5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

Surely much better than the question posed by another person who had asked, “When is the hour?” The Prophet  said in order to encourage Abu Hurayrah, “I knew for sure that nobody would precede you in asking such a question due to the determination I have observed in you to obtaining knowledge. The most felicitous person to obtain my Look with both eyes intercession on the Day of Resurrection is he who has said, ‘There is no one worthy of worship except Allah’, sincerely from his heart.” Salman the Persian was one of the best Companions, though he was not an Arab. He was the son of noble Persian whose father used to love him intensely and keep him very close to himself, so much so that he would often lock him up in the house out of fear for what may happen to him. Allah entered faith into the heart of Salman – may Allah be pleased with him. He left his father’s house and travelled to Syria in search of the truth. A person tricked him and sold him to a Jew, pretending that he was a slave. After many other events, he finally reached the Prophet . The Messenger of Allah  appreciated him greatly. One day, as he  was sitting amongst his Companions, Surat al-Jumu’ah was revealed to him. The Prophet  began to recite it to his Companions, as they listened attentively. He recited, “He it is Who sent among the unlettered ones a Messenger from among themselves, reciting to them His Verses, purifying them, and teaching them the Book and the wisdom. And verily, they had been before in manifest error.” When he recited, “And others from among them who have not yet joined them. And He is the Mighty, the Wise”, a man from amongst the Companions said, “Who are those people, O Messenger of Allah?” He  did not respond. He asked again, “Who are those people, O Messenger of Allah?” Look with both eyes The Prophet  turned to Salman, placed his hand on him, and said, “Even if faith were near the Pleiades, a man from amongst them (i.e., the Persians) would surely find it.” (al-Bukhari and Muslim) A point of view... Be optimistic and have good opinion of people. Encourage them so they give more. Look with both eyes (85) The art of listening The skills of attracting people and winning their hearts are many. Some involve doing certain actions while others involve avoiding certain actions. Being cheerful attracts people, as does not frowning. Beautiful words, interesting comments and jokes attract people, as does listening attentively to others and reacting to their words. How about if we now discuss the ‘calm attraction’ effect? Yes, some people do not tend to speak much. You never get to hear their voice in gatherings and congregations. In fact, if you notice them in a sitting, you will see that they only move their head or eyes. They may move their mouth from time to time, but only when smiling, without saying a word! Despite this, people love them and long to sit in their company. Why is this? It is because they exercise what is called the ‘calm attraction’ effect. The art of listening has a various set of skills. In fact, someone interested in this subject once informed me that he has attended more than fifteen training sessions on this subject alone! Compare three people: You speak to the first about an incident that occurred to you, and as you begin, he interrupts you and says, “Yes, something very similar also happened with me!” You say to him, “OK, but please let me finish my story.” He remains silent for a while and just as you get to the heart of the story, he interrupts again, saying, “Correct! Correct! This is exactly what happened to me. Once I went to...” You say to him again, “Please, brother, wait...” He then falls silent, but when patience becomes unbearable for him, he interrupts again and says, “Please, hurry up!” As for the second person, as you speak to him, he looks to his right and left. He may even take his mobile phone out of his pocket and write text messages as you speak, or who knows, he might even be playing games on it! The third person knows how to listen attentively. You notice that as you speak, he fixes his gazes on you.You realise that he is carefully following your words. Sometimes he shakes his head in agreement, sometimes he smiles and sometimes he presses his lips out of surprise. Sometimes, he might say, “Amazing! SubhanAllah!” Which of the three aforementioned people would you long to be in the company of and happily visit? No doubt the third! Therefore, capturing people’s hearts is not only accomplished by letting them hear what they would like to hear, but by also listening to what they would like us to hear.