5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

Thus, he began to ask Abu Bakr questions, the answers to which were none other than, “Indeed! Yes! Correct!” He said, “O Abu Bakr, isn’t he the Messenger of Allah?” “Indeed, he is!” said Abu Bakr. He said, “Are we not Muslims?” “Indeed, we are!” replied Abu Bakr. He said, “Are they not pagans?” “Sure they are!” replied Abu Bakr. ‘Umar said, “Are we not upon the truth?” Do not be dictatorial “Indeed, we are!” replied Abu Bakr. ‘Umar said, “Are they not upon falsehood?” “Surely, they are!” replied Abu Bakr. ‘Umar said, “Why should we then surrender in a matter related to our religion?” Abu Bakr then said, “O ‘Umar, is he not the Messenger of Allah?” “Sure he is”, said ‘Umar. Abu Bakr said, “Then obey him! For I bear witness that He is the Messenger of Allah.” ‘Umar then said, “And I also bear witness that he is the Messenger of Allah”, and went away. He tried to restrain himself but couldn’t, so he approached the Messenger of Allah – may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him. He said, “O Messenger of Allah, are you not the Messenger of Allah?” “I am, indeed!” said the Prophet . He said, “Are we not Muslims?” “Of course, we are”, said the Prophet . He said, “Are they not pagans?” “Yes, they are”, replied the Prophet . He said, “Then why are we compromising in a matter related to religion?” The Prophet  then said, “I am a slave of Allah and His Messenger. I would not disobey His order. He would never mislead Do not be dictatorial me.” ‘Umar remained silent. The treaty was signed, and the Muslims returned to Madinah. Days went by and the Quraysh broke the treaty. The Prophet  then conquered Makkah and purified the Sacred House of the idols. Then, ‘Umar realised that he was incorrect to oppose the Prophet’s decision. Thus, he used to say, “I never ceased to fast, give charity, pray and free slaves, due to what I did that day, fearing the consequences of the words I spoke that day, until I began to regain some hope.” How excellent was ‘Umar! How excellent was the Messenger of Allah  before him! How can we benefit from this skill? If your son does not memorise the Qur’an, and you would like him to do so eagerly, then begin with things that you both agree on. You can say to him, “Don’t you wish that Allah should love you? Don’t you wish to raise your rank in Paradise?” No doubt he would reply, “Indeed!” Then, you can present your advice to him as a suggestion, saying, “In that case, if you were to attend Qur’an memorisation circles…” Likewise, if you were to notice a woman who does not wear a Hijaab, speak to her about things you both agree on. You should say, “I know you are a Muslim woman, and therefore, always eager to do good.” She would say, “Correct, al-hamdulillah.” You would further say, “You are a chaste woman who loves Allah.” Do not be dictatorial She would say, “Yes, al-hamdulillah.” Then, you can present your advice in the form of a suggestion, saying, “Perhaps, you should pay more attention to the Hijaab aspect of Islam, and show more enthusiasm to cover.” This is how we can achieve what we want from the people, without them even realising. A twinkle… You can always eat honey without demolishing the beehive. Do not be dictatorial (33) Hold the stick from the middle “Thank you very much for deciding to teach as a career. Allah has gifted you with a flair for teaching.Your students love you very much. However, I wish that you would not turn up late for work in the morning.” “You are beautiful. Your house is in order. I don’t deny that the children are tiring you out. However, if only you could look after their clothes more.” This is how a righteous person behaves with the people. He mentions the good points first and then brings his attention to the faults, in order to be balanced in his approach. When you criticise, try to mention where the person is right before mentioning where he is wrong. Always try to give the impression that you have a positive view of him. When you caution him over his errors, this does not mean that you are belittling him, or that you have forgotten his good deeds, or that you should only mention his wrongs. On the contrary, you should make him realise that your criticisms of him are insignificant in comparison to his good deeds. The Prophet  was very beloved amongst his Companions. He would employ great techniques whilst dealing with them. Once he stood with his Companions and gazed at the sky, as if he was contemplating or looking for something.