Part 5

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<Thus, place it (your seed) in what is lawful (intercourse with your wife), and avoid for it what is prohibited (zind). Then, if Allah wills, He would give it life; and if He wills, He would make it die, and you would be rewarded (in both cases).> !

6. LivinG A HARMONIOUS LIFE

Marriage allows a person to live in harmony with his human nature,

1 Recorded by Ahmad, Ibn Hibban, and an-Nasai. Verified to be authentic by alAlbani (as-Sahihah no. 575).

Quest for Love & Mercy 7 A Blessed Bond

and eliminates from him feelings of conflict and dejection. As indicated earlier, abstaining from marriage is an unnatural act that has been prohibited by the Prophet (@8). To the same meaning, Sa‘d Bin Abi Waqqas and Samurah Bin Jundub (té) reported:

SEEN ge al Dyey coi”

“Allah's Messenger (8%) prohibited abstinence from marriage.” !

7, FOLLOWING THE WAY OF THE PROPHETS

We saw above that marriage was a practice of the prophets. Since they were all chosen by Allah ($8) as examples for humanity, their practices are good, and it is our duty to follow them as much as we can.

8. DESERVING ALLAH’s HELP

We saw earlier (p. 5) that Allah (8%) will surely help anyone who marries intending by that to guard himself against sinning.

9. A LASTING RELATIONSHIP

When a married couple has a good relationship based on faith and taqwa, their relationship will extend into the next life and the woman will continue to be the wife of the last man to whom she was married in this life.

Abii ad-Darda’ (#s) reported that Allah’s Messenger (8) said:

Co Ugelysl AY (p48 oy cach gas Ge GY Fal Lely

<Any woman whose husband dies and she marries after him, she will then be (in the hereafter) for the last one of her husbands. *

1 Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others. 2 Recorded by at-Tabarani (in al-Kabir). Verified to be authentic by al-Albant (Sahih ul-Jami' no. 2704 & as-Sahihah no. 1281).

‘Nishah (5) reported that Allah’s Messenger (8$) said:

Social Advantages of Marriage

From the above discussion, we can conclude that marriage has many advantages to the society as a whole. In what follows we list a number of them.

Marriage fulfills Allah’s law for the reproduction, as we have discussed earlier. Thus it constitutes a correct means of preserving humankind — until Allah inherits the Earth and all what is on it.

2. PRESERVING KINSHIP TIES

Contrary to zind, marriage preserves and reveres the kinship ties. It establishes the paternal relationships between the children and their parents, giving them all a feeling of dignity and self esteem. That strengthens the feelings of love and care within the society.

3. SAFEGUARDING THE SOCIETY FROM MorRAL DEGENERACY

Marriage is the proper way to establishing correct and permissible relationships between men and women. This helps maintain chastity, and protects the Muslim individuals from slipping into the filth of zind and other sins related to it (which will be fully discussed in a subsequent chapter). Thus, marriage closes the door in the face of many acts of moral degeneracy and decadence, which are among the major causes for the destruction of societies.

1 Recorded by Ibn Khuzaymah, Ibn Hibban, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami‘ no. 6691 & as-Sahihah no. 1281).

Quest for Love & Mercy 19 A Blessed Bond

4, SAFEGUARDING THE SOCIETY FROM PHYSICAL DISEASES

Together with zind and its related vices comes a host of destructive diseases. Among those are gonorrhea, syphilis, venereal ulcers, and, most recently, AIDS. Marriage is an important means of protecting the society from these and many other diseases that can be easily transmitted, and that do not even spare children.

5, ESTABLISHING THE FAMILY ENVIRONMENT

Marriage is a necessary step toward establishing a healthy environment for nurturing and rearing children. Our children are the fruits of our generation and the future men and women of our Unumah, Through good marriages, we furnish them with the love, mercy, compassion, and guidance, that they need for proper growth and development.

6. INCREASING THE NUMBER OF MusLiMs

In Islam, what counts is not quantity alone, but quantity together with quality. Therefore, we are urged to increase the number of GOOD Muslims — not superficial Muslims. Good Muslims are those who live by Allah’s (8%) commands and follow His Messenger’s (#8) guidance. Such are the people who should increase and multiply so as to establish Allah’s religion in this life and enter His gardens in the next.

A Muslim should marry with the intention of increasing the number of righteous Muslims. Subsequently, he should strive to raise his family upon to the true religion, Only then, would they be among the numbers of Muslims who will please and delight Allah’s Messenger (#8) on Judgment Day to the extent that he will boast about them in front of the multitudes of nations who will be present.

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1 Recorded by Ibn Majah. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami no.

Abii Umamah (4) reported that Allah’s Messenger (8%) said:

Cgokiasll A GLWS 1 SS Vy GA (LY MK SL Loasin

<Marry so that (on Judgment Day) I will be delighted by your outnumbering other nations. Do not practice monasticism like the Christians. !

7. STRENGTHENING THE Mustim COMMUNITY

When a nation multiplies in the right and lawful way, it preserves the kinship relationships and protects its citizens from diseases — which results in a powerful nation. To the contrary, adultery loosens and severs the kinship ties, and results in the spread of diseases and perversions, which cause the nations to decline and fall. Allah (88) wants the Muslim Ummah to be a powerful nation capable of establishing His laws and spreading His guidance in a most efficient way. This may only be fulfilled through maintaining chastity with lawful marriage.

1 Recorded by al-Bayhaqi and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahih ulJami‘ no. 2941 & as-Sahihah no. 1782).

CHAPTER 2 SPOUSE SELECTION

In the previous chapter, we established the great significance of marriage. With that in mind, a Muslim is urged to seek a partner that would help him (or her) attain the desired fruits of marriage in a most fulfilling way, This makes the task of selecting a spouse most crucial.

Selecting a Wife A CONDITIONAL CHOICE

In Islam, a man is given some choice in regard to marriage. Allah (88) says: Fe ie et Diets heen a eT AAS rh

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However, “whatever pleases you of women” is a general directive that is further clarified in many texts of the Quran and Sunnah. There are certain important qualities that a man should seek in the woman whom he wants to be his life-partner and the mother of his children.

In what follows we mention the most important of those qualities. 1, RIGHTEOUSNESS

The first and foremost vital quality for a wife is righteousness. The Prophet (&) urged the men to seek a woman of faith and piety, and indicated that a man attains happiness through marrying her,

Abi Hurayrah (4%) reported that the Messenger (&) said:

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<A woman is sought in marriage for four reasons: wealth, social status, beauty, and din (piety). So seek the one with din — may you then be successful '.> *

<Let each of you keep a heart grateful (to Allah), a tongue constantly extolling (Allah), and a believing wife who would assist him in regard to the affairs of

Quest for Love & Mercy 23 Spouse Selection

<A heart grateful (to Allah), a tongue extolling (Allah), and a righteous wife who would assist you in the affairs of your life and religion — these are people’s best treasures. *

1.A THE WIFE BRINGS HAPPINESS OR MISERY

In this life, a righteous wife is a main source of happiness, whereas an evil wife is a major cause of misery, Sa‘d Bin Abi Waqqis (a) reported that Allah’s Messenger (&) said:

<There are four sources of happiness and four

1 Recorded by Ahmad, at-Titmithi, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albant (as-Sahthah no. 2176).

2 Recorded by al-Bayhagi (in Shu‘ab ul-Iman), at-Tirmithi, Ibn ‘Abd ur-Razzagq (in al-Musannaf), and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahift ul-Jami' no.