Part 20

First, he should make his wife feel comfortable by presenting to her something to drink, sweets or something similar. This is based on what is authentically narrated by Imam Ahmad from the hadith of Asmaa bint Yazeed ibn al-Sakin who said: I prepared and beautified Aishah for the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). Then he came and I called him to see her in all her beauty. He came and sat next to her. He was brought a large cup that contained milk. He drank and then handed it to her. She lowered her head and was shy. Asmaa then said: I rebuked her and told her to take it from the hand of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). She took it and drank some.”

| See Ishrab al-Nisaa by al-Nasaai (may Allah have mercy on him); al-Inshiraab fi

Adaab al-Nikaab by Abu Ishaag al-Huwaini; Adaab al-Zifaaf by Shaikh al-Albaani;

gnd the other references mentioned later in the footnotes of this chapter.

‘The Fight of Marriage

Second, he should put his hand on her head and pray for her. The evidence for this is the authentic hadith in which the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,

Sit pend Letnely dle Cote ofa Pith asia ley ere ere 2 Hof oe oat Aa Ge ey a CULT ol al Jey Wl Eady ory 5 ee eee pe tee ete ew 2 A 8 ote oe le GAS Gh ay Wo by GL af dle WS “Tf one of you marries a woman or buys a servant, he should take her by her forelock, mention Allah’s name [saying, ‘In the name of Allah’] and pray for blessings by saying, ‘O Allah, I ask you for her good and the good of what you have dispositioned her toward and I seek refuge from her evil and the evil you have dispositioned her toward.””!

Third, he should pray two rakats with her. This has been narrated from some of the early scholars. For instance, there is the hadith of Abu Saeed, the slave of Abu Usaid. Abu Saeed, “I married while I was a slave. I invited a number of the Companions of the Prophet (peace be upon him), including ibn Masood, Abu Dharr and Hudhaifah. The igaamah for the prayer was given and Abu Dharr stepped forward to lead the prayer. They said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Is it like this?’ They said, ‘Yes.’” So I led them in the prayer while I was an owned slave. They taught me by saying, “When your wife comes to you, pray two rakats and then ask for the good of what has come to you and seek refuge from its evil. Then, it is your affair and your wife’s affair.”?

Fourth, it is recommended for him, before he comes to her, to

use the toothstick to purify his mouth to prevent it from having an unpleasant smell. The same is true with respect to her. Or they can use a

' Recorded by al-Bukhari in Xhalag Afaal al-Ibaad, p. 22; Abu Dawood (#2160) in the Book of Marriage, Comprehensive chapter on marrage; ibn Maajah (vol. 1, p. 592) and al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak, vol. 2, p. 185. [According to Saleem al-Hilaali, this hadith is hasan. See Saleem al-Hilaali, Sahib Kitaab al-Adbkaar wa Dhaeefubu (Madinah: Maktabah al-Ghurabaa al-athariyyah 1997), vol. 2, p. 700—JZ}

Recorded by Shaikh al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zifaaf (p. 94) and he aitributed it to ibn Abu Shaibah, saying, “Its chain is sabth back to Abu Saeed.” He also presents another incident. Refer to it if you wish.

The Figh of Marriage

toothbrush and toothpaste. This will make it easier for them to have good relations and come closer together. This aspect is alluded to in the hadith of Shuraih ibn Haani who said, “I asked Aishah what the Prophet (peace be upon him) would begin with when he entered his house and she said, ‘The toothstick.’”!

Fifth, when the man desires to have intercourse with her, he should say,

eee es Lo ug pe gah 8, “In the name of Allah, O Allah, ward off Satan from us and ward off from Satan what You grant us.” This has benefits to it, including what

the Prophet (peace be upon him) explicitly stated at the end of that hadith,

OUT ofpas pS IU CEE AU) Sab OF

“Then if Allah decrees that they should have a child, Satan will never

Note: The husband may come to his wife and have sexual intercourse with her in any manner he wishes and in any position he likes as long as it is through the woman’s sexual organ. This is proven by what Muslim recorded in his Sahih? on the authority of Jaabir who said: The Jews would say that if a man came to his wife from behind but through the vagina, the child would be cross-eyed. Then the verse was revealed, “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go into your tilth when and

5 Recorded bi Muslim (#253), the Book of Purity, Chapter on the toothstick.

Recorded by al-Bukhari (#5165), vol. 9, p. 228— with its commentary Fath alBaari. \bn Hajr stated a number of interpretations for the words, “Satan will never harm him.” He stated, “From the best of them is the interpretation that Satan will never harm [the child] as the result of his father having intercourse with his mother.” [It should be noted that the exact wording above, “Then if Allah decrees that they should have a child, Satan will never harm him,” is actually from Sunan al-Tirmidbi, although al-Bukhari has a narration that expresses the same eaning 4)

Number 1435 [117] [119], the Book on Marriage, Chapter on the permissibility of [a man] having intercourse with his wife in her vagina but from behind, without approaching the anus.

‘The Figh of Marriage

how you please” (al-Bagarah 223).” Al-Zuhri added in his narration, “If you wish, from in front [on top] and if you wish other than from in front, but it must always be through [the] one opening.”

In a narration recorded by al-Tirmidhi, ibn Abbaas stated, “From the front and from the back but stay away from the anus and [while the woman is] menstruating.”?

In a narration recorded by Abu Dawood, ibn Umar stated in explaining the aforementioned verse, “From in front, from behind or lying on the backs, meaning through the place of the delivery of the child.”?

Muslim men and women must be very cautious about going against this command. A strong warning and real threat has come concerning this matter. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,

oe fob eke etl tthe, Ee fee oot be gh, Bs ae 8 i fae Ty “Whoever has intercourse with a menstruating woman or with a woman through the anus has committed disbelief in what has been revealed to Muhammad.”

Ibn Abbaas was asked about a man who had intercourse through the anus of a woman and he said, “That is kufr (disbelief).”4

1 ALSunan (#2984), Book of Tafseer (Quranic commentary), Chapter on Soorab gl-Bagarah. Its chain is good.

Al-Sunan (#2164), Book on Marriage. its chain is good. Al-Haakim also recorded it (vol. 2, PP. 195, 279). [Actually, this narration in Sunan Abu Dawood is from ibn Abbaas we egan it by saying that ibn Umar had misunderstood the aforementioned

Recorded by al-Nasaai in /shrab al-Nisaa (#130); Abu Dawood (#3904), Book on Medicine, Chapter on going to the soothsayers; al-Tirmidhi (#135), Book on Purity, Chapter on the disapproval of having intercourse with a menstruating woman; Ibn Maajah (#639), Book on Purity and its Recommended Acts, Shapter on the prohibition of going to a menstruating woman [for sexual intercourse]; Ahmad in alMusnad, vol. 2, pp. 408, 476; al-Daarimi in his Sunan, vol. 1, p. 259; al-Baihaqi in gl-Sunan al-Kubra, vol. 7, p. 198. It is an authentic hadith.

Recorded by al-Nasaai in Ishrab al-Nisaa (#118). Ibn Hajr declared its chain sabib in Talkbees al-Habeer, vol. 3, p. 181. Before him, ibn Katheer did the same in his Tafseer while commenting on verse 223 of soorab al-Bagarab. [It should be noted that as the long as the person does not believe in the permissibility of the act,

‘The Fight of Marriage

Ibn al-Qayyim noted a number of evils associated with the act of sodomy. These include health and psychological effects upon both the man and the woman. It is an act that is hated naturally and by sound tastes. It produces anxiety, worry, estrangement and hatred between the spouses. It brings an end to modesty and excellent qualities. It is a cause for the person to become very tense; his face becomes darkened; the light of his heart is extinguished; and it leads to other evils.

It is recommended for the husband to have foreplay with his wife before sexual intercourse. In one of the narrations in Sahih alBukhari of the hadith of Jaabir, it states that when he got married, the Prophet (peace be upon him) asked him if he married a virgin or a nonvirgin. He replied that she was a non-virgin. The Prophet (peace be upon him) then told him, “Why didn’t you marry a virgin [from among the young women who stay in seclusion] such that you may ‘kiss with her.’”! This particular wording is an inference to sucking her lip and tasting her saliva. This is something that occurs during foreplay and kissing. Ibn Hajr alluded to this interpretation in al-Fath and it is the interpretation that al-Qurtubi leans toward.”

If the man fulfills his desire with his wife, he should not leave her until she also fulfills her desire. This is more fitting to engender love and good feelings between them.

If he finds the strength to repeat the act of sexual intercourse after he has finished, he should first make ablution as this is part of the sunnah. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,

Lo geli oye of off abal Suet of 13) “If one of you has gone to his wife [and had sexual intercourse] and he wishes to repeat the act, he should [first] make ablution.”>

it isa “lesser kufr” that does not take the person completely out of the fold of Islam, althou it is a great evil. sobs _Sabih al-Bukbari (#5080), the Book of Marriage, Chapter on marrying a non-

irgin. Fath al-Baari, vol. 9, p. 121. Recorded by Muslim (#308), the Book on Menstruation, Chapter on the permissibility of sleeping while one is sexually defiled and the recommendation to make ablution and wash his private part when he wishes to eat, drink, sleep or have

‘The Figh of Marriage

Note: When the menses come to an end, in order to remove any foul smell, the woman should follow up any traces of blood with a piece of cotton containing some musk or something similar. This is an Islamic behavior although very few women pay attention to it. It is pointed out in the hadith where a woman asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) about ghusl [the complete bathing after menstruation] and he said, “Take some cotton with musk on it and purify yourself with it.”!