Part 18

Within what is reasonable, the newlywed should try to bring to the walimah as many people as is possible. Jabir Bin ‘Abdillah (ts) reported that Allah’s Messenger (88) said:

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<The most beloved food to Allah is that on which many hands gather. !

The guest has a right upon his host: he should be well treated and honored. Honoring the guest is a sign of true belief. Abia Hurayrah (4) reported that Allah’s Messenger (8) said:

OS yg edn pS SY a sally IL Say lS gan AL 0s SUS gay dad) Jecaals 35 polls WL ood, thea 5I LS Jibs VI pools

<He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should honor his guest; he who believes in Allah and the Last Day should be kind to his kin; and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day should either say a good thing or remain silent 2

1 Recorded by Ibn Hibban, al-Bayhaqi, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-

Albani (Sahih ul-Jami no. 171 & as-Sahihah no. 895). 2 Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.

PROPHETIC MANNERS IN HONORING THE GUESTS

One can learn a great deal about the fine manners of honoring the guests from a few dayat describing Ibrahim’s (#) treatment of his guests. Allah (88) says:

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“ad abl Jl gr 0 Sat a A IE ha ia

Ibn ul-Qayyim (3) provides a very inspiring coverage of the

various lessons that one can learn from these Gyat. In what follows, we summarize his discussion in regard to honoring the guests ?.

Ibrahim went quietly and secretly (ragha) to prepare the food. This indicates his hastening to honor and serve his guests in a secret manner in order not to embarrass them. This is to be contrasted with one who would purchase and prepare the food slowly and lazily, all in the presence of his guests. Such action would surely embarrass and disturb them.

For preparing the food, Ibrahim turned to no place other than his own household. This indicates that he had all what is usually needed to honor and serve the guests. He had no need of seeking anything from the neighbors or elsewhere.

2 The full text of Ibn ul-Qayyim is presented in the Author's translation of ar-Risalat

Quest for Love & Mercy Jil The Walimah

3. Ibrahim brought the calf by himself. He served his guests personally rather than sending someone else to serve them,

4. Ibrahim brought before them a complete animal, and not just a portion of it. This would allow them to select any part of it that they favor.

5. Ibrahim brought before them a fat animal, and not a skinny one. Furthermore, being a young calf and not a full grown cow indicates that it was an expensive animal that should please the guests. His generosity and hospitality made him slaughter it despite its value.

6. Ibrahim brought the food and placed it in front of the guests rather than putting it in another room and having them move to reach it.

7. Rather than saying, “Go ahead and eat!”, Ibrahim invited the guests to eat with kind words, “Will you not eat?” — thereby giving them the choice of eating or not.

Manners for the Guests

There are also certain Gdab that should be exhibited by a guest who is invited to a walimah or other meals. In what follows, we present some of the most important adab.

ANSWERING THE INVITATION IS A RELIGIOUS OBLIGATION

It is an obligation on every person who is invited to a walimah to attend — unless he has a legitimate Islamic excuse. Ibn “Umar () reported that Allah’s Messenger (&#) said:

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<When one of you is invited to a walimah, he should attend it — if it is a wedding or something like it.

And whoever does not answer the invitation, he has surely disobeyed Allah and His Messenger. '

Set the (Muslim) captives free (by paying their ransom to the enemies), respond to the caller (to a walimah and its likes), and visit the sick. *

This carries a command from the Prophet (&), which again establishes that answering the invitation is a wajib.

With this understanding, one should answer the invitation with iman (believing in its religious value) and ihtisab (seeking Allah's reward for his attendance). If this is sincerely fulfilled, attending a walimah becomes a rewardable act of worship.

A legitimate excuse that justifies not attending a walimah is any reason that would make attending it beyond a person’s reasonable ability. YAN bill Ugaca’y VY} Ls AT CaS YD

1 Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others. The part specifying the wedding is recorded by Abii Ya'la and verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Adab uz-Zifaf p.

3. Recorded by al-Bukhari. Al-Bagarah 2:286.

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Thus, the following could count as legitimate excuses:

|. Being invited to two walimahs in two different places at the same time,

2, Having to undertake an expensive trip to attend the walimah.

3. Having at the same time an important appointment that missing it would result in a serious harm in wealth, health, or well-being. Ex., a school examination, a business deal, etc.

However, even in such cases where a person feels that he is justified in turning down an invitation to a walimah, he should contact the host and present his excuse ahead of time.

AVOIDING INVITATIONS THAT INVOLVE DISOBEDIENCE

One should decline the invitation to a walimah that includes acts of disobedience to Allah, such as drinking alcohol, music, mixing between men and women, and so on.

‘Ali Bin Abi Talib (<8) reported that he prepared some food and invited the Prophet (8). When the Prophet (88) arrived, he saw some pictures and turned to leave. ‘Ali said, “O Allah’s Messenger, what made you turn back — may my mother and father be your ransom?” He (&) replied:

1 Al-Bagarah 2:185. 2 At-Taghabun 64:16.

dndeed, there is a curtain in the house on which

there are pictures; and the angels do not enter any house in which there are pictures. J

Aslam, the servant of “Umar (2), reported that when ‘Umar went to ash-Sham (Palestine and the surrounding lands), one of the Christian leaders prepared some food (in a church) and said to ‘Umar, “Indeed, 1 would like you and your companions to come and honor me.”

“Indeed, we do not enter your churches because of all of the images that are in them.” *

Abi’ Mas‘ad ‘Ugbah Bin “Amr () reported that a man once prepared food for him and invited him. He asked the man, “Are there pictures in the house?” The man replied, “Yes.” Abt Mas‘id then refused to enter until the image was smashed, then he entered. $

“We do not attend a walimah in which there are drums or lutes.” *

EATING FROM THE FOOD

Even though it is obligatory to respond to the invitation, it is not obligatory to eat from the food. Depending on his situation, the guest

1 Recorded by Ibn Majah and Aba Ya‘la. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Adab uz-Zifaf p. 161).

2 Recorded by al-Bayhaqi. Verified to be authentic by al-Albant (Adab uz-Zifaf

3 Recorded by al-Bayhaqi. Verified to be authentic by al-Albant (Adab uz-Zifaf

4 Recorded by Abii al-Hasan al-Harbi (in al-Faw@id ul-Muntagat). Verified to be authentic by al-Albant (Adab uz-Zifaf p. 166).

may wish to eat or abstain from eating. In the second case, he should present his excuse for not eating in order to avoid offending the host. Jabir Bin ‘Abdillah (>) reported that Allah's Messenger (8) said:

HU Oe cab ALS 6 scl plab (II astiol (2 lilo

<When one of you is invited to food, he should respond to the invitation. If he then wishes, he may eat; and if he wishes, he may refrain from eating. !

However, it is better to eat, even a little bit, as is mentioned in the next section.

WHAT FASTING PEOPLE SHOULD Do

A fasting person may remain fasting in a walimah, Instead of eating, he should then supplicate for the host. Abii Hurayrah and Ibn Mas‘tid () reported that the Prophet (86)

<When one of you is invited to food, he should answer the invitation. If he is not fasting, he should eat; and if he happens to be fasting, let him supplicate (asking blessings for the host).

Ibn “Umar (t#s) reported that Allah’s Messenger (&) said:

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<Answer this invitation (to a walimah) when you are invited.>

1 Recorded by Muslim and others.

2 Recorded by Muslim and others. The last part (about the blessings) is only reported by Ibn Mas‘td, recorded by at-Tabarani and Ibn us-Sunni, and verified to be authentic by al-Albani (nva’ ul-Ghalil no. 1953).

And Ibn ‘Umar used to attend when he was invited to a walimah, and would sometimes attend while fasting. ;

However, if one is fasting a voluntary fasting, it is recommended for him to break his fast, especially if he expects his eating to bring joy to the host’s heart.

Abii Said al-Khudri (4) reported that he once prepared some food for Allah’s Messenger (@). The Messenger (@) came with some of his companions. When the food was brought, one man stayed away saying, “I am fasting.” Allah’s Messenger (&) then said:

(This hadith also indicates that it is not obligatory to make-up a voluntary fasting.)

SEEKING PERMISSION TO ENTER When one goes to a walimah or its like, the host would usually be expecting him and there is not much necessity for seeking permission