Part 21

The purpose of using perfume is to remove the unpleasant smell. This is a preferred act for everyone who is cleaning herself from menses or post-partum bleeding. It is disliked for one not to do it when she has the ability to do it. If she finds no musk, she may use perfume. If she finds no perfume, water should suffice.2

It is allowed for the husband, after he has had sexual intercourse with his wife, to sleep in the same clothes in which they had sexual intercourse. The same is true for the wife. However, this is after they have removed any bothersome substance with a rag [or something that suffices for its removal]. They may even pray in such clothing if they wish.

Aishah said, “If a woman is intelligent, she should have a rag with her. If her husband has sexual intercourse with her, she gives it to him to wipe himself off and then she wipes herself off. Then they can pray in their clothing as long as no sexual fluid had come upon it.”3

sexual intercourse [again]. In a narration referred to by Shaikh al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zifaaf (p. 107), _ it states, “That will make him more invigorated in repeating the get.” Al-Albaani ascribed this hadith to Abu Nuaim.

Recorded by al-Bukhari (#314), the Book on Menstruation, Chapter on the woman rubbing herself [with cotton] to clean herself from her menses; Muslim (#332), the Book on Menstruation, Chapter on the recommendation to use a muskscented piece of cloth over the traces of blood while cleaning after menses.

Fath al-Baari, vol. 1, p. 416.

Recorded by al-baihagi, vol. 2, p. 411; al-Dhahabi in Seer Alaam al-Nubalaa, vol. 9, &; 283. [A cursory look at the chains found in these two sources shows that the hadith has been narrated from al-Auzaa’ee. Al-Baihagi records the hadith from Muhammad ibn Musab from al-Auzaa’ee while al-Dhahabi records it from Sadagah from al-Auzaa’ee. Sadaqah has been heavily criticized by some of the great scholars

The Figh of Marriage

Muawiyah ibn Abu Sufyaan (may Allah be pleased with him) asked his sister [and one of the wives of the Prophet (peace be upon him)], Umm Habeebah (may Allah be pleased with her), “Would the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) pray in the same clothing in which he had sexual intercourse with you?” She said, “Yes, if he did not see anything harmful [impure] on it.”!

It is allowed for him to see her private parts as well as for her to see his. This is based on the hadith in which Aishah said, “I used to wash myself from one bowl with the Prophet (peace be upon him) while we were in a state of sexual defilement.”?

If a man calls his wife to his bed [for the purpose of sexual intercourse] it is obligatory upon her to respond without delay, even if she is not in need of that act. This is based on the Prophet’s statement,

FH OFS ye at oP Y Ody shades (pa lly soage( 2 fee 7 ee ee oh ue 8% aS SS ME ty Len WIL hy Cer yj “By the One in whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, a woman does not fulfill the rights of her Lord until she fulfills the rights of her husband. Even ifhe calls her [to have sexual intercourse with her] while she is on a camel’s saddle, she does not refuse him.”3 The implication is that ifa

husband wants to satisfy his desire with his wife and at the time she is riding on the back of a camel and it is not allowed for her to prevent him

of hadith and Muhammad ibn Musab is considered particularly weak in his narrations on the authority of al-Auzaa’ee. Hence, there remains strong doubt about this particular narration. For information about Sadagah and Muhammad ibn Musab, see Ahmad ibn Hajr, Tabdheeb al-Tabdbeeb (Beirut: Muassasah al-Risaalah, Recorded by Abu Dawood (#360) al-Nasaai, vol. 1, p. 155. It is an authentic adith. b Recorded by al-Bukhari (#250), the Book on Ghusi, Chapter on a man washing himself with his wife; Muslim (#321), the Book on Menstruation, chapter on the amount of water it is recommended to use for ghus/ due to sexual intercourse and e washing of a man and woman from one bowl at the same time. Recorded by Ahmad, vol. 4, p. 381; ibn Maajah, vol. 1, p. 570. [Al-Albaani calls this hadith hasan sabib. See al-Albaani, Sabeeh Sunan ibn Maajab, vol. 1, p. 312—JZ]

‘The Figh of Marriage

{and not respond to his call] at that time, what must be the ruling during other circumstances?

If a man calls his wife to the bed and she refuses, the angels curse her until the morning time. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,

cet SII GES Coe yj Ald Sarde MI FU 13 “If a woman spends the night boycotting the bed of her husband, the angels curse her until the morning.” Another narration states, “until she

returns [to the bed].”* Another wording in Sahih Muslim states,

ye AS as I A EM ES by Gott pot ll “By the One in whose hand is my soul, no man calls his wife to her bed and she refuses except that the One in the heaven is angry with her until he [her husband] becomes pleased with her.”2

I must add: It is inconceivable that a woman who believes in Aliah and the Last day would, after hearing this far-reaching and effective warning, do anything but submit to it and respond by obedience to Allah and His Messenger.

The believer is obliged to lower his gaze. If he happens to see a woman, he should turn his sight away. If he has some feeling due to that sight, he should go to his wife in order to calm his desires. This is based on the hadith of Jaabir ibn Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with them) who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,

' Recorded by al-Bukhari in his Sabib (#5194), Book on Marriage, Chapter on if the woman spends the night avoiding the bed of her husband; Muslim (#1436), Book on Marriage, Chapter on the prohibition of the wife keeping herself from the bed of her husband.

The Figh of Marriage

“If one of you is very pleased by a woman and something occurs in his heart, he should proceed to his wife and have intercourse with her as that will repel what is in his soul.” In the narration in Sunan al-Tirmidhi, it states, “He should go to his wife for she has what is similar to what [the other woman] has.”?

When a man has intercourse with his wife, he will be rewarded for that act. The Prophet (peace be upon him) stated, “In having intercourse [with your wife] there is an act of charity [for which he shall

be rewarded].” The people said, “O Messenger of Allah, one of us fulfills his desires and he will be rewarded for that?” He replied,

RCA ke a A SO IE ch GR g 13] LUIS jy Ved ale UIST A> 3 eke y 4 ASI! eo fare ot aid ol JOG “Do you not see that if he fulfills it in a forbidden way that he will have its burden. In the same way if he fulfills it in a permissible way, he shall

have a reward.” In his commentary to this hadith, al-Nawawi stated,

This contains evidence that permissible deeds can become acts of obedience [to Allah] by sincere intentions. Sexual intercourse becomes an act of worship if the person intends by it the fulfilling of the rights of his wife and to treat her in a good manner as Allah has ordered him,

' Sabib Muslim (#1403) [10], the Book on Marriage, Chapter on the recommendation that if one sees a woman having an effect on his soul, he should go to his wife or slave-girl and have intercourse with her.

Sunan al-Tirmidbi (#1158), Book on Marriage, Chapter on what has been parrated about a man seeing a woman who pleases him.

Recorded by Muslim (#1006), Book on zakah, Chapter on clarifying that the word sadaqab (charity) is used for every type of good deed.

‘The Figh of Marriage

seeking of a pious child, keeping himself chaste, keeping his wife chaste, keeping them from looking at, thinking about or considering what is forbidden or other sound intentions.

Note: It is not allowed for either the man or woman to spread the secrets of their sexual relations and to talk about them among other men or women. The evidence for this is what was narrated by Abu Saeed alKhudri from the Prophet (peace be upon him) who said,

SA I) gad Oi meal (ly Ah al Le Hh ATL, eG shor GE oo ew A a) ely “Certainly among the people with the most evil position with Allah on the Day of Resurrection is a man who satisfies himself with his wife and the woman who satisfies herself with him and then they spread their private relations.”! Similarly, Asmaa bint Yazeed said, “I was with the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and the men and women were sitting. He then said, ‘Perhaps a man says what he has done with his wife and perhaps a woman informs others about what she did with her husband.’ The people remained silent. Then I said, ‘By Allah, it is so, O Messenger of Allah. They [the women] do it and they [the men] do it.’ He said, ‘Do not do so for that is similar to a devil meeting another devil in the road and he has intercourse with her while the people are

watching.’”2 Jt is recommended for him to have intercourse with her on Friday before the prayer, based on the hadith,

' Recorded by Muslim (#1437), Book on Marriage, Chapter on the prohibition of spreading the private affairs of women.

Recorded by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad (vol. 6, pp. RD Its chain contains Shahr ibn Haushab. In a/-Tagreeb by ibn Hajr it states, “[He is] honest but has lots of mursal reports [reports from those he did not meet].” However, his narration is ‘upported by other reports found in Ahmad (vol. 2, pp. 40 and 541), Abu Dawood (#2174) and others.

The Figh of Marriage

woe Lore et ea Oe ea ee eA A Zee Ab ST hy ey Sly Sy Saeed ply tly Le oy eye bebe Fee et Me ae a ee ee eplie Tah He fab Spee 50 J OIF AY Sy GAEL ALY! Ge olds “For whoever ‘makes his wife make ghusl’ and he himself makes ghus! on Friday, leaves early and timely, walks and does not ride, sits close to the mosque, and listens without doing anything that diverts his attention, he will have for every step he takes the reward ofa year’s worth of fasting and praying [at night].”!_ Ibn Khuzaimah stated that the first portion of the hadith means that the person has sexual intercourse with his wife, making it obligatory upon her and him to make ghus/.2 Another manner that the husband should tend to is that when he is returning from a journey, he should not retum to his wife unexpectedly. Instead, he should tell her when he is planning on returning. The benefit of that behavior is that the wife may then prepare for her husband’s return by cleaning herself, applying perfume and so forth. It is sanctioned for him to have sexual intercourse with his wife after he returns from a trip, especially if he had been gone for a long time. The following hadith allude to the matters that we have just mentioned: Jaabir ibn Abdullah narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,