5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

You see a groom a week after his wedding who has acquired a degree in higher education and just moved to a new house. No doubt he is expecting you to congratulate and compliment him. Be as people expect you to be – do not disappoint him. 'Abdul-Majid, my cousin, was a young man in secondary school. After he completed his secondary education, he asked me to come with him to apply to a university. I rang him one morning and drove to his house to take him with me there. At Be observant and complimentary the time, he had many feelings in his heart since he was moving on to the next stage in his education, and thinking about the college that would accept him as a student. When he entered my car, I smelt his perfume, which I thought was very strong. It seemed as though he had emptied out an entire bottle on himself that day! Frankly, I choked on the scent so I wound down the window to be able to breathe. I then realised that the poor boy had put a lot of effort in adorning himself and applying perfume. So I turned to him smiling and said, "MashaAllah! What an amazing scent! I think that the Head of Department, by merely smelling the sweet scent, would shout at the top of his voice, 'You have been accepted!' " You cannot imagine the extent to which happiness engulfed his heart and joy enveloped his face. He turned to me and said with all zeal, "Thank you, dear Abu Abd al-Rahman! Thank you very much! By Allah, this is an expensive perfume. Whenever I apply it, people do not even notice!" He then began to smell his scarf and said, "By Allah, I have excellent taste!" This happened to me more than fifteen years ago. Since that time, Abdul-Majid has graduated from the university and has been employed for years; but this incident has remained in his memory. Sometimes he even fondly jokes of this incident when we meet. Yes! Be complimentary. Controlling people's emotions and acquiring their love is an easy job. However, many times we ignore these basic means through which we can win people over. Do not then be surprised if I say that the man with the best ever character, the Prophet used to employ these tactics, and even Be observant and complimentary better ones! In the early years of Islam, when the Muslims were being persecuted for their religion in Makkah, they subsequently migrated to Madinah, leaving their homes and wealth behind. At this time, 'Abd ar-Rahman bin 'Awf came to Madinah as a migrant. Although, 'Abd ar-Rahman used to be a successful businessman in Makkah, he arrived in Madinah poor, with no possessions to his name. As a quick solution to this widespread problem, the Prophet joined the emigrants and the helpers in a bond of brotherhood. Thus, he made 'Abd ar-Rahman bin 'Awf and Sa'd bin ar-Rabi' al-Ansari, brothers. Their souls were sound and their hearts were clean. Hence, Sa'd said to 'Abd ar-Rahman, "Dear brother, I am the wealthiest of all the people of Madinah. Split my wealth in two and take one half and leave the other half for me." Sa'd then felt that perhaps 'Abd ar-Rahman wanted to get married, and he may not find a wife, so he proposed that he should help him in getting married. 'Abd ar-Rahman then said, "May Allah bless you in your family and wealth. Please, just guide me to the marketplace." Although 'Abd ar-Rahman left his wealth in Makkah and the disbelievers confiscated it, he was intelligent and had good business sense and experience. Sa'd upon his request, led him to the marketplace, after which 'Abd ar-Rahman bought merchandise on credit, sold it on the spot, and made profits. Thereby, he acquired capital with which he could do business. He was an expert in buying, selling and bargaining. After a while, he earned some wealth for himself and got married. He then came to the Prophet smelling of saffron, a scent usually worn by women, Be observant and complimentary although it was not unusual since he was the groom. The Prophet being a doctor of hearts with an observant, caring personality, would seek out moments where he could captivate people's hearts. He noticed this change in 'Abd ar-Rahman, and began to pay attention to the scent, and then said to him, "What's new?" 'Abd ar-Rahman happily said, "O Messenger of Allah, I have married a woman from the Ansaar." The Prophet became surprised as to how soon he was able to marry, having just migrated! He then asked, "What did you give her as dowry?" 'Abd ar-Rahman replied, "I paid gold, equal to the weight of a datestone." The Prophet then wanted to increase him in his joy, thus he said, "Give a wedding banquet, even if it is only with one sheep"; meaning, hold a celebration for us all for your wedding.