Part 8

Note: What is commonly spread on the tongues of the people is that a woman objected to Umar’s statement and said, “You have just prohibited the people from having exorbitant dowers while Allah says in His book, ‘If you have given one of them a great amount [gintaar], do not take any of it back.’” Umar then said two or three times, “Everyone has a better understanding than Umar.” Then he went back to the minbar and said, “I prohibited you from exorbitant dower. Listen, a man should do with his wealth what he sees he should do.” This report, though, is weak and rejected. It is narrated by Mujaalid on the authority of al-Shabi from Umar. Al-Baihaqi recorded it and said, “This has a broken chain.” I say: In addition to it having a broken chain, it is weak due to Mujaalid, who is ibn Saeed, and he is not strong. Furthermore, its text is objectionable for the verse does not negate the advice that Umar gave conceming exorbitant dowers.

We must take a fresh look at this phenomenon that has spread throughout the Muslim lands, but is particularly common in the Arabian peninsula. Insisting on exorbitant dowers is actually to no one’s benefit. It has made life very difficult for the people. They, as well as both the guardians of the man and the woman, are fed up with it and becoming very unhappy with this evil custom. No intelligent person could witness the many young men who cannot get married and how they are trying to amass wealth as well as what is happening among the generation concerning women displaying their persons in public and the evil that is spreading except that he will be convinced that the dowers must be made as accessible as possible.

‘The Figh of Marriage

Since people differ with respect to how rich or poor they are, the financial situation of the prospective husband must be taken into consideration. A man must not be asked for something which is beyond what he can bear. That may force him to then seek a loan or ask others for help. In fact, it might even drive him to extend his hand to forbidden sources of wealth or to knock on the doors of questionable avenues in order to gather together the money he needs for his fiancée’s dower.

Tbn Qudaamah stated in al-Mughni,

It is not preferred to have a dower in excess of what the Prophet (peace be upon him) gave his wives. This is because if the amount of the dower is increased, the person may not be able to meet it and he may face some harm in this life and the Hereafter.!

The correct position is that it is questionable to say that exorbitant dowers are permissible unconditionally or to say that exorbitant dowers are forbidden unconditionally. The correct view is to take the different cases into consideration and conclude that if the shareeah causes are present, it is permissible to have a very large dower. However, if such a large dower leads to harm or evil, it is not permissible.

This is the choice of Shaikh al-Islam ibn Taimiya. In alIkhtiyaaraat he wrote,

If the dower that is given at the time of the marriage is a lot but the person has the means to pay it, it is not reprehensible, unless it is accompanied by an act that makes it reprehensible, such as boasting about it or something of that nature. However, if the person is not able to pay such an amount, it is disliked. In fact, it is forbidden if the person cannot amass it save by begging or other forbidden means.”

' Vol. 10, p. 101, Hajr publishing in Egypt, first edition, 1410 AH., edited by Dr. alJurki and Dr. Hilu.

Al-lkbtiyaaraat al-Fighiyah min Fataawa Shaikh al-lslaam ibn Taimiyab, p. 227, al-Sunnah al-Muhammadiyah, Cairo.

The Figh of Marriage

In Ahkaam al-Quran, Abu Bakr ibn al-Arabi stated, “The people vie in boasting about the dowers to the point that the dower reaches one million and very few can amass that amount through means which are permissible.”! Furthermore, when the husband is overburdened by the dower and other necessary spending for the marriage, he develops a hatred in his heart for his new wife and the results are the opposite of what they are supposed to be in a marriage, as was discussed earlier.

We do not reject the reality nor are we ignorant of the fact that society has different classes with respect to wealth, poverty, ability to spend and inability to spend. However, at the very least, the dower should take into consideration the social class of the husband and wife. If there is no hardship upon the man and the act is not done for boasting, competing against others or extravagance and the dower is from permissible sources, then there is no problem concerning its amount [even if it is great].

As for the poor person, he should not be asked for a dower that he cannot attain except through hardship. The guardians of the woman should not seek such from him. Remember, the dower is a gift anda present to the woman. It does not make any sense that the giver is required to provide such a present that would cause him difficulty.

At the same time, we must not get to the point that we neglect the importance of the dower and simply stress its harm and, therefore, say that it should be done away with. Certainly this cannot be done. We reject this approach from its very roots because we will never accept any going to extremes with the law of Allah concerning honoring the woman and demonstrating how precious she is. We reject this in the same way that we reject the concept that has captured the minds of many people with respect to the amount of the dower that is equally burdening our young men and women.

We also reject the justification that some young men give for refusing to marry the women of their country because they claim that the dowers are too high and they therefore marry women from other countries. We reject this because we know of many guardians who do not ask for exorbitant dowers nor do they put such as a condition for

1 Abkaam al-Quran, vol. 1, pp. 364-365.

The Figh of Marriage

marriage. On the contrary, they ask for a dower that is more of a token than anything else in order to follow the sunnah. At the same time, these same guardians give a great deal of wealth to their daughters, much more than what the husband gives to them.

When the Woman is Entitled to Her Entire Dower

The jurists agree that it is certain that the entire dower must be paid to the woman as the result of a sound marriage that has been consummated or in which the husband has died.! This is true regardless of whether the amount of the dower was explicitly stated or if it were a dower that was unstated and the same as women who are similar to the wife. None of the obligation of paying the entire dower is to be dropped unless it was already paid or if the one who has the right to it gives it up of her own accord.

In addition to the two above mentioned cases [of consummation or death], the following causes are added that also require the woman to be paid her entire dower:

According to the strongest opinion among the scholars, the woman is entitled to her entire dower as a result of a complete seclusion with her husband after a valid marriage [even if they did not consummate the marriage]. According to the Malikis, the woman is entitled to her complete dower if she spends one year in the house of her husband, even if they did not have sexual intercourse. According to the Hanbalis, she is also entitled to her complete dower if the husband is on his deathbed and divorces her only to prevent her from inheriting from him, even if such is done before consummation. Imam Ahmad specifically stated that any kind of physical pleasure, such as kissing, with the wife, even if it is less than sexual intercourse and not in private, requires that the woman receive her entire dower.

A more detailed discussion of the above aspects follows.

| Bidaayab al-Mujtabid wa Nibaayab al-Mugtasid by ibn Ibn Rushd al-Maaliki, vol. 1, pp. 22-23 (al-lstqiaamah publishing, Cairo); Qawaaneen al-Abkaam alShartyyab by ibn Juzayy, p. 226.

The Figh of Marriage

This implies any sexual intercourse or sexual contact, even if in a forbidden fashion, whether it be through the vagina or anus, as long as the man’s private part has entered the woman, and even if it be when she is menstruating, post-partum hemorrhaging, performing the pilgrimage, fasting or in seclusion in the mosque. The dower must then be paid in return for what the person has done. The man has received his right by such consummation and, therefore, the woman is entitled to her entire dower.!

This is based on Allah’s words,

WE Nyild GIA EIT y 95 1K 95 ists ohoyf Oy “But if you want to replace one wife with another and you have given

one of them a great amount [gintaar], do not take any of it back” (alNisaa 20).2 And the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,

TU GEES by GEKS WI 05 Se LESS ofa va

ool Me we tee ee me a ee eee oe JREad Coy eel CGB Lee oto Ob JU GS “Tf any woman gets married without the permission of her guardian, then her marriage is void; then her marriage is void; then her marriage is

void. If he consummated with her, she is entitled to her dower since her private part was taken advantage of.” If the woman is entitled to all of

5) ALFigh al-Islaami wa Adillatubu by Dr. Wahbah al-Zuhaili, vol. 7, p. 289.

[This is the verse that is mentioned in the text. Most likely, it is a mistake as this verse does not prove the point that was being made. The verse that the author was probably referring to was, “So with those of whom ou have enjoyed sexual relations, give them their dower as prescribed” (a/-Nisaa 24). This verse indicates that sexual Selations entitles the woman to her entire dower. Allah knows best —JZ]

Recorded by Abu Dawood (#2083) in the Book of Marriage, Chapter on the guardian; al-Tirmidhi (#1102) in the Book of Marriage, Chapter “There is no marriage except with a guardian”; Ibn Hibbaan ILS) and al-Haakim (vol. 2, p. 168) declared it authentic. It is a sabib hadith.