91. Be brave and start from now! (cont.)

Do not scare him.'" When the toddler had finished urinating, he called for some water and poured it over his stomach.' (Ahmad and al-Tabarani, with trustworthy narrators) How amazing was the Messenger of Allah to train and adorn himself with such manners! No wonder he was able to win the hearts of the young and old. Opinion... Instead of cursing the darkness, try to fix the lamp. Enjoy the skills (9) With the poor Many people today view manners in a commercial light. To them, only rich people's jokes are worth laughing at, and only their faults are considered small and worthy of overlooking. As for the poor, their jokes are unbearable and only worthy of ridicule, while their faults are magnified and they are shouted down. As for the Prophet , his kindness extended to both rich and poor alike. Anas – may Allah be pleased with him – said, "There was a man from amongst the Bedouins whose name was Zahir bin Haram. Whenever he came to Madinah for a need, he brought something for the Prophet as a gift, like cottage cheese or butter. Likewise, the Prophet would prepare something to give to him whenever he wanted to leave, such as dates and so on. The Prophet used to love him and say: "Zahir is our Bedouin and we are his city-dwellers." Zahir was not very good looking. One day, Zahir – may Allah be pleased with him – left the desert and came to Allah's Messenger but did not find him. He had some merchandise to sell so he went on to the marketplace. When the Prophet found out about his arrival, he went to the marketplace looking for him. When he arrived, he saw him selling his merchandise with sweat pouring down from his face, and he wore Bedouin clothes which did not smell good either. The Prophet hugged him tightly from behind, while Zahir was unaware and could not see who it was. Zahir became scared and said: "Let me go! Who is this?" But the Prophet remained silent. Zahir tried to release himself from his grip and started to look right and left. When he saw the Prophet he relaxed and calmed down, placing his back against the Prophet's chest. The Prophet began to joke with him, saying to the public: "Who will buy this slave?! Who will buy this slave?!" Thereupon, Zahir looked at himself and thought of his extreme poverty, for he had neither wealth nor good looks. He said: "You will find me unmarketable, O Messenger of Allah." The Prophet said: "But you are not unmarketable with Allah. You are very precious to Allah." It was no surprise then that the hearts of the poor were attached to the Prophet . He would gain their respect and love by such an attitude. Many poor people may not accuse the rich of miserliness in terms of wealth and food, but they can certainly accuse them of miserliness in terms of gracious and kind treatment. How often do you smile at a poor person and make him feel he is worthy and respectable, so that perhaps at night he might supplicate for you and cause Allah's mercy to descend upon you from the heavens? There may be a person with dishevelled hair who is rejected and not cared for, but if he ever asks Allah for something he With the poor is always responded to. Therefore, always be humane with the weak. A hint... Perhaps just a smile at a poor man would raise you in rank in the sight of Allah. With the poor (10) With women My grandfather used to mention an old idiom which says, "When one neglects his she-goat, she brings home a male-goat," which means that when a woman does not get her emotional needs fulfilled, she responds willingly to someone else who charms her. The point of this idiom is not to liken the man and the woman to a male and female goat – Allah's refuge is sought! – since a woman is a man's companion. If Allah has blessed the man with a strong body, He has also blessed the woman with strong emotions. How often do we see brave men and even leaders crumble in front of the emotional prowess of a woman? To deal skilfully with women one should discover the key to her emotions. The Prophet would advise people to treat their womenfolk with kindness and have regard for their emotions, so that they may live with them in happiness. He advised fathers to be kind to their daughters. "Whoever looks after two girls until they have grown up, he and I will be on the Day of Resurrection like this", said the Prophet as he joined his fingers together. He also advised sons to look after their mothers.