5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

Block the escape routes of the detractors Therefore, when we wish to establish certain facts, we need to precede them with preliminaries in order to convince our opponents before they get a chance to oppose them. When the Quraysh marched forth to fight the Prophet  and his companions at Badr, some of the intelligent ones among them did not wish to fight.However,they had been compelled to march. The Prophet  found out about this and was sure that if they attended the battle, they would not fight the Muslims. When he approached the battlefield, he wanted to inform his Companions about his decision regarding them and forbid them from killing them. He knew that some may have questions in their minds about his decision such as, “Why shouldn’t we kill them when they have come out to fight us? Why did he exempt these people in particular?” The Prophet  mentioned some preliminaries in order not to give them an opportunity to even think about the objections. How did he do so? He stood among his Companions and said, “I have come to know that some men from Banu Hashim and others have been forced to come out. They do not want to fight us.” This was the first preliminary fact. He then said, “Therefore, whoever of you meets anyone from Banu Hashim in the battle, then let him not kill him. Whoever sees Abu al-Bakhtari bin Hashim bin al-Harith bin Asad, then let him not kill him. Whoever sees al-‘Abbas bin ‘Abd al-Muttalib, the uncle of the Messenger of Allah, then let him not kill him, for they have been compelled to march.” Block the escape routes of the detractors The Companions agreed to comply and began to discuss this amongst their circles. Abu Hudhayfa bin ‘Utbah bin Rabi’ah said, “Shall we kill our fathers, our sons and our brothers and spare al-‘Abbas? By Allah, if I see him on the battlefield, I will strike him with my sword!” His words reached the Messenger of Allah . He turned to “Umar and said, ‘O Abu Hafs!” ‘Umar said about this later, “By Allah, this was the first time ever the Messenger of Allah  gave me my nickname, Abu Hafs.” The Prophet  said, “O Abu Hafs! Will the face of the uncle of Allah’s Messenger be struck with a sword?” ‘Umar felt disgusted and angry, for how could Abu Hudhayfah have rejected the order of the Messenger of Allah ? Was he not a Muslim? ‘Umar said at the top his voice, “O Messenger of Allah! Allow me to strike his neck with my sword! By Allah, he has become a hypocrite!” Abu Hudhayfah – may Allah be pleased with him – thereafter regretted his words on that day and said, “I do not feel secure from the words I uttered that day. I will continue to be terrified of them unless martyrdom expiates for them.” He was martyred on the day of Yamamah. Advice... Have them for lunch before they eat you for dinner! Block the escape routes of the detractors (88) Wait and do not interrupt! I recall that once a lecturer was speaking about the art of discussion. During the lecture, he mentioned something from the story of Yusuf – peace be upon him. When he reached the verse, “And two young men went to prison with him. One of them said, ‘I dreamed that I was pressing wine.’ The other said, ‘I dreamed that I was carrying upon my head bread whereof the birds were eating.’” he stared at the audience for a while in silence, and then said, “And two young men went to prison with him… which of them entered the prison first?Yusuf, or the young men?” Someone from the audience shouted, “Yusuf!” Another one said, “No! The two young men!” A third person said, “No! It was Yusuf!” A fourth person, who thought he was clever, said, “They all entered together!” A fifth person then spoke, which caused such clamour that the original topic was completely forgotten! It seems that the lecturer did this quite deliberately. He began staring at the faces of the audience as time passed by. He then smiled, asked them to quieten down, and said, “What was the problem if one of them entered before the other? Does this issue require all this discussion and argument?” If we contemplate on our reality, we will find that we often become burdensome for others by interrupting them when they speak. Someone may be in the middle of relating an interesting story, only to be interrupted by another who would ruin the punch line in the story by commenting on something that does not even affect the main storyline. Do not be burdensome on others by commenting on everything you hear. I remember once when my brother, Su’ud, was seven years old, he entered the mosque for the ‘Isha prayer. It seemed as though he was in hurry and the Imam had been slightly late for leading the prayer.