5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

Thereupon his nephews came to him as he was breathing his last and said, "O 'Urwah! What do you say regarding the spilling of your blood?" Meaning; shall we avenge your blood by killing those who killed you? He replied, "This is an honour Allah has bestowed unto me. This is my martyrdom which Allah has brought to me. My case is like the that of the martyrs who were killed in the company of the Messenger of Allah . So do not kill anyone for me, and do not avenge my blood from anyone." It is said that when this news reached the Prophet , he said regarding him, "He was among his people like Yaseen among his people." Take notice! People have feelings. No matter how close you get to them, do not be bold with them in your humour or dealings. Avoid the red line. Do not hurt them, no matter how high The red lines they hold you in regard, even if they be like your brothers or sons. For this reason, the Prophet drew our attention to this and forbade us from frightening a believer. One day the Prophet was on a journey with his Companions. Each one of the Companions had with him his belongings including weapons, sleeping mats and food. They stopped over at a place and a man amongst them fell asleep. His friend turned to a rope he had and took it jokingly. When the man woke up and found the rope missing from his belongings, he was terrified and began looking for it. Thereupon the Prophet said, "It is not allowed for a Muslim to frighten another Muslim." (Abu Dawud) On another occasion, when the Companions were travelling with the Prophet , a man was overcome by slumber whilst mounted on his ride. His friend took advantage of his negligence and took out an arrow from his quiver. The man realised that someone was playing with his weapons, so he became terrified, frightened and alert. Thereupon the Prophet said, "It is not allowed for a Muslim to frighten another Muslim." (al-Tabarani and others, reported by reliable narrators). Similar is the case with someone who jokes with you thinking that you will be happy, whereas in reality, he only harms you, or even worse, fills your heart with fright and anxiety. For instance, he notices that you have just parked your car outside a grocery with the engine running, so he comes and drives off in your car, causing you to think that your car has been stolen - obviously as a joke. The one on the receiving end of such jokes may respond courteously and may even laugh at the joke, but the fact remains The red lines that the joke was still cruel. A point of view Whatever goes beyond its limits turns into its opposite. How often jokes turn into arguments! The red lines (60) Keeping a secret A famous old saying goes, "Any secret that passes beyond two is bound to spread." Someone was asked, "Who are 'the two' being referred to here?" He pointed to his two lips and said, "These two!" During the last thirty-five years of my life, I do not recall whispering into someone's ear a secret, entrusting him therewith, except that that I made him swear an oath that my secret will remain in a bottomless well! Nor do I recall any of them saying to me explicitly, "Dear Muhammad, please forgive me for I am no longer able to keep your secret." In fact, whenever you inform someone of your secret, he will place his hand on his chest and say, "By Allah! If they put the sun in my right hand and the moon in my left, or a sword on my neck, to inform them of your secret, I would never do so!" Then, when you feel satisfied and think you can trust him, you reveal your secrets to him. He patiently waits for a couple of months or more before revealing your secrets to others. Your secret begins to travel from person to person until it finally reaches you. You are the one at fault here since your secret should not have passed beyond your lips. Do not overburden people with what they cannot bear. When a man's chest is too restricted to contain his own secret Then even more restricted is the chest of a man entrusted with that secret I tested many people in that regard and found them to be the same. The problem is that you only go to them for consultation. They first give you advice and then reveal your secrets to others, thereby losing respect in your eyes and becoming the most hated of people to you. One of the most amazing things to happen in history is that before the battle of Badr, when the Prophet heard about Quraysh's caravan approaching from Syria and decided to engage in a battle with the pagans, he marched out with his companions to intercept the caravan.