5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

This is very important, for if you were to contemplate the Quran, you would find thatAllah,the Mighty and Majestic,refers to His Prophets by their names: "O Abraham! Turn away from them…" "O Noah! He is not from your family" "O David! We have made you a deputy on this earth" In short Show me that you have concern for me by remembering my name, and refer to me by it... and I would surely love you. Remember names (27) Be observant and complimentary Many of the things we do in life are actually done for others and not for ourselves. When you are invited to a wedding party, you wear your best clothes. You do this in order to attract people's attention and to amaze them with your appearance, and not for your own sake. You become happy when you notice that they admire your beautiful appearance, or your glamorous clothes. When you decorate your lounge, and put effort into adorning and taking care of it, you do it mostly for others' sight and not your own. This is evident by the fact that you look after your lounge more than your own room, or your children's room. When you call your friends to dinner, don't you see that your wife, and perhaps, even you, make sure that the food is well arranged and is more varied than usual? Undoubtedly, you do! The more important your friends are to you, the greater your concern about the food. How often are we overwhelmed with happiness when someone praises our clothes or the décor of our house, or the taste of our cooking? The Prophet has said, "Let a man come to the people how he likes the people to come to him," meaning, treat the people how you like to be treated by them. How? If you see that your friend is wearing a beautiful garment, notice it and compliment his taste. Let him hear the resounding words in praise, "Praise be to Allah! How beautiful it is! It is as if today is your wedding day!" Similarly, if someone were to visit you one day and you smell nice perfume emanating from his clothes, you should praise him and indulge him, for he did not apply the perfume except for you. He would definitely appreciate your oft repeated encouraging phrases, praising him such as, "What a beautiful fragrance! You have excellent taste!" If a person calls you over for dinner, praise his food, for you know that his mother, wife, or sister stood for hours in the kitchen just for you, or for the guests in general, and you happen to be one of them. Or at least, he may have made an effort to bring the food from a restaurant and confectioners. So let him hear the words that would make him realise that you appreciate his efforts, and that his labours did not go in vain. If you were to enter the house of one of your friends and you were to see nice furniture, make sure to make a positive remark about the furniture and the great choice your friend possesses. (However, avoid over-praising, lest it begins to sound as if you are mocking him). If you go to a general gathering and hear someone speaking to those present eloquently, thereby livening the atmosphere and delighting the audience, then praise him. Hold his hand when you get up. Say to him, "Masha Allah, what an amazing orator! Nothing illuminated the gathering except your presence!" The next time you find yourself in the company of such a person, Be observant and complimentary try this out with him and he is almost guaranteed to develop a liking for you. If you witness a son being good to his father - for instance, he kisses his hand, or brings his shoes closer to him for his ease - praise the son and be compimentary. If you meet one wearing a new garment, praise him and be radiant. If you visit your sister and notice how she takes care of her children, praise her joyfully. If you see how your friend takes care of his children or how splendidly he welcomes his guests, be daring, compliment and praise him. Express the admiration you feel in your chest for his actions. If you sit in someone's car or rent a taxi and notice the cleanliness of the car, or the expertise of the driver, then be complimentary and praise him. You may say, "These are all things that people normally do." True, but still, praising them over such things doesn't fail to affect them. I have tried it out myself and tested this skill on a number of people, young and old, ordinary workers and teachers. In fact, I have even tried it with people who work in high positions. I noticed how incredibly they were affected, especially concerning things where people expect others to comment on.