91. Be brave and start from now! (cont.)

My mother is like any other aged woman who loves to talk about womanly issues, such as who got married or divorced, how many sons so-and-so has, which of them is the eldest, what is the name of her first child, and so on. I consider all this frivolous, but she loves chatting about it. She feels that the information she shares with me is priceless as it cannot be found in any book, audio or website. She feels that she is relating unique information to me, and is delighted to do so! Whenever I sit with her I instigate such conversations and she becomes elated and continues to speak ceaselessly. My brothers talk about issues that do not interest her and so she feels bored in their company and longs to be in mine! That is all there is to it.” Yes, if you realise the nature of the one you are conversing Use the right flavour with, what he likes and dislikes, you will be able to capture his heart. Whoever looks at the way the Prophet  dealt with people would realise that he would deal with everyone in accordance with their personality. Even when he would deal with his wives, he would do so on the basis of the personality of each. ‘A’ishah was very much of an extrovert and so the Prophet  would often joke with her. Once she went with him on a journey and on the way back, as they approached Madinah, the Prophet  said to the people, “Continue on and leave us behind for a while.” The people carried on, leaving them behind, and so the Prophet  was left with ‘A’ishah. At the time, ‘A’ishah was a young and energetic girl. The Prophet  turned to her and said, “Come, let’s race!” She therefore raced him, and ‘A’ishah won. After some time, she went out again with the Prophet  on another journey. By now she had grown and put on weight. The Prophet  said to the people, “Carry on...” and they did. He then said to ‘A’ishah, “Come, let’s race!” They raced, and this time, the Prophet  won. The Prophet  then started to joke about it as he patted her on her back, saying, “That was for last time when you defeated me! That was for last time when you defeated me!” He would, however, deal very differently with Khadijah, as she was fifteen years his senior. He would take this into consideration even when dealing with his companions. He would not deal with Abu Hurayrah  as he would with Khalid , or with Abu Bakr  as he would with Talhah . He would deal with ‘Umar in a way he would never do with anyone else. When the Prophet  went out with his Companions to the Use the right flavour battle of Badr and came to know that the Quraysh were also on their way, he knew that some men from the Quraysh were coerced into going and had no intention of fighting the Muslims.He stood amongst his companions and said, “I have come to know that some men from Banu Hashim and others have been forced to come. They do not want to fight us.Therefore, whoever of you meets anyone from Banu Hashim in the battle, let him not kill him. Whoever sees Abu al-Bakhtari bin Hashim bin al-Harith bin Asad, let him not kill him. Whoever sees al-‘Abbas bin ‘Abd al-Muttalib, the uncle of the Messenger of Allah, let him not kill him, for he has been compelled.” It is also said that al-‘Abbas was a Muslim who had concealed his faith and would inform the Prophet  about Quraysh’s activities. The Prophet  did not want him to be killed by the Muslims, nor did he want to expose the fact that al-‘Abbas was a Muslim. This was the first battle ever to be fought between the two factions, the Muslims and the disbelievers of Quraysh. The Muslims were tense since they had not prepared for the fight and would soon be fighting their relatives, sons and fathers.Yet, the Prophet  was forbidding them from killing certain people. ‘Utbah bin Rabi‘ah was from the leaders of the Quraysh who were going to lead the battle against the Muslims, while his son, Abu Hudhayfah bin ‘Utbah bin Rabi‘ah was with the Muslims. Abu Hudhayfah lost patience and said, “Shall we kill our fathers, our sons and our brothers and spare al-‘Abbas?! By Allah, if I see him in the battlefield, I shall strike him with my sword!” When his words reached the Messenger of Allah , he  looked around and saw three hundred strong men. Yet, he turned Use the right flavour to ‘Umar exclusively and said, “O Abu Hafs! Is the face of the uncle of Allah’s Messenger to be struck with a sword?” ‘Umar said, “By Allah, this was the first time ever the Messenger of Allah  gave me my nickname, Abu Hafs.” ‘Umar understood the message.