Part 16

With these guidelines, and with careful selection, wedding gifts can be very helpful to the newlywed in building their new home.

1 Recorded by Abii Yala, al-Bayhaqi and al-Bukhart in al-Adab ul-Mufrad. Verified to be hasan by al-Albant (Inva’ul-Ghalil no. 1601). 2. Anas’s mother.

The Quest for Love & Mercy 95 Celebrating the Marriage

Allah willed, then invited the people to eat in successive groups of ten,

dah Ee Joy JS JTUdy call! pul LySity

<Utter Allah’s name, and let each man eat from his side.

Thus, everyone present ate from that food. !

Avoiding Sinning During the Wedding Celebration IMPORTANT WARNING

Sinning and disobedience to Allah (8%) is frequently practiced by Muslims during wedding celebrations. Many of them presume that the wedding is an occasion for abandoning some of the Islamic principles.

In this section, we highlight a few such acts of disobedience, and call upon all Muslims to adamantly avoid them in their weddings, and to avoid weddings that have them.

We especially remind the newlywed and their families that the wedding marks the beginning of a new life for the couple. Therefore, all measures should be taken to embark on it in the best manner: acting in obedience to the Lord () and hoping for His forgiveness and blessing. They should all strive to avoid sinful acts that may deprive them from Allah’s blessing and make them liable to His severe punishment.

In dressing up for a wedding, Muslims should take into consideration the following guidelines:

& They should avoid removing the hair that we are commanded to spare: they should avoid plucking their eyebrows, and men should avoid shaving or closely trimming their beard.

1 Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.

Ky Cog WS Lada pS le OA wo pana Hal by <Any woman who wears perfume and passes by men who would smell her perfume is an adulteress.> }

It is also permissible to use hinnd (commonly, women apply it to the hands and feet), Hinn@ is a reddish-orange cosmetic produced from the leaves and stalks of the hinn@ plant. Salma, a female servant of the Prophet (4), reported:

“Never did a wound afflict the Prophet (8) or a thorn

1 Recorded by Abii Dawid, at-Tirmithi, and others. Verified to be hasan by al-Albant (Sahih ul-Ja@mi* no. 2701 and al-Mishkat no. 1023).

2 Recorded by at-Tabarani, Abi Nu‘aym, and others. Verified to be authentic by alAlbani (as-Sahihah no. 665).

The Quest for Love & Mercy 97 Celebrating the Marriage

prick him but that he put hinn@ on it.” !

% Muslims should avoid tattooing and body-piercing. These are strongly prohibited in Islam. They are clearly from the dictates of Satan, and have only been popularized by the corrupt people in recent years.

Individual in Question Extent of the ‘Awrah

Man with men or with |From navel to knee

Woman with nonThe whole body, except for the face

mahrams or with non_|and hands Muslim women

Woman with mahrams |The whole body, except for the head, or with Muslim women |neck, arms, and shins.

Examples of violations to covering the ‘awrah: men wearing shorts or tight pants; women exposing to non-mahrams their head or arms, or wearing tight, transparent, or flashy clothes; women exposing to other women their thighs, armpits, or part

1 Recorded by at-Tirmithi and Ibn Majah. Verified to be hasan by al-Albani (asSahihah no. 2059 and al-Mishkat no. 4467).

They should avoid wearing clothing that is specific to the opposite sex — such as women wearing masculine styles, or men wearing natural silk, gold jewelry, bracelets, necklaces, neck-chains, etc.

Muslims should keep their wedding aloof of many of the un-Islamic practices. In particular:

They should avoid mingling between women and men who are not their mahrams, because it leads to various sinful acts, such as:

* Touching, hugging, or shaking hands with each other.

* Chatting, laughing, or flirting with each other,

* Exchanging looks and stares with one another.

They should avoid spending extravagantly or turning the wedding into an arena for show-off — thereby wasting money on things that are of no benefit for the Muslims, such as:

* Holding the wedding in an expensive hotel or ballroom where lavish foods are served and many violations to Islam are committed.

* The bride wearing a very expensive wedding gown that usually exposes much of her ‘awrah.

They should avoid other sinful acts that are characteristic of unIslamic wedding celebration, such as:

The Quest for Love & Mercy 99 Celebrating the Marriage

* Having un-Islamically dressed waitresses provide the service. * Playing music, often combined with suggestive singing and lewd dancing. * Offering alcoholic beverages. Ibn ‘Umar (t) reported that the Prophet (48) said: DB AY py dab feb olf an

<Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day may not sit at a table on which khamr is circulated. '

* The newlywed couple wearing wedding rings to indicate their new “married” status — a practice that has absolutely no basis in Islam.

& They should avoid undermining Islamic rites and rituals, such as:

A Muslim should not take a picture or help in taking it unless it fulfills a need that cannot be fulfilled otherwise.

‘Nishah (tg) reported that the Prophet (48) once saw in her house a curtain with pictures, so his face showed anger and he said:

1 Recorded by Ahmad, at-Tirmitht, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albanit (rwa’ul-Ghalil no. 1949).

“Give life to what you have created.”>

So she removed the curtain, cut it, and made pillows with it. | Ibn Mas‘tid reported that Allah’s Messenger (88) said:

dndeed, the people who will receive the most severe punishment on the Day of Resurrection are those who make pictures. *

Abi Talhah, ‘Ali, and others (i) reported that Allah’s Messenger (8) said:

CByye HES aed Ley JF Y SM gl

These hadiths are applicable to all forms of pictures of living beings that have souls, even if they are fictitious — whether the pictures are two or three-dimensional, and whether they are paintings or photographs.

A common modern practice during wedding celebrations is taking a large number of pictures and video clips of the newlywed couple and their relatives and friends. Those pictures usually show various acts of disobedience to Allah (8%), such as women exposing their heads and other parts of their bodies and making various poses with men who are not their mahrams. Thus, in addition to taking pictures for which there is no necessity or need, the pictures reflect many instances of sinning and disobedience. They “freeze” the people’s sinning for them and others to see and remember for many years to come — which adds to their balance of evil deeds on Judgment Day.

1 Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others. 2. Recorded by Muslim, Ahmad, and others. 3 Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.

CHAPTER 6 THE WALIMAH

The walimah (or wedding feast) is a meal offered by the husband to the friends and family after the consummation of marriage.

The walimah is wajib (obligatory) upon the husband, Buraydah Bin al-Hasib (4) reported that when ‘Ali (4) married Fatimah, Allah’s Messenger (‘#) said:

Olly oe (uaa) Gaal 0 Y Sly

So Sa’d said, “I will bring a ram.” And another man said, “I will bring some corn,” |

When ‘Abd ur-Rahman Bin ‘Awf (45) migrated to al-Madinah, the Prophet (8%) made him brother? with Sa‘d Bin ar-Rab? al-Ansari. Sa‘d (48) told ‘Abd ur-Rahman, “My brother! I am the wealthiest man of al-Madinah, so I will divide my wealth in half between us; and I have two wives while you, my brother, have none; so see which of them you prefer: I will divorce her for you to marry after she concludes her ‘iddah.” ‘Abd ur-Rahmin replied, “By Allah no! May Allah bless your family and wealth for you. Just show me the way to the market.” Thus, he went to the market, traded, and soon made profit and brought home some agit (dried yogurt) and butter.