5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

He always distracts you saying, “O man, the work is so much! Oh, when will they increase our salaries?” He arrives frowning and leaves resentful. Sometimes, he complains of pains in his body or his son’s bad behaviour. In short, we should all realise that there are problems in our lives with absolutely no solution, and that the only way to deal with them is by taking things easy. Yes, enjoy your life! Beware of allowing your difficult situation to impact on your behaviour at work, with your children, your colleagues, etc. What have they done to deserve such punishment for problems which they played no part in, nor are able to provide solutions to? Do not let them associate grief and sadness with you each time they see or remember you. This is why the Prophet  forbade one from wailing over the dead, screaming, tearing up clothes, and shaving the head, etc. Why? Because the way to deal with the dead is by washing the body, covering it in a shroud, praying over it, then burying it in the grave and praying for the deceased. Screaming and wailing serves no purpose, except that it turns the joy of life into grief. Once al-Ma’afibin Sulayman was walking with his companion, and his companion turned to him, frowned and said, “How cold it is today!” Al-Ma’afisaid,“Have you warmed up now?’ “No”, he replied. Al-Ma’afisaid,“So what was the point of complaining? If you had glorified Allah, at least it would have been better for you.” And how accurate was his understanding and wisdom! Live your life… Do not expose problems you are unaware of, and do not expound on small matters. Simply continue to enjoy your life. Problems with no solutions (47) Do not kill yourself by grief Sa’d was a student of mine at the university. Once he was absent for a whole week, so when I met him, I said, “I hope everything is fine, Sa’d?” “Nothing’s wrong at all, I was just a little busy”, Sa’d replied. It was obvious that he was grief stricken. I said to him, “What’s the news?” He replied, “My son is ill. He has an injured liver, and a few days ago he also contracted blood poisoning. Also, just yesterday I was shocked to hear that the poisoning has now reached the brain.” I said, “There is no might or strength except by Allah! Have patience! I pray to Allah that He cures him. And if Allah were to decree anything for him (i.e. death), I ask Allah to make him your intercessor on the Day of Resurrection.” He replied, “Intercessor? Dear Shaykh, my son is not that young.” “How old is he?” I asked. “Seventeen years old”, he replied. I said, “I pray to Allah that He cures him and bless his brothers.” He lowered his head and said, “Dear Shaykh, he has no brothers. I have not been blessed with any more children, and he has been afflicted with this illness as you can see.” His situation had an impact on me, but I remained firm and said, “Dear Sa’d, in short, do not kill yourself with grief. Nothing will afflict us except what Allah has already written.” I then consoled him and left. Yes, do not kill yourself with grief, for that will not lighten your troubles. I remember that sometime ago I went to al-Madinah al-Nabawiyya and met up with Khalid. He said to me, “What do you say if we visit Dr. ‘Abdullah?” I said, “Why? What’s the news?” He replied, “For condolences.” “For condolences?” I remarked, in surprise. He said, “Yes. His eldest son went to a wedding party with the entire family in a nearby city, whilst he remained behind in Madinah due to his commitments at the university. On the way back they were involved in a terrible road accident in which they died - all eleven of them!” The Doctor was a righteous man beyond fifty years of age, but nevertheless, a human being with feelings and emotions. He had a heart in his chest, and two weeping eyes, and of course, a soul that became happy and sad. When he heard the terrible news, he prayed over them and Do not kill yourself by grief buried them with his own hands, all eleven of them. He began to wander about his house in bewilderment. He would pass by toys that lay there untouched for days, because the Khulud and Sarah who would play with them had died. He would return to his bed which hadn’t been made because Umm Salih, his wife, had died. He would pass by Yasir’s bicycle which hadn’t moved for days since the one who used to ride it had died. He would enter his eldest daughter’s room to see her wedding suitcases arranged and her clothes lying on her bed. She died when she was in the middle of arranging her wedding clothes.