5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

Their closest friends dislike them and avoid their company. SubhanAllah! All the while, Allah says, “And when you speak, be just!” Our mother ‘A’ishah – may Allah be pleased with her – said, whilst describing the way the Prophet  would treat others, “The Messenger of Allah  never complained about food. If he liked it, he ate it. If he didn’t like it, he simply left it.’ (al-Bukhari and Muslim) Absolutey! He never used to make a fuss about anything. Anas – may Allah be pleased with him – said, “I served the Messenger of Allah  for nine years. I never heard him comment about anything I did, ‘Why did you do this?!’ He never criticised me for anything at all. By Allah! He never even said uff to me!” This is how he was, and this is how we should be. By saying that, however, I am not suggesting that you should not advise others, or that you should remain silent over their mistakes. Rather, you should not scrutinise everything people do, Do not criticise! especially in worldly matters. Learn to overlook such matters. If a guest were to knock at your door, you would welcome him and take him to the drawing room. When you bring some tea, he would take the tea cups. Upon looking into the cup, he would comment, “Why didn’t you fill up the cup?” If you say, “Shall I give you more?” He would say, “No, leave it. This is enough.” He then asks for water and you give him a glass of water which he drinks. After he is finished, he says, “The water was quite warm.” He then turns to the air conditioner and says, “Your air conditioner does not seem to work!”, and begins to complain about the heat. Wouldn’t you feel that this person is very burdensome, and wish that he leaves and never returns? People dislike too much criticism. However, if you really do need to criticise, then package it well and then present it with kindness to others. Present it as if it were a suggestion, rather than a criticism. Present it indirectly, or using vague expressions. If the Messenger of Allah  ever noticed a person making a mistake, he would not confront him directly. Rather, he would say, “What is wrong with the people, who do such-and-such?” which would indirectly imply, “I mean by that you, dear neighbour, so please pay attention!” Once upon a time, three zealous young men travelled to Do not criticise! Madinah, wanting to know how exactly the Prophet  worshipped and offered his prayers. They asked the wives of the Prophet  what he would do in private. His wives then informed them that sometimes he would fast and at other times he would not. He would also sleep for a part of the night and pray in the other part. They then said to each other, “But this is the Messenger of Allah  whose past sins Allah has forgiven.” Then each of them made a decision. One of them said, “I will not get married. I will remain a bachelor and therefore, I will be free for worship.” Another said, “I will always fast, every day.” The third one said, “I will not sleep at night. I will pray all night long.” When news of this reached the Prophet – may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him − he stood on his pulpit, praised Allah and glorified him, and then said, “What is wrong with the people?”, notice the vague expression. He did not say, “What is wrong with so-and-so?” Rather, he said, “What is wrong with the people that they say, such-and such? Yet, I pray and go to sleep. I fast and sometimes I do not. I also marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not from me.” (al-Bukhari and Muslim) On another occasion, the Prophet  noticed that some of those who prayed with him raised their eyes to the sky during the prayer. This is wrong, for one should look at the place of prostration during the prayer. He said, “What is wrong with the people that they raise their Do not criticise! eyes up to the sky in their prayers?” When they did not cease from this and continued to look up, he did not expose them, or mention them by names. Rather, he said, “They must stop, or else their sight will be snatched away.” (al-Bukhari) Bareerah was a slave woman in Madinah. She wanted to be freed, and therefore, asked her owner to free her. Her owner stipulated that she give him money for her freedom. Bareerah then came to ‘A’ishah to ask her for financial assistance.‘A’ishah said, “If you wish, I can give your price to your owners so you could be free, on the condition that your loyalty lies with me.” The slave woman informed her owners about this, but they refused. They wanted to profit on both; they wanted her price as well as her debt of loyalty.