5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

If you were to divorce her again, she would no longer be yours and would not be allowed to marry you again except after having married another man and then being divorced from him, so fear Allah and do not destroy your household." One day, he came to me again in a worried state and said, "Dear Shaykh, we had an argument again and I have divorced her for the third time!" Although I was not surprised at this, I was shocked when he continued, "Would you happen to know of a beloved Shaykh who can pass a verdict allowing me to take her back?" On reflection,I came to realise what we have just mentioned above, that many people's views – or even legal rulings – vary due to their nature and emotional state. Some people are known to love wealth by nature. One should not be surprised to see them humiliating themselves in front of the wealthy. Such people would neglect their own children in order to accumulate wealth and would hardly spend on those under their responsibility. This should come as no surprise, bearing in mind their greedy nature, as the fact is that most of the decisions they make and opinions they hold are based on their nature. People are like the minerals of the earth If one wishes to deal with a person of this nature or make a request of him, then he should bear in mind, before speaking to him, his love for wealth, and then endeavour to not conflict with his nature in order to attain success with him. An example will illustrate this point: Suppose one bumps into an old university colleague and therefore invites him home for lunch, which he agrees to; one would then need to go shopping in order to purchase the required foods as well as time and effort in order to prepare the lunch. Suppose he then phones up some of his other old friends asking them to come around to meet this colleague... Amongst these friends may be a miser whose heart is captured by the love of wealth. He may be delighted to hear the voice of the caller, but would say when he hears about the lunch appointment, "Oh! How I wish I could come and meet so-and-so, but I am too busy with other things right now. Please do convey my greetings to him though. Perhaps, I will see him another time." It is known by this person's nature that he did not wish to come, fearing that he too would have to invite this colleague for lunch, which would cost him! Therefore, one would say to such a person, "Well, he is not in town for long. He will most probably leave straight after the lunch." The friend would then say, "Oh, I see! In that case, I will delay what I have to do and come and see him!" Other people tend to be socially restricted to their families. A person of this nature would always love to be with his family and could not bear leaving them. One could ask him for anything except for being parted from his children, even for a short while, People are like the minerals of the earth as that would be too much for him to tolerate. The amazing person in this regard is he who is able to capture all kinds of hearts. If he travels with a miser, he wins the heart of his companion by being economical. If he sits with the emotional, he too is emotional towards them and so they love him. If he accompanies the light-hearted, he makes jokes and laughs along with them, thereby winning their hearts. He deals with each situation accordingly. Look at the conduct of the Prophet as he advanced with his many battalions to conquer Makkah. Before the conquest, Abu Sufyan visited the Prophet and accepted Islam. When he became a Muslim, al-'Abbas said to the Prophet , "O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a man who loves pride and honour, so please offer him something." The Prophet said, "Yes, whoever enters the house of Abu Sufyan is safe. Whoever locks himself in his house is safe. Whoever enters the Mosque is safe." When Abu Sufyan set off to return to Makkah, the Prophet looked at him and thought that this is the man who mobilised the Quraysh to fight him at Badr, Uhud and then Khandaq. He was a leader who had spent many years of his life in wars. Since he was a new Muslim, the Prophet wanted to show him the strength of Islam. The Prophet said to al-'Abbas, "O 'Abbas!" "At your service, O Messenger of Allah!" replied al-'Abbas.