5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

When ‘A’ishah was asked about the Prophet’s behaviour at home, she said, “He would either be fulfilling the needs of his family members, or serving them.” Wouldn’t you like to make your way into people’s hearts by fulfilling their needs? If a person needs to go to the hospital, you should take him to the hospital. If another asks for your help in a problem, you should help him out. Let him see you fulfilling his needs and standing by him during his mishaps, whilst he knows that you do not hope for any reward or even thanks! Due to this he would love you and pray for you. He would also always be ready to help you if you were ever in need. An opinion The one who lives for others surely has a hard life, but he will live nobly and die nobly. Fulfilling people’s needs (62 ) Do not burden yourself with what you cannot do One of my friends is one of the best people in terms of his manners, religious commitment and intelligence. He was an Imam of a mosque right next to his house. However, I often used to hear him criticised by many people and be amazed at that, yet unable to find a justification. One day, his neighbour came to me and said, “Dear Shaykh! Your friend neither leads us in prayer nor prays along with us!” I said, “Why is that?” He replied, “I don’t know, but he is the Imam, and despite this, he is often absent from the mosque.” I began to make excuses for him and said, “Perhaps, he is busy with something very important, or perhaps he isn’t at home.” He said, “Dear Shaykh! His car is parked outside his house and I am quite certain that he is home, yet he does not attend the prayers with us, in spite of being the Imam!” I began to investigate into my friend’s reasons for not praying in the mosque until I found the answer. The man, being an Imam of the mosque, would have everyone coming to him asking for help. One man would come to him with debts and ask him to find someone who could pay them. Another who has just finished his secondary school would want him to be a character reference for admission into university. Another is ill and he needs his help to be admitted into such-and-such a hospital. Another has daughters for whom he is looking for husbands. Another has to pay his rent and needs help. Another wants him to write a legal query over a divorce issue which he can then take to the Grand Mufti. Many people with many needs come to him, but he is just an ordinary person who is neither able to do much himself, nor does he have many contacts, or even social status. The poor man was overcome with shame and embarrassment when dealing with people, such that he was never able to excuse himself from others. Rather, he would speak to a person and promise him that he would pay off his debts. He would take the second person’s phone number and promise him that he would be accepted at the university. He would tell the third person, “Come after a couple of days and you will find a letter addressed to the hospital ready”, and so on. They would return to him as promised, but he would excuse himself and give them another appointment, until he began to avoid them. He would not answer his phone calls and often not even leave his house! When one of them would meet him by chance, he would insult him and shout, “OK, but why did you promise me? Why did you raise my hopes?” The second person would say, “I did not speak to anyone else only because you had promised me!” When I saw his situation, I realised that he had dug a hole for Do not burden yourself with what you cannot do himself and fallen therein. I once heard him excusing himself to someone, “I am sorry. I haven’t been able to do anything regarding your case”, while the person would reply in anger, “OK, but you wasted my time! Why didn’t you tell me before?” There I remembered a wise saying, “Excusing oneself at the outset is far better than excusing oneself at the end.” How excellent it is for a man to realise his limited abilities and to move within those limits? Allah teaches us this lesson and says, “Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear”, and also says, “Allah does not burden a soul more than what He has given it.” The Prophet  also forbade that a man should burden himself with more than what he can bear. I have experienced this myself. I remember once giving a lecture in a police convention in Riyadh.