5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

However, our friend was quite foolish. When you deal with people, try to see the importance of matters as they see it, and not how you see it. So the word, 'Excellent' for your son is more precious than a PhD. Your friend's newborn is more precious to him than the entire world. Each time he sees his baby, he feels like opening up his chest so that his son may reside therein. Doesn't your love for your friend dictate that you should share in his moments of happiness, if only a little? Sometimes, people feel passionate over issues. You should show that you also share their passion over those issues. Do not be cold-hearted and lacking in emotion. Give compliments, respond to their feelings and demonstrate your happiness, sadness or amazement. Do not act like a corpse! This is why those who are not responsive to others' feelings often complain, "Why don't my children sit with me?" We respond, "Because, they relate a joke to you, but you never re54 Between the living and the dead spond! They relate their stories from school, but they feel as if they are talking to a wall. Hence, they never feel excited to sit with or speak to you. Even if a person were to mention a story to you which you already know, then there is no reason not to respond to it positively." 'Abdullah bin al-Mubarak said, "By Allah, sometimes a person would relate something to me, and even though I knew of it before his mother gave birth to him, I would still listen to him as if I was hearing this for the first time." How beautiful is this skill! Just before the battle of Khandaq, the Muslims dug trenches and perfected them. There was a man amongst them whose name was Ju'ayl, but the Prophet changed it to 'Amr. As the companions were busy working, they began to sing: His name he changed, Ju'ayl to 'Amr, Gave the poor man that day his help. As they all said, "'Amr", the Messenger of Allah joined them and said: "'Amr!" When they said, "Help", he joined them and said: "Help." Thereupon, the Companions would become more excited and joyous and feel that the Prophet was actually with them. When night came upon them, the weather became severely cold and they continued to dig, the Messenger of Allah went out to them and saw them digging joyfully. Upon seeing the Messenger of Allah they sang: We are those who have pledged our oaths to Muhammad That we will remain on Jihad for as long as we live! Between the living and the dead He said to them in response, "O Allah, the only life is that of the Hereafter, so forgive the Ansar and the Muhajirun." And so he would continue to respond to their emotions throughout the days. Once he heard them singing, whilst completely covered in dust: "By Allah, if it wasn't for Him we would not have been guided We would not have given charity nor prayed So send tranquillity upon us And make our feet firm in the battle Indeed these people have oppressed us But never shall we yield if they try to bring affliction upon us. The Prophet would also sing with them saying, "never shall we yield… never shall we yield…" in response to their feelings. Whenever anyone joked with Prophet he would respond by laughing or smiling. Once 'Umar bin al-Khattab came to the Prophet whilst he was angry with his wives, since they were demanding more stipends. 'Umar – may Allah be pleased with him – thought to himself, "I am going to make the Messenger of Allah laugh!" He said, "O Messenger of Allah, if you recall us when we were men of Quraysh, we always had our women under control. If any of our women were to ask one of us for more stipend, he would have jumped up and grabbed her neck! But when we Between the living and the dead came to Madinah, we found that it was the women keeping their men under control. So our women began to learn these tricks from their women!" Thereupon the Prophet smiled. 'Umar continued to speak and the Prophet continued to smile. You read in ahadith that often the Prophet would smile till his molar teeth would show. How great was the Prophet's behaviour! As Allah has said, "Indeed, you (O Muhammad) are of a noble character!" and He also said to us, "Indeed, in the Messenger of Allah for you there is a noble example." The Prophet used to deal with all sorts of people, and some of them would not be able to deal with others in a noble manner. Some of them would not respond to his feelings, rather they would be very reserved and hasty. Despite this, he would remain patient with them. Once, the Prophet had stopped over at a place called alJi'ranah between Makkah and Madinah.