5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

What did he do? He said to ash-Shifa', "Wouldn't you teach her the 'incantation of the ants the way you taught her to write?" The 'incantation of the ants' is what Arab women used to repeat, and everyone knew that it neither harms nor benefits. The incantation as known amongst the women was composed of the following: "The bride celebrates, dyes, applies kohl and does everything else, except that she does not disobey her husband" The Prophet wanted to indirectly teach Hafsah a lesson by repeating, "…except that she does not disobey her husband." How beautiful is this approach towards correcting others' mistakes that leaves love intact in people's hearts, unshaken by errors and unpolluted by excessive offers of advice! Make your tongue sweet A man borrowed a book from one of the early predecessors. When he returned the book after a few days, it had foodstains on it, as if it had been used to carry bread or grapes. The owner of the book remained silent. After a few days, the same man came to him to borrow another book. He gave him the book in a plate. The man said, "I only want the book. Why are you giving me a plate?" He replied, 'The book is for you to read, and the plate is for you to carry food in!" He took the book and went, having learnt the lesson. I recall a person who used to go home late at night and take his shirt off, hang it on the wall and go to sleep. His wife would then come, open up his wallet and take out the change – one and five Riyal notes.When he would wake up in the morning, go to work and want to pay the grocer, he wouldn't find any change. He would be left surprised, thinking where the money could have gone! He thought about it and got an idea of what might be going on. One day, he returned home. He had placed a frog in his pocket. He took his shirt off as usual and lay down on the bed as if he was asleep and began to snore, whilst paying attention to what happened to the shirt. His wife came to take whatever she could, as usual. She turned to the shirt very slowly and entered her hand in the pocket and touched the frog. When the frog suddenly moved, she screamed, "Aah! My hand!" The husband opened up his eyes and screamed, "Aah! My pocket!" If only we applied the same tactics with everyone, including our children and students, when they err! Make your tongue sweet Nayf is one of my friends. He had a very pious mother. She never used to like having pictures around in the house, because the angels do not enter a house in which there is a dog or a picture. She had a young daughter who used to have all sorts of toys, except a doll. Her mother used to forbid her from buying dolls but allow her to buy anything else. Her maternal aunt once gave her a doll and said, "Play with it in your room but don't let your mother see it!" After a couple of days, the mother found out, so she decided to give advice in an appropriate manner. When they sat at the dinner table, Umm Nayf said, "Dear children, for a couple of days I feel that there have been no angels in the house! I've no idea why they left! There is neither might nor power except with Allah!" The young girl listened quietly. After dinner, the young girl returned to her room to notice the doll amongst her many toys. She picked up the doll and brought it to her mother and said, "Mum! This is what caused the angels to leave. You may do with it as you please!" How wonderful is this approach that one can correct people's wrongs and give advice, being light-hearted without being harsh or cumbersome! Meaning: Allow the one being advised to retain his honour. It is possible to drink honey without destroying the honeycomb. Do not advise a person as if he has disbelieved due to his actions! Rather, have good thoughts about him and assume that he made a mistake unintentionally, or without knowing. In the early stages of Islam, alcohol was not prohibited. It was Make your tongue sweet only prohibited in stages. In the first stage, Allah declared that alcohol should be despised but He did not forbid it. He said, "They ask you about alcohol and gambling. Say they both contain grave sins and benefits for people." In the second stage, Allah forbade the people to drink it before the prayer, saying, "Do not approach the prayer whilst you are drunk, so that you realise what you are saying." Thereafter a man could not find the time to drink alcohol due to being busy with the prayer. In the last stage, Allah said, "Intoxicants and gambling, all are an abomination of Satan's handiwork.