Part 19

<A messenger from one man to another (inviting him) gives him the permission (to attend). *

In another report, Abii Hurayrah (@) reported that the Prophet (&)

1 Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.

2 Recorded by al-Bayhaqi, at-Tabarani (in al-Awsat), and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Jrwa’ ul-Ghalil no. 1952 & Adab uz-Zifaf p. 159).

3. Recorded by Aba Dawid, Ibn Hibban, and al-Bukhari in al-Adab ul-Mufrad. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (inva *yl-Ghalil no. 1955).

Quest for Love & Mercy 117 The Walimah

said: 4) 53] ULE Jed ee eles alah Ml Sted (50 15]

<When one of you is invited to food and he comes with the messenger, that constitutes a permission for him. !

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“When you are invited, you are (automatically) given the permission (to attend).” *

Taking permission is important for a number of reasons, among which are the following:

l. The host should prepare himself for receiving the guests and make sure that their eyes would not fall on any of the women of the house who may be improperly dressed.

Sahl Bin Sa‘d () reported that Allah’s Messenger (8) said:

1 Recorded by Abi Dawid and al-Bukhari in al-Adab ul-Mufrad. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (/rwa’ul-Ghalil no. 1955).

2 Recorded by al-Bukhart in al-Adab ul-Mufrad. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Irwa’ ul-Ghalil no. 1956).

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dndeed, seeking permission to enter has only been ordained for the sake of the eye sights '

2. The host should be given the chance to ascertain that those who seek admission have all been invited. More about this will be discussed in the next sub-section.

WHEN GOING WITHOUT INVITATION

We saw from the above hadiths in the previous sub-section that an invitation constitutes permission to attend. An uninvited person, therefore, has no guaranteed permission to be admitted — the host has the full right of either receiving him or asking him to leave.

Abia Mas‘iid al-Ansart al-Badst () reported that a man from alAnsar, Abi Shu‘ayb, had a slave who was a butcher. One day, while the Prophet (&) was sitting with four of his companions, Abi Shu‘ayb visited him and noticed signs of hunger on his face. He rushed to his slave and ordered, “Prepare a meal sufficient for five persons so that I may invite the Prophet (@) with four other men.” He then went and invited the Prophet (@) and the other four men. On their way to his house, a sixth man followed them. When they reached his door, the Prophet (8) said:

dndeed, this man has followed us. If you wish you may admit him, and if you wish you may refuse him.

Abi Shu‘ayb (#) said, “No, I will admit him, O Allah’s Messenger.” *

This hadith indicates that the host may choose to accept or reject any uninyited guests, since he knows better how capable he is of

1 Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others. 2. Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.

Quest for Love & Mercy 119 The Walimah

Unfortunately, we witness many cases where invited guests bring, with them some uninvited individuals, thereby embarrassing the host and making it difficult for him to refuse them, They may even take personal offense if the host refused to admit their invitees. This is a clear violation of the Sunnah and deviation from proper guestetiquettes.

GREETING WITH SALAM, AND SHAKING HANDS

When a Muslim meets his Muslim brothers, he should greet them with salam. Similarly, when one enters into someone’s house for food or some other reason, he should greet the people who are present with salam. Allah (88) says:

The host and other people who are present should respond with a greeting as good or better. Allah (8%) says:

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The reader is further referred to the hadiths of Ibn ‘Amr and Suhayb that were cited early in this chapter (p. 106).

Some people greet each other with non-Islamic greetings, such as, “Good evening,” “Hi,” and so on. This should be avoided, because Allah gave us a better greeting: the salam. It carries a supplication of peace, and it is the greeting of the angels and the people of Jannah. '

Some people are also of the non-Islamic habit of hugging and kissing each other whenever they meet. Hugging should only be reserved to meeting a person after a long absence, such as one who just came back from travel. In other situations, the Muslims should greet each other with salam and shake each others’ hands.

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Abii Hurayrah (4) reported that Allah’s Messenger (&) said: SVT I pleads puladl ll pStel Lo! Iolo

<When one of you reaches an assembly (of Muslims), let him give them salam. When he wishes to depart, let him give them salam as well. Indeed, the first

1 See, for example, ar-Ra‘d 13:24.

2 Recorded by at-Tirmithi. Verified to be hasan by al-Albant (Riya ug-Salibin

3 Recorded by Aba Dawid, at-Tirmitht, and others. Verified to be authentic by al Albant (as-Sahthah no. 525).

Quest for Love & Mercy 121 The Walimah

Before starting to eat, we should pronounce Allah’s name saying, “Bismi ’llah — with Allah’s name (I eat).”

‘Umar Bin Abi Salamah (#s) reported that he was a young boy under custody of Allah’s Messenger (&%), and that while he ate, his hand used to roam all over the plate. Allah’s Messenger (8) instructed

Udeb SU OGLE sale il al LySily opSalab cle Iyanteld

<Gather upon your food; and pronounce Allih’s name — it would then be blessed for you.> *

Pronouncing Allah’s name over the food prevents Satan from having any part in it. Jabir (4%) reported that he heard Allah's Messenger (#8) say:

JG caalab “ney alba ‘ie A553 SES oll Joo lily

1 Recorded by Abii Dawiid, at-Tirmithi, and others. Verified to be authentic by alAlbani (as-Sahihah no, 183). Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.

3 Recorded by Ahmad, Abi’ Dawiid, and others. Verified to be hasan by al-Albant (Sahih ul-Jami‘ no. 142 & as-Sahihah no. 664).

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df a person utters Allah’s name when he enters his home and when he eats, Satan tells his companions, “Leave! There is no abode or food for you (in this house tonight).” But if he enters his house without mentioning Allah’s name, Satan says to his companions, “You have secured lodging.” Then if he does not mention Allah over his food Satan says, “You have secured both lodging and food.”> !

If a person forgets pronouncing Allah’s name before he starts eating and remembers later during the meal, he may still pronounce it. ‘Mishah (tz) reported that Allah’s Messenger (&S) said:

<When one of you eats, let him utter Allah’s name. If he forgets uttering Allah’s name in the beginning, let him say, “Bismi "lahi awwalahit waakhirah — } with Allah’s name (I eat) from its beginning to its

It is important to note here that there is no authentic supplication i or thikr to be said before or during eating — except for pronouncing | Allah’s (8%) name. Other supplications that people commonly say i before eating are unauthentic and should be avoided.

AVOIDING CRITICIZING THE FOOD

All halal food is a favor from Allah. We should not criticize it,

1 Recorded by Muslim. 2 Recorded by Aba Dawiid, at-Tirmithi, and others. Verified to be authentic by alAlbani (Jrwa’ul-Ghalil no. 1965).

Quest for Love & Mercy 123 The Walimah

because that could reflect dissatisfaction and ingratitude toward Allah (&%). Furthermore, that could offend and hurt the host. Abi Hurayrah (5) reported:

"ASSIS oly Adsl Stl of as LG sil ng Ole Le”

“Allah’s Messenger (88) never criticized any food. If he had desire for it he would eat it, and if he disliked it he would leave it.” '

Whether at a walimah, a restaurant, or eating at home, and whether the food is varied and delicious or plain and unappealing, we should never eat excessively. In addition to its harms to the health, overeating causes laziness and averts from remembering Allah and being devoted in worshiping Him.

An important quality of a believer is that he does not overeat. Abii Hurayrah, Abii Misa al-Ash‘ari, and ‘Abdullah Bin ‘Umar (cs) reported that Allah’s Messenger (8) said: