5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

One of its secrets is that instead of being generous to a person directly, be generous to those he loves. Due to this, he will love you. A friends of mine once visited me. He had with him a small bag of sweets and toys, which I do not think would have cost him more than a few Riyals. He gave it to me and said, "This is for the children!" My children were very happy, as was I, for he made me realise that he liked to make my children happy. One of the predecessors was a poor scholar. His students would give him various gifts, such as dates and flour, every now and then. Whenever a student gave him a gift, the teacher would remain pleasant with him for as long as his gift remained, but when it ran out, he would go back to his previous ways. A student consequently came up with the idea that he should give him a gift which was of a reasonable price and would also last. He therefore gave him a bag of salt as a gift, for salt is cheap and long-lasting as only a very small amount of it is used in food. One bag alone would have sufficed him for a year or two. If you were to ask me which of two gifts you wish to give to your friend, one being an expensive perfume and the other a clock with his name engraved on it, I would chose the clock simply because it would last for longer and is always noticeable. Also, perhaps it may even be cheaper. I recall once giving a student of mine a clock with his name engraved on it. He graduated from the university and years went by. I then visited a city to deliver a lecture and was surprised that he came to attend the lecture and then invited me over to his house. When I entered the lounge, he pointed at the clock Generosity Generosity on the wall and said, "This is the most precious gift I have been given." This was seven years after he graduated. And, in fact, this clock was not expensive at all, but its sentimental value was much more. Point of view… Opportunities to win people's hearts do not come often. 482 (74) Restraining oneself from harming others There was a man hated by everyone because none was ever spared from his harm. If he spared a person from his hand, he would not spare him from his tongue. If he forgot to speak ill of a person in his presence, then he would not forget to speak ill of him in his absence. The man was certainly disliked by all and was too much for anyone to bear. If you think about society, you will realise for certain that, usually, only those who are more blessed than others are the ones to abuse others. It is the strong that abuse the weak by pushing them away, kicking them, beating them, or belittling them. He would act like a lion with them, but in testing situations be is like an ostrich. The rich person will transgress against the poor, disgrace them in public gatherings and interrupt them as they speak. People in higher positions are guiltier of such crimes, and the same is witnessed with all those whom Allah has blessed with good fortune. Not only are such people loathed, but whenever a calamity befalls them, people rejoice and wish that they lose all the respect that others may have for them. Indeed people wish that they would become totally bankrupt! Look at the Messenger of Allah . One day he sat with his companions and asked, "Do you know who is the barkrupt one?" They replied, "A bankrupt person, as we know it, is the one who neither has a dirham nor or any possessions." He said, "Rather, the bankrupt person from my ummah is the one who comes on the Day of Resurrection with prayers, fasts and charity. Yet, it is discovered that he cursed this person, accused that person, illegally possessed this person's property, murdered that person and hit this person. All those he oppressed will be given from his good deeds. If his good deeds are gone before the account is settled, their bad deeds will be taken and placed into his account, and then he will be thrown in the fire." (Muslim) For this reason, the Prophet would avoid harming anybody. 'A'ishah – may Allah be pleased with her – said, "The Messenger of Allah never struck anything with his hand: neither a woman nor a servant, except during a battle. He never sought revenge from the one who inflicted harm upon him, unless one of Allah's sanctities were violated. Only then he would seek revenge for Allah." (Muslim) Generally speaking, whoever uses the blessings that Allah has given him to cause harm to others is disliked.