Part 16

Al-Muwaafiq ibn Qudaamah stated in al-Mughni, “There is no difference of opinion that it is not obligatory. What they mentioned [the Shafi’ees who say it is obligatory] has no basis. So the report [above] is interpreted to imply recommendation.”2

The Timing of the Wa/eemah

The early scholars differed over the timing of the waleemah: Is it at the time of the marriage contract, right after the contract is concluded, when the marriage is consummated, right after the marriage is consummated or is it from the time of contract until after consummation?

[The scholars have] differed. Al-Qaadhi Iyaadh stated that the strongest opinion among the Malikis is that it is preferred after the consummation while a group of them says it should be at the time of the contract. Ibn Jundub mentions both the time of the contract and after consummation.>

Al-Subki, a Shafi’ee, stated,

5 Nail al-Autaar by al-Shaukaani, vol. 6, p. 198.

AlL-Mughni, vol. 10, p. 193. [The text in Arabic was not clear. The above translation is based on what ibn Qudaamah wrote in al-Mughni itself —JZ]

Nail al-Autaar, vol. 6, pp. 198-199.

‘The Figh of Marriage

What is narrated from the actions of the Prophet (peace be upon him) is that it is after consummation. In the hadith of Anas, recorded by al-Bukhari and others, it is clearly stated that it was after consummation, as it says, “He became a newlywed with Zainab and he invited the people...” This is what the Malikis base their view on. The Hanbalis say that the sunnah is for it to be at the time of the marriage contract. The custom has become that it is done just prior to the consummation.

In al-Insaaf it states, “The preferred opinion is to say that the preferred time stretches from anytime from the time of the contract to the last days of being a newlywed, as there are authentic reports on that matter. Furthermore, the complete happiness comes after the consummation.”!

That is the correct opinion. Allah knows best.

The Amount of the Wa/eemah and What It Consists Of

Based on what the Prophet (peace be upon him) said to Abdul Rahman ibn Auf, “Give a wedding feast even if it just be a sheep,”? the scholars say that it is preferred for one who has the means to offer a feast of no less than a sheep. However, it is confirmed that the Prophet (peace be upon him) himself had a wedding feast for one of his wives with something less than a sheep.

Al-Bukhari recorded from Safiyyah bint Shaibah who said, “The Prophet (peace be upon him) gave a wedding feast for one of his wives with just two mudds> of barley.”4 Al-Bukhari also recorded that the Prophet (peace be upon him) freed Safiyyah and married her, with her dowry being her freedom. He gave a wedding feast for her consisting

3 Ab-Insaaf fi Marifab al-Raajib min al-Kbilaaf by al-Mardaawi, vol. 8, p. 317. 3 his [authentic] hadith was discussed earlier: fd is an amount; it is equivalent to what a man with normal sized hands can eon up with his two hands cuj ped together. ] -Sabeeh (#5173), the Book of Marriage, Chapter on having a wedding feast with less than a sheep.

The Figh of Marriage

of hais.! Hais is ameal made up of dates mixed with dry yogurt, flour or butter. That is how it is defined in Fath al-Baari2 Al-Qaadhi Iyaadh stated,

The [scholars] agree that there is no upper limit to what may be given as a wedding feast. The same is true for its minimum amount. Whatever is easy upon the person will suffice. The preferred feast is what in accordance with the ability of the husband.+

As for its length, it is two days long. The early scholars differed over having it for more than two days. Some disliked it while others allowed it.

| Al-Saheeb (#5169), the Book of Marriage, Chapter on having a wedding feast even if with just one sheep. Vol. 9, p. 237 (al-Salafiyah edition).

[As the author will exprain later, in all things, extravagance is forbidden, as is clear in numerous places in the Quran. Allah says, “And those who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor niggardly, but hold a medium between those tetremes]” (al-Furgaan 67). “O children of Adam! Take your adornment while praying and eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He likes not those who waste by extravagance” (al-Araaf 31). For more on the question of extravagance and the wedding feast, see Abdullah al-Tiraiqi, Al-Israaf: Diraasab Fighiyyab Mugaarinah bain al-Madbaabib al-Arbaab (Riyadh: published by its author, 1992), pp. 217224. One of the aspects that al-Tiraiqi mentions in particular is the preparing of more food than is expected to be eaten. This leads that food to be thrown away and this is a great misuse of this blessing from Allah. The person, he states, will be asked about that bounty on the Day of Judgment, as Allah says, “Then on that Day you shall be asked about the bounties [you were privileged with in this world]” (al-Takaathur

—Z) Fath al-Baari bi-Sharh sahih al-Bukbaari, vol. 9, p. 235; Nail al-Autaar, vol. 6,

g [It seems that the strongest opinion is that three days is both permissible and also part of the sunnah. This is based on a basan hadith in Musnad Abu Yala which States, LAPS By) fers Yilis Yate Jar y die < 43 “The Prophet (peace be upon him) married Safiyah and made her freedom her mabr and made the waleemab three days long.” Allah knows best—JZ]

Sharh sahih Muslim, vol. 9, p. 234.

‘The Figh of Marriage

The Invitation to Attend the Wa/eemah

It is the practice in Islam for the husband to feed, his family, companions and neighbors during the waleemah. He should also set aside a portion for the poor and indigent as a way of expressing thanks to Allah and recognizing Allah’s bounty upon him.

The husband must also do his best to invite the pious and good people. He also should not distinguish between the rich and poor. The Prophet (peace be upon him) has prohibited such a practice. Abu Hurairah stated, “The worst food is the food of the wedding feast in which only the rich are invited and the poor are avoided. And whoever does not respond to the invitation has disobeyed Allah and His Messenger.” Although this is a statement of a Companion, in its ruling it is treated as having its source with the Prophet (peace be upon him).

Al-Nawawi stated in Sharh sahih Muslim, “This is stating what the people did after him [the Prophet (peace be upon him)] of tending to the rich in their dinners and other events. They would invite them in particular and give them preference in having the best food and the best places to sit and so forth, as is the case in most dinners. And Allah alone is the one who can he resorted to for help.”?

On this point, ibn Masood said, “If only the rich are invited and the poor are left out, we have been ordered not to respond to such an invitation.” Ibn Bataal said, “If the host distinguishes between the rich and poor and feeds each one separately, there is no harm in that. Ibn Umar did such.”3

' Recorded by al-Bukhari (#5177), the Book of Marriage, Chapter on the one who does not answer the invitation has disobeyed Allah and His Messenger; Muslim (#1432), the Book of Marriage, Chapter on the order to respond to the invitation en one is invited. The wording above is from al-Bukhari. 3 Sharh Sabeeb Muslim, vol. 9, p. 237. Fath al-Baari, vol. 9, p. 245.

‘The Fight of Marriage

The Ruling Concerning Answering the Invitation for the One Who is Not Fasting

Scholars are agreed that it is sanctioned to answer the invitation to a waleemah. Some say that it is an individual obligation upon the person who was invited— however, that obligation may be dropped if the invited person has an acceptable excuse, and such excuses shall be discussed shortly, Allah willing. Ibn Taimiyah concluded that the stronger opinion is that it is only recommended. Furthermore, the ruling for a woman is the same on this point as for a man, unless it involves being in private seclusion with men, which is forbidden.

The scholars differ concerning invitations other than that of the wedding feast. Malik and the majority of the scholars say that itis recommended to respond to any other invitation. The Dhahiris (Literalists) say that it is obligatory to respond to every invitation, whether it be a wedding feast or otherwise. That was also the opinion of some of the early scholars.!

The evidence stressing the importance of responding to the wedding feast invitation is in the statement of the Prophet (peace be upon him),

eR oe et fo ba te 4

al aN I ASSET Cp 13) “If one of you is invited to the wedding feast, he should go to it.”2 And also his statement (peace be upon him) discussed earlier, “The worst food... And whoever does not respond has disobeyed Allah and His

Messenger.”> There are also other hadith that stress the obligation of responding to the invitation on the first day. The invitation for the

| See Maraatib al-Iimaa, P: 25; Mausooab al-Ijmaa, vol. 2, 1 1152; al-Muballa b ibn Hazm ‘al Dhaahini, vol. 11, pp. 22-23, issue number 1824; Fatawa Shaikh ab laam ibn Taimiyab, vol. 32 P: 206. Recorded by al-Bukhari_ (#5173), the Book of Marriage, Chapter on the right of Sesponding to the wedding feast and invitation. ks was presented earlier, this was not a statement of the Prophet (peace be upon him), as the text states here, but a statement of Abu Hurairah, albeit it is considered as having its source with the Prophet (peace be upon him)—JZ]

The Figh of Marriage

second day is considered preferred. Responding to the invitation for the third day of the wedding feast is considered disliked, as shall be explained later.!

Shaikh al-Islam stated, “It is forbidden to eat and slaughter meat for what is beyond the norm during the remaining days, even if the custom is to do so or if it is done to make the family happy. If they continue to do so, they should be reprimanded.”

Al-Haafidh [ibn Hajr] researched the question of having more than three days for the waleemah and he presented statements from people of knowledge. In sum, what he concluded is that it is disliked to have the waleemah for more than three days unless there is no fear of any commotion in that it is clear that the host is not doing it to show off or compete against others. In other words, he is just prolonging it due to the large number of people that he needs to invite or something of that nature.>