5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

Abu Sufyan said, “O ‘Abbas, do they comply with whatever he orders them to do?” Al-‘Abbas said, “Yes! By Allah, if he were to order them to forsake eating and drinking, they would!” Abu Sufyan said, “O ‘Abbas, I have never witnessed anything like what I did last night in my whole life, not even the kingdom of Casroes and Caesar!” When al-‘Abbas visited the Prophet  along with Abu Sufyan, the Prophet  said, “Woe be to you, O Abu Sufyan! Has the time not come for you to know that there is no one worthy of worship except Allah?” The night that Abu Sufyan spent with the Muslims had had a profound effect in lessening his enmity towards the Muslims. He replied, “May my father and mother be sacrificed for you! How persevering and how generous of a relative you are! By Allah, I have now come to conclusion that if I had a god besides Allah, he would have helped me a bit!” The Prophet  said, “Woe be to you, O Abu Sufyan! Is it not time for you to acknowledge that I am the Messenger of Allah?” Abu Sufyan expressed his view very openly, saying, “May my father and mother be sacrificed for you! How persevering and how generous of a relative you are! As for what you have just mentioned, then I still have doubts about it in my heart.” The art of discussion Al-‘Abbas said to him, “Woe be to you, O Abu Sufyan! Accept Islam and testify that there is no one worthy of worship but Allah, and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah!” He remained silent for a while and then said, “I bear witness that there is no one worthy of worship but Allah, and I also bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.” The Prophet  was overjoyed. Al-‘Abbas said, “O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a man who loves dignity. Please, offer something to him in reward.” The Prophet  replied, “Yes, whoever enters the house of Abu Sufyan is safe.” A thought... Intelligence is not to win an argument, it is to avoid it. The art of discussion (87) Block the escape routes of the detractors What creates ill feelings in the hearts of people for each other the most is the misuse of the tongue and the evil consequences that follow. This includes the hastiness on behalf of some to comment on someone’s words as he speaks, or interrupting him without thinking twice, which only results in hostile argumentation and people harbouring ill feelings towards each other. You will never be able to rectify all the people, teach them Islamic etiquettes, and train them in the skills of dealing with people. Let us go beyond the idealism which many become obsessed with when they say, “People are supposed to do this”, or “People are supposed to get used to that...” Stop thinking about this and just pray over the deceased who is in front of you, as they say. What I mean is that when we deal with people’s mistakes, we should not busy ourselves thinking about what others should do, but rather, we should focus on what we should do. Whenever you wish to say something strange, some people may hastily comment on your words. It is important that you do not give them an opportunity to do so, by answering their questions before they even ask. Some people can very effectively prevent a person from commenting without them realising it. I remember once an old man was sitting in a gathering talking about a particular incident he witnessed where two people were fighting at a petrol station, and how it became so serious that both taken to a police station. One of those present in the gathering, who was known to be very talkative, jumped up and began to relate his version of the story, saying, “Yes, that’s right, but this is not what happened. What actually happened between the two was this, and so-andso was at fault.” He began to mention other details that did not even occur! The old man turned to him, and I could see that he was about to explode. However, he controlled himself and quietly and calmly said, “Were you there at the incident?” He said, “No.” The old man said, “Did anyone who witnessed it tell you about it?” “No”, he replied. The old man said, “Did you read the incident report?” He said, “No.” Thereupon, the old man screamed, “OK! So how can you say I am wrong when you don’t know anything?” What surprised me were his leading questions before he objected, for if he were to object before throwing those questions at him and thereby closing all the escape routes, the man would have found many avenues through which to flee, even if he had to lie.