY “A believing man should not hate a believing woman since if he dislikes one of her characters, he is pleased with another.”

Also included in this category is that the man should not hurt his wife with either his actions or his speech. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked by one of the Companions, “What is the right of our wives upon us?” He replied,

yourself, you get clothing for her; do not strike the face; do not swear at her; and do not boycott her except in the house.”

1 Recorded by al-Tirmidhi (#3892), Book on Virtues, Chapter on the virtues of the wives of the Prophet (peace be upon him); al-Daarimi, vol. 2, p. 159; and graded Sabib by ibn Hibbaan (#1312).

Recorded by Muslim (#1469), Book on Breastfeeding, Chapter on advice goncerning women.

Recorded by Abu Dawood (#2142), Book on Marriage, Chapter on the right of the woman on her husband; ibn Maajah (#1850), Book on Marriage, Chapter on the right of the woman upon the husband; Ahmad in al-Musnad, vol. 4, p. 447 and vol. 5, pp. 3-5; and al-Haakim graded it sabsb in al-Mustadrak, vol. 2, p. 188.

‘The Figh of Marriage

(2) Teaching Her the Matters of the Religion and Supporting Her in Acts of Obedience to Allah

In essence, this means that he teaches her if she is ignorant and he reminds her if she forgets and, finally, he supports and helps her when she remembers [and does what should be done]. The most important matter [to learn] is the proper belief in the oneness of Allah (tauheed) and the beliefs and practices of the early generations of Muslims, as well as what goes along with the acts of worship and behavior.

Allah has stated in the Quran,

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“O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a

fire whose fuel is people and stones” (al-Tahreem 6). Ibn Umar narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,

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“Man is responsible over his family and he will be asked about his responsibility.”!

This also includes keeping the wife from having bad manners and characteristics, such as going out in public while displaying herself and everything that damages her modesty or lessens her faith, He must feel honor with respect to her and protect her and guard every aspect that protects her dignity.

! Part of a hadith recorded by al-Bukhari (#5188), Book on Marriage, Chapter See te CE and your families from a fire,” as well as in other places in his Sabib; {uslim (#1829), Book on Governmental Authority, Chapter on the virtues of a just ruler.

The Figh of Marriage

(3) Maintaining Her Chastity

Women also have natural desires. It is therefore a must upon the husband to comply with them so that she will keep herself from doing anything forbidden. This is part of the completeness of treating her in a good manner, The concern of the Lawgiver for the chastity of the wife can be seen in the fact that Allah has set a specific time limit for the one who swears not to have intercourse with his wife and if the man does not have intercourse with his wife before that time limit expires, the two will be separated. Allah says in the Quran,

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“Those who take an oath not to have sexual intercourse with their wives must wait for four months, but if they return [during this period}, then Allah is forgiving, merciful” (al-Bagarah 226). This indicates that it is obligatory to do that act that will keep the wife chaste. The longest period without that act is what is mentioned by Allah in that verse.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) instructed Uthmaan ibn Madhoon as to this right of his wife upon him when he was cutting himself off from them for the purposes of worship,

“Your wife has a right upon you.”!

The Muslim must do his best to take care of this aspect and give his wife her right.

It is narrated that Kaab ibn Soor was sitting with Umar ibn alKhattaab (may Allah be pleased with him) when a woman came and said, “O Commander of the Faithful! I have never seen any man more virtuous than my husband. By Allah, he spends the night in prayer and

' Part of a hadith recorded by al-Bukhari in his Sabib (#1977), Book on Fasting, Chapter “Your wife has a right upon you”; Muslim (#1159), Book on Fasting, Chapter on the prohibition of continual fasting.

‘The Figh of Marriage

his day in fasting.” He asked Allah to forgive her and he praised her. The woman was shy so she stood and left. Kaab said, “O Commander of the Faithful, won’t you assist the woman with respect to her husband?” Umar replied, “Why?” He said, “She came to you complaining about him. If that is his situation with respect to acts of worship, when does he ever have any free time for her?” Umar sent someone to fetch her husband and he came. Umar said to Kaab, “Decide the matter for them for you understood from their affair what I did not understand.” He said, “In my opinion, she is like a woman who has three other co-wives and she is the fourth. So he may have three days and nights for worship and one day and night for her.” Umar said, “By Allah, your first opinion is not more amazing to me than your second view [just now]. Go and you shall be the judge for the people of Basrah.”!

{4) Financially Maintaining the Wife

Maintaining the wife is a necessary right of the wife. It is inclusive of food, clothing and housing according to the situation of the husband and what is within his means. Allah has made it obligatory in His statement,

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“The father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis. No person shall have a burden laid on him greater than he can bear” (al-Bagarah 233). In his commentary to this verse, ibn Katheer wrote, “That is, it is upon the father of the child to spend upon the mothers and clothe them according to what is reasonable, in other words, according to what is customary for people

" See al-Musannaf, vol. 7, p. 148, by Abdul Razzaaq, Book on Divorce, Chapter on the right of the woman upon her husband; Tabagaat ibn Saad, vol. 7, p. 52. Ibn Qudaamah related this incident in a/-Mughni, vol. 10, p. 238, and said, “This incident became well-known and no one objected to it. Hence, it became like a consensus.”

‘The Figh of Marriage

like them, without extravagance or miserliness, according to his ability with respect to his being of means, moderate wealth or poverty.”! It is also confirmed that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,

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“Fear Allah with respect to women. You have taken them by the trust with Allah and have made their private parts permissible by the word of Allah... Their rights upon you are that you provide for them and clothe them according to what is right and customary.”

Al-Bukhari and Muslim recorded that Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyaan (may Allah be pleased with both of them) came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyaan is a miserly man. He does not give me enough to maintain myself and my child. So I take from his wealth without his knowledge. Is there any sin upon me for that?” He replied,

Be ASF y Has Le by RAIL Ile Ge gid

“Take from his wealth according to what is customary as will suffice for you and for your child.”3

The above indicate that it is obligatory upon the husband to spend upon his wife what is sufficient for her and her children according to what is customary and correct. It also indicates that the wife may take from her husband’s wealth if he refuses to give her what she needs, even if she takes it without his knowledge as long as it is the customary, acceptable amount.

1 See Tafseer ibn Katheer, vol. 1, p. 304 (Daar al-Salaam Publications, 1413 AH.).

2 Recorded by Muslim in his Sahih (#1218), Book on the Pilgrimage, Chapter on the pilgrimage of the Prophet (ee be upon him).

‘ecorded by al-Bukhari (#5364), Book on Expenditures, Chapter on if the husband does not spend on his wife, she may take from his wealth what is sufficient for herself and her child according to what is customary and without his knowledge; Muslim (#1714), Book on Judgments, Chapter on the judgment for Hind.

‘The Figh of Marriage

However, the wife must not overburden her husband with numerous requests. She should be satisfied and happy with little, especially if her husband is in straitened circumstances and has little wealth. It is confirmed that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,

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“The first thing that destroyed the Tribes of Israel is when the wife of a poor person would burden him for clothing or fashion like the way the

wife of a rich man would burden him.” It is also confirmed that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,

Nb SBS gh oe NM Ny fa Vy See Jeol ge oe ol ly bai pole al dani Iyyog Y of jal

“Look to one who has less than you and do not look at one who has more than you as this is more likely keep you from finding fault with the blessings of Allah upon you.” This is with respect to worldly matters. With respect to aspects related to the religion, one should look at one who is better than him in order to be encouraged to do more good deeds and get closer to Allah.