5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

Your friend, Ibrahim.” - Would this not increase his admiration for the friend? No doubt, it would. If one’s father was ill in hospital, and he was to remain with him in his room, distressed and preoccupied with concern, and his friend were to phone him, asking after the father, saying: “Do Be concerned about others you need any help? I am always there if you need me,” he would certainly thank him. Then, if he were to call in the evening again, saying: “Does your family need anything that I can buy for them? Please let me know,” he would have thanked him and prayed for him. Do you not think that his heart would be endeared towards him further? Compare that to a friend who calls, saying: ‘Hello! We are going off to the beach to have fun. What do you say? Do you want to come with us?” he would reply: ‘Well, my father is ill, so I cannot.’ Then, instead of praying for the father and apologising for not asking about his condition, if the friend were to say, “I know that, but he is in the hospital and he has nurses to look after him. He won’t benefit much from your presence, anyway. Come with us, enjoy yourself and swim, etc.” If he said this while laughing and joking, as if he is unconcerned about the father’s illness, what would one’s view of the friend be then? No doubt, his status in his heart would decrease as he simply did not display any concern whatsoever about his worries. One of the most upsetting things ever to happen to me was when I was once in Jeddah for a few days. I was extremely busy at the time and meanwhile, I received a text message from my brother Su’ud which read: “May Allah grant you befitting patience. Your cousin has passed away in Germany.” I called my brother who told me that this cousin of ours, who was elderly, had travelled just two days before that to Germany for heart treatment and had died during the operation. His body was soon to arrive at Riyadh airport. I prayed for him and sought Allah’s mercy for him, and ended the call with my brother. A couple of days later, my work in Jeddah was complete, and so I went to the airport, waiting for my flight to depart for Riyadh. Be concerned about others There, a group of young men passed by me. When they saw me, they recognised me and greeted me. Some of them were adolescents with outlandish hairstyles, but I nevertheless joked with them and affectionately teased them. I became busy with a telephone call and after I finished,I saw a young man wearing trousers and a shirt. When he saw me, he greeted me and shook my hand. I welcomed him and said, jokingly: “What is this fashion? It is as if today is your wedding day!” or words to that effect. The young man remained silent for a while and then said: “I think you haven’t it recognised me. I am so-and-so. I have just arrived from Germany with my father’s body and I am flying off to Riyadh on the next available flight.” I felt as if someone had poured a barrel of cold water over me. I was extremely embarrassed. His father had passed away, whose body happened to be with him in the plane, and yet here I was, joking with him and laughing. This was extremely awkward, indeed! I remained silent for a second, before replying: “I am so sorry! By Allah, I did not realise it was you! I’ve been here for a few days, you see. May Allah grant you befitting patience and may he forgive your father.” This was despite the fact that I had an excuse in not realising who he was, as I used to see him very infrequently and on those occasions he would be in his traditional dress and headscarf. Therefore, because he wore trousers and surprised me, amongst a crowd of young men in Jeddah, I did not think that he was the person in question. Be concerned about others Part of having concern for others is to share in their feelings and to show them that their worries are your worries, and that you love good for them. For this reason, one would find that professional companies always have a Public Relations department, whose role is to send seasonal greetings, gifts, and so on. Whenever one shows people that they are valued and cared for, he captures their hearts and they then love him. Here is a real-life example of this: If a person were to enter a place full of people and could not find a place to sit, and one was to move a little and offer him some space saying: “Please come here and have a seat”, he would recognise his concern for him and this would endear him to him.