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REGULATIONS FOR MARRIAGE & WEDDING IN Islam

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The Quest for Love & Mercy Regulations for Marriage & Wedding in Islam (The Muslim Family — 1)

Published by: Al-Kitab & as-Sunnah Publishing USA: P.O. Box 2542, Arlington, Texas, 76004 Lebanon: Beirut, Tel: 961-3-046-338 Saudi Arabia: P.O. Box 5683, Madinah, Web: www.kspublications.com Email: [email protected]

Printed by: Al-Maktab al-Islami P.O. Box 11/3771, Beirut, Lebanon Web: www.almaktab-alislami.com Email: [email protected]

TABLE OF CONTENTS y

a) Purifying Our Sources of Knowledge (xvi) b) Purifying Our Beliefs (xvii) c) Purifying Our Actions (xvii) Sn CULAVALON) os >, 03.5 Ss elie thea gene we anctell Matha xviii a) Becoming True Followers of the Salaf (xviii) b) Inviting to the Pure Religion (xviii) c) Presenting the Islamic Solution (xx)

PREFACE xxi The Muslim Family THIS BOGE 3.555 Sante gate hago twat

Advantages of Marriage for Individuals {. Preservation of Faith and Religion (9) 2. Preservation of Chastity (10) 3. Enjoying Love, Mercy and Security (11) 4. Lawful Fulfillment of Desire (12) 5. Pleasurable Way of Increasing Good Deeds (13) 6. Living a Harmonious Life (16) 7. Following the Way of the Prophets (17) 8. Deserving Allah’s Help (17) 9. A Lasting Relationship (17) Social Advantages of MONHABE os 3 ary hiis sant ne siee ee.18 1. Preserving Humankind (18) 2. Preserving Kinship Ties (18) 3; Safeguarding the Society from Moral Degeneracy (18) 4. Safeguarding the Society from Physical Diseases (19) 5. Establishing the Family Environment (19) 6. Increasing the Number of Muslims (19) Ty Strengthening the Muslim Community (20)

CHAPTER 2 SPOUSE SELECTION 21 SPUN 8 WHEE otis ere nbulys dy Drip pduishsnrvnce noe?21 A Conditional Choice (21) 1. Righteousness (22) 1.a The Wife Brings Happiness or Misery (23) 2. Good Character (24) 3, Virginity (26) A. Ability to Bear Children (26) 5S. Loving Attitude (27) 6. Contentment (28) 7. Naivety (29) 8. Beauty (29) 9. Compatibility (30) Qualities Sought in a Good Husband Din and Good Character (31) Is Wealth Important? (32) No Comparison (33)

CHAPTER 3 COURTING 35 Definitions and Examples... eek ec eeccccee,35 Definitions (35) Examples from the Sunnah (35) The Bid'ah of Reciting al-Fatiah (37) Looking at the Courted Woman 2.2.2... ..0...-0.0....37 Permission (37) Conditions (39) Exchanging Photographs (40) Is a Woman Allowed to Look? (41) Talking and Correspondence (41) Woes of Internet Courting (42) Prohibited Courting w.i9 0s ca es Pon's Nagiumaiodene uodce nk43 Courting a Married Woman (44) Courting a Woman Who is Being Courted (44) Other Prohibited Forms (46) Offering a Woman for Matilagets..im 25.sdes, 3 Sisuess ie icezd Performing Istikha@rah and Seeking Advice Description of Istikharah (49) Misconceptions about Istikhdrah (51) Seeking Advice (51) Telling the Truth (53) Violations in Khighah oo... o.oo cee ceeccnse53 1. Privacy & Intimacy between the Engaged Couple (53) 2. Engagement Party (54) 3. Engagement Rings and Jewelry (54)

Importance of the Marriage Contract (55)

No Joking in Marriage (55)

Contents Viti Quest for Love & Mercy

Ruling (58) A Virgin Bride (59) A Non-virgin Bride (60) An Orphan Bride (61) A Freed Slave Woman (63) The Woman's Wall s 0.5 cag ae cate ted ANTONI Rd aRODES64 Ruling (64) Who Is a Woman’s Wali? (64) A Woman May Not Appoint Her Wali (65) Marriage Without a Wali (66) A Difficult Wali (67) The Wali’s Responsibility (68) MEHS Witnesses: 343. 3.5.2 tandsonacasene Buena faiths68 Phe MabrNDOwrty) s.nck co cess spaces aarendea ley Ras68 Definition and Ruling (68) Who Takes the Mahr (70) Kinds (71) Moderateness in Dowries (72) Unspecified Mahrs (74) Dowries of the Mothers of the Believers (75) Weak Story: “a Woman Is Right and ‘Umar Is Wrong” (77) A Possible Reason for Destruction (79) Postponed Mahr (80) Great Punishment for Taking Away a Woman’s Mahr (80) NCONGIHONS.. 3-69 Takk Neo Nash Spheres, atts gry outed,81 Permissibility of Setting Conditions (81) Power of the Conditions (82) Suspending a Condition (82) Void Conditions (83) The Contract’ eisai ah einiwiads ah emdacediag abetted84 The Khutbah (84) Tjab and Qabiil (85) Writing the Contract (86) Outcome of the Marriage Contract (86)

CHAPTER 5 CELEBRATING THE MARRIAGE 87 Publicizing the Marriage... 2.2.0... 2 cee eee eee87

Definidon ‘and Ruling: sahis.2 ee eee eso Geo wd ds5 2 Ode101 Regulations and Recommendations .... 666.000 eee ee eee102

The Walimah’s Time (102)

Types of Food (103)

Helping with the Cost (104)

Whom to Invite (104)

Avoiding Impermissible Utensils (108)

Inviting Many People (109)

Honoring The Guests (109)

Prophetic Manners in Honoring the Guests (110) Manners for the Guests, .i..5.0.0¢ 2200 09035 04 Qe eaeill

Answering the Invitation Is a Religious Obligation (111)

Avoiding Invitations that Involve Disobedience (113)

What Fasting People Should Do (115)

Seeking Permission to Enter (116)

When Going Without Invitation (118)

Greeting with Salam, and Shaking Hands (119)

Pronouncing Allah’s Name over the Food (121)

Avoiding Criticizing the Food (122)

Moderateness in Eating (123)

The Blessing of Eating with Others (124)

Sitting Humbly and Eating from Around the Sides (124) Avoiding Wasting Food (126)

Praising Allah and Supplicating to Him after Eating (127) Supplicating for the Hosts (130)

Partially Open Marriage (152) Marriage of a Group (153) Public Prostitution (153) Other Prohibited Marriages... 2... 0.05202 e ee eens153 Marriage of Mut‘ah (153) Marriage of Tahlil (155) Marriage of Shighar (157) Marriage with the Intention of Divorce (158) Marrying Non-Muslims 0.0.6.0 000 eee eee e eee eee158 General Rule (158) Exception to the Rule (159) Who “the People of the Book” Are (160) A Difficult Condition (161) Conclusion (162)

REFERENCES 165 APPENDIX A: MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE 169

APPENDIX B: ARABIC TERMINOLOGY 171

RetOdNCHON yi 6. sc0e sc 2k Cae od Ge RAEE Oh ven s 45)I@ st171 Translating and Referencing Qur'én and Hadith (171) Useful Charts (171) Arabic Terms (171)

Arabic Weekdays and Islamic Hijrt Months .

Transliteration” .c.92 25s 0¢40 aF i eee vate

Index of Arabic Terms

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Al-hamdu lillah. Indeed, all praise is due to Allah. We praise Him

and seek His help and forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allah from our souls’ evils and our wrong doings. He whom Allah guides, no one can misguide; and he whom He misguides, no one can guide.

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I bear witness that there is no (true) god except Allah — alone without a partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad (8$) is His ‘abd (servant) and messenger,

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innovated (by people), for every such innovation is an act of misguidance leading to the Fire.

Our Mission: Purification and Cultivation

Our goal is to promote true Islam that derives from Allah’s (88) Book, His Messenger’s (&) Sunnah, and the sahdbah’s () understanding.

The above paragraphs are called Khut bat ul-Hajah (the Sermon of Need) with which the Prophet (&) often started his speeches. This is recorded by Muslim, Aba Dawid, etc., from Ibn Mas‘td, Ibn “Abbas, and other companions (a). The Prophet (8) also said the very last paragraph when starting a speech. This is recorded by Muslim, an-Nasaij, etc., from Jabir (@) (al-Mishkat no. 137).

This is the only Path that can incorporate correct Islamic beliefs and practices. Since, over the centuries, Muslims have largely drifted away from this magnificent Path, it becomes imperative to guide them back to it and help them live by its dictates.

Therefore, any serious work in promoting Islam must involve two fundamental components: purification and cultivation. Allah (8) indicates that these two components were central to the Prophet's (#8)

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Our mission, then, is to present purified Islimic teachings and practical guidelines for implementing them.

This book is a humble response to our realization of a great responsibility: the responsibility to bring forth before the Englishspeaking public writings that refine Islam and present it pure and simple, as close as possible to the way it was understood and practiced by its early righteous pioneers — the salaf.

We call upon all Muslims to support us in carrying out this noble trust. This will surely elevate and honor us and spread the eternal message of Islam all over the earth, as Allah promises:

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