5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

But the Caliph kept laughing and saying, "Kill him! Kill him!" He was executed and his body was dumped in an abandoned well. The next morning the Caliph woke up and desired someone's company, so he said, "Call my companion!" It was said, "We have killed him!" He said, "You have killed him? Why? Who ordered you to kill him?" They said, "You told us to kill him yesterday", then they told him the whole story. The Caliph remained silent, lowered his head in sorrow and said, "If only words were able to say to their speaker, 'Please do not utter me!'" To return to our topic, how often it is that people repel others from themselves, make them resentful towards them, or manage to cause trouble for themselves by not controlling their tongues! Ibn al-Jawzi said, "It is amazing how many people are strong Control your tongue enough to abstain from consuming unlawful wealth, fornication and theft and yet are unable to abstain from moving their tongues. You will see such people speaking ill of others and unable to prevent themselves from doing so." Interestingly... Animals have long tongues, yet they cannot speak. Man has a relatively short tongue, yet he cannot keep silent. Control your tongue (78) The key Flattery is the key to people's hearts. From the most fantastic of skills that one can exercise is to train himself to discover the positive points in people and praise them for these points before drawing their attention to a fault. Many people reject advice not because of arrogance or the lack of conviction that they are at fault, but only because the one advising does not give the advice in an appropriate fashion. Suppose you go to a government hospital for treatment. When you approach the reception, you find the receptionist to be a young man who is engrossed in his newspaper whilst smoking cigarettes, heedless about whatever may be happening around him. You notice that there is an old man standing at the reception holding a small baby in one hand, and an appointment letter in the other, waiting for the receptionist to direct him to see the relevant doctor. Next to him there is an old woman carrying a little girl who is shivering with fever, waiting for the receptionist to finish reading the latest news about the football club he supports, so he can direct her to the paediatrician. When you see this situation, you become uptight - and this is understandable - and scream at the receptionist, "Hey you! Are you in a hospital or elsewhere? Don't you fear Allah? The patients are moaning in pain and you are just sitting there reading your paper and having a smoke! This is amazing! Someone like you can only be dealt with by lodging a complaint to your manager! In fact, you should be sacked!" You begin to strike the receptionist like thunderbolts with these statements. Let us suppose that he does not respond to you, or at least he does not scream back at you. Let us suppose that he puts his newspaper aside and directs the patients to the relevant doctors. Do you think that you have successfully solved the problem? Not at all! Yes, you did deal with the crisis at hand, but you did not solve the problem, because, even if he responds positively to you now, he will return and do the same tomorrow or the day after. How should you then deal with him? You should first quell your rage and then approach him.Deal with him rationally and not emotionally. Do not let the intolerable scene affect the way you behave. Smile, even if you are angry, even if it be a fake smile. Say to him, "as-Salaamu 'alaykum!" He would respond, as he looks at the photograph of his favourite player, "alaykum al-Salaam, please wait a second..." Say to him anything that would make him turn to you, such as, "How are you doing? Good evening to you, by the way!" He would surely raise his head and say, "al-hamdulillah, I am fine."You have now already accomplished half of the mission. The key Be kind to him by flattering him, "Believe me, I don't think someone like you should work at reception." He will be surprised and ask, "Why is that?" Say to him, "Because a bright face such as yours, if a patient were to see it, his illness would disappear and he wouldn't need to see a doctor anymore!" He would smile back at you in surprise and become excited. Now he is ready to accept advice. He would say to you, "How can I help you?" You then say to him, "Dear brother, do you see this old man here and this old woman? Why don't you deal with them first?" He will get hold of their appointment letters and direct them to the relevant doctors. He will then take your appointment letter.